Patricia10

Iv suffered panic attacks since I was 18 and I remember I was drinking at the time,because other people drank the same as me I thought it was ok and would never associate the fact I had a panic attack to anything apart from having mental health problems.im now 37 and having been sent to rehab by my work place after ringing in sick one to many times with a hangover (although I only admitted this to work lately as the real reason).i always thought my panic was because of family problems when I was younger,grieving you name it i never thought it could be early signs of alcoholism.i found most people in rehab had always had a feeling of never belonging etc since young and always searching for happiness and when they find drink or diazepam or whatever substance they suddenly feel they fit in and feel confident etc its hard to believe you could be born craving for something you have never had before because you have an addictive gene in you it's very hard actually but it seems very possible.i binge drank it wasn't everyday but after drinking my panic attacks are worse until they just sometimes naturally pass but it only seems distractions get rid of them its just finding healthy distractions and it takes time.i didn't realise I had anger issues as I'm not violent and don't swear and carry on but I do keep the peace and my anger goes inward which I learnt can make you feel terrible ie so wound up you can have flu like symptoms,anxiety,panic,aching mucsles you name it and all for not recognising an emotion and dealing with it properly ie not getting physical angry but not being a walk over either.you can be a binge drinker and be an alcoholic,the person next to you might drink more than you but they might not be an alcoholic.im shocked that the amount of times I went to a doctor they gave me anti depressants not one suggested maybe I could be an alcoholic I think because I didn't fall through the doctors door smelling of alcohol but that doesn't have to be the case.ud be surprised in rehab that everyone seems to have the same things going on anxiety,panic,not feeling they belong,depression these can cause people to drink but drink can also cause these.just bringing some of what iv learnt to the forum.ps: I'm still getting panic and anxiety but iv been in rehab for 6 weeks which is a shock to the system I go bak to work next week so it will be good getting back to a routine and I'm sure now I recognise feelings more i know how to deal with them.remember alcohol NEVER makes things better

FeelingGreat

Hi Patricia, welcome to SR and thanks for your insights into why people drink. I'm sure there are many people who would recognise themselves in your descriptions. Like you I have problems dealing with anger, my own and other peoples'. I wish there were more courses out there on how to be constructively assertive.
I hope your return to work goes well and you stay sober and keep working on your own development. And you're so right; alcohol never makes it better!

hypochondriac

Welcome to SR Patricia

I could have written your post some time ago but I have learnt a lot from what you have wrote. I've been sober over a year now but there is still some underlying anxiety which I am only now starting to identify. My panic attacks while drinking very nearly ruined my life. It gets so much better as time goes on but also with a lot of effort on recovery. I am still amazed at my doctors lack of ability to connect the dots in my case, especially seeing as I was honest with them about the drinking and had health concerns directly related to it. It still took them years to put 2 and 2 together. Stick with the specialists if you can. Seeing as you have been in rehab I am sure you will be getting the right help and ongoing support...? Glad you found SR too. This place honestly saved my life x

GracieLou

I was at a meeting yesterday and the lead mentioned that very thing. She had made many visits to the psych ward usually after a drinking binge. They told her that her issues were not a mental problem, she had a drinking problem.

She had both really but once she tackled the drinking side and got sober she could face the thinking side and work on her issues like anxiety and anger.

It sounds like you are on the right path now.

Patricia10

Thankyou both yeah there is a lot to work on for sure I just thought depression,anxiety,panic mental health issue end of story not the fact that my own emotions and how I deal with them have caused it or at least made it a lot worse even my councillor in rehab said the language I use about myself ie good bad right wrong referring to things as problems is all harsh language on myself I had an affair once and straight away I was bad if I'd actually looked at it not as black and white just look at the grey in the middle that I'm human and not beat myself up about it then the guilt wouldn't have got to me so much its true you can't go around thinking of things to the extremes right and wrong because your setting yourself up for failure.drink made things go out of control I did some stupid things drunk woke up annoyed with myself and guilty and ashamed then drank to deal with those emotions aswel.so as I said stopping drinking doesn't make everything go away there were still issues there but dealing with them without drink is the way to go and it can only be better for sure.il never miss the hangovers that's for sure.