Day 24 then drank! :( - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Go Back   SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information >
Register Blogs FAQ Members List Calendar Arcade Mark Forums Read





Reply
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 05-25-2013, 12:48 PM   #1 (permalink)
Member
 
nowme's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2013
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 439

Day 24 then drank! :(


I just need some encouragement.
I hate to admit I drank a beer after 24 days and want to throw in the towel but I know what that will lead to NO Good!!
nowme is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to nowme For This Useful Post:
DG0409 (05-25-2013), ElegantlyWasted (05-25-2013), Malachi (05-25-2013), sassu78 (05-25-2013)
Old 05-25-2013, 12:54 PM   #2 (permalink)
Member
 
SNST's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2013
Location: Louisville, Ky
Posts: 435
Now, I know 1 leads to 2 etc...But you can put that behind you now an start again, you will be ok, I know its been 23 days off opiates for me and I want a pill so bad today its driving me crazy! I havent relapsed yet and I pray to God I dont but I can imagine how you feel. It has to be such a downer after you have came so far....Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, an dont drink again
__________________
Remember, Addiction is a disease, as is cancer. you wouldn't judge one with cancer so don't judge an addict!!
SNST is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to SNST For This Useful Post:
DG0409 (05-25-2013), Kasiaa (05-25-2013), nowme (05-25-2013), Sabotage No More (05-26-2013), sassu78 (05-25-2013)
Old 05-25-2013, 12:56 PM   #3 (permalink)
Member
 
Westpark707's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Cleveland, Oh
Posts: 150
I slipped yesterday too. The guilt was worse than hangover. Stay accountable to yourself,do not throw in the towel. For me, it is a road to self destruction. I have committed to a sober 24 hours. Maybe you can join me.
Westpark707 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Westpark707 For This Useful Post:
DG0409 (05-25-2013), Sabotage No More (05-26-2013), sassu78 (05-25-2013)
Old 05-25-2013, 01:02 PM   #4 (permalink)
Sober since October
 
MidnightBlue's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,061
Blog Entries: 42
Oh, Nowme, don't throw the towel.

Let's say you have 25 rounds fight. You've won 24 rounds, but lost just one, and you are still winner.

Yeah, you missed a jab from your addictive voice, it hurts. But it just means you should work on your defense techniques and stay on guard.

Got up and keep going.

Take care.
__________________
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you made an incredibly bad decision.

Inside of a ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong

Hope is not a strategy, luck is not a factor, fear is not an option.
MidnightBlue is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to MidnightBlue For This Useful Post:
AllieB (05-25-2013), claryhen (05-25-2013), DG0409 (05-25-2013), nowme (05-25-2013), Sabotage No More (05-26-2013), SNST (05-25-2013)
Old 05-25-2013, 01:29 PM   #5 (permalink)
Member
 
nowme's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2013
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 439
I went to the 24 hr. thread and posted there. I'm going to commit to that 24 hrs. But now I have the voice saying.. You messed up, you have tried to quit a trillion times, it's not going to work, you don't want it bad enough, you fail at everything you try..
I'm trying to not give up but it is really, really hard. I don't want to be the alcoholic drug addict!!
If I weren't on probation I m not sure where I would be right now.
I mean I'm not using because I don't want to break my probation, pretty pathetic!
I want to be the person who doesn't use because they don't want to, not vecause they have no choice.
I'm going to jail next sat. For ten days because of a DUI. Why can't I just be through with through with this B.S?
Is it going to take be locked up for the rest of my life, my husband leaving me, my mom never wanting me in her life again? I won't be able to handle that si why can't I just say enough is enough?
I want to get up and knock my opponent out forever!!!!(midnightblue) I don't want to be in the ring for the rest of my life!!! Beat her to a bloody pulp!!
I'm not violent but I am feeling pretty violent about this addictive personality.
Someone posted somewhere how they are constantly addicted to something, I am that person!!
Valerian tea
Sleepy time tea
Melatonin
Hot fudge
Petting/ giving my dogs so much attention my husband wonders why I don't give HIM that much attention
Yesterday I went fishing and everyone was ready and I said, NO I have to catch one more fish, I caught another one and said well, just one more and it went on until my husband finally said, we need to go back. I would have stayed out in the lake forever.
The list goes on:
Cheese
Exercise
Camping
Hiking
Swimming
I don't think I can do anything in moderation
I try but it is like I have to have one thing that I keep doing, if it is healthy, if it is not healthy it doesn't really matter.
It's like I have to consume myself with stuff.
Searching for new music, I become obsessed, it's so scary???
nowme is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to nowme For This Useful Post:
1newcreation (05-25-2013), DG0409 (05-25-2013), SNST (05-25-2013)
Old 05-25-2013, 01:35 PM   #6 (permalink)
Member
 
Torso's Avatar
 

Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: North England, UK
Posts: 214
Blog Entries: 1
I think there is a difference between addiction and compulsion..
Obsessively searching music, exercising etc is not harmful... it's a compulsion to feel good...To fill the gap with something positive.
Drinking far too much is addiction and harmful and all sorts of bad, even when we know this we keep doing it.

I really recommend writing yourself a message of how bad your addiction was so you can re-read it right after a binge or just before you pick up.

Then of course the usual avrt, urge surfing etc
Torso is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Torso For This Useful Post:
DG0409 (05-25-2013), nowme (05-25-2013), Sabotage No More (05-26-2013)
Old 05-25-2013, 01:39 PM   #7 (permalink)
Member
 
nowme's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2013
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 439
Thank you Torso, that is helpful.
nowme is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-25-2013, 01:49 PM   #8 (permalink)
2Cor5:17
 
1newcreation's Avatar
 

Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Between Doctor's opinion & pg 164
Posts: 3,080
Hi Nowme,
Welcome to SR...Please read pgs 30-33 in big bk & twill explain you're malady. We are alkis so there's always smthg we search for after putting the drink down. My thing is chocolate, coffee & going to meetings. I don't care what AW thinks coz this is my sobriety & its top priority. I don't want to go back where I came from.
As for you doing time next wknd, I can kind of relate to it a bit. Got my 2nd dwi last May & was told if guilty will be looking @ 10 days. I've been sober 11 mths now & gone to so many mtgs plus had an attendance sheet filled @ every 1 of them so my lawyer told me that should work in my favour that the judge will show mercy to me.
Don't give up;there's nthg out there. Being sober & serene is soooo much better
1newcreation is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to 1newcreation For This Useful Post:
nowme (05-25-2013)
Old 05-25-2013, 02:07 PM   #9 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 20
nowme,
I had a friend tell me when I relapse it doesn't take away the time I was sober. Every day you start again you have those 24 days behind you. Nothing and no one can take that away from you...you are stronger than you were before. Get rid of the guilt all I've ever found it is good for is telling me why I am "bad" which makes me want to relapse. You've got this. One day.
Mirel is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Mirel For This Useful Post:
AllieB (05-25-2013), nowme (05-25-2013), SNST (05-25-2013)
Old 05-25-2013, 02:26 PM   #10 (permalink)
Member
 
AllieB's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 297
Don't throw in the towel! You've done so much amazing work so far. One beer (yes, you shouldn't have had it, yes, having it made your life a little more challenging in the short-term) does not obviate the work you've done and the progress you've made! Don't let yourself use the slip as a starting point for a shame spiral. I think that what you've done so far is amazing, and I'm sure you have the strength to pick yourself up and keep on pushing through.
AllieB is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to AllieB For This Useful Post:
bexxed (05-25-2013), nowme (05-25-2013)
Old 05-25-2013, 04:17 PM   #11 (permalink)
Member
 
sassu78's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 212
Nowme, I made that mistake when I was 21 days sober. I don't know how bad your hangover and withdrawals were when you quit the time before, but mine were horrible. Not taking a drink in the first 5 days was the hardest thing I've ever done. So after relapsing on Sunday, the memories of those days kept me motivated. I only had few drinks so as much as I hated to start all over again, it was so much more easier.

Please don't give in. Fight with us.

I'm now on my day 5 and I learned my lesson.
And today I feel so good and happy for beating this thing!

Like they say: You can't win a war without losing few battles.

I wish you all the best
__________________
"What you do today might improve all your tomorrows"
sassu78 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to sassu78 For This Useful Post:
nowme (05-25-2013)
Old 05-25-2013, 04:19 PM   #12 (permalink)
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 180,757
Blog Entries: 1
This recovery stuff is hard. A lot of us have difficulty making it stick to begin with.

You made a mistake. You can think about how to do better next time, later.
Right now, draw a line under it and get back to where you know you want to be.

this is a marathon, not a sprint - you stumbled...but you don't have to fall to the ground and lie there

D
__________________
Dee74 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
1newcreation (05-25-2013), nowme (05-25-2013), sassu78 (05-25-2013)
Old 05-25-2013, 04:37 PM   #13 (permalink)
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 52,273
Try to learn from this experience and move forward. Be kind to yourself because hating yourself for what happened won't help in the long run.
__________________
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

Marianne Williamson
Anna is online now   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Anna For This Useful Post:
1newcreation (05-25-2013), Dee74 (05-25-2013), nowme (05-25-2013)
Old 05-25-2013, 08:25 PM   #14 (permalink)
Member
 
nowme's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2013
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 439
Thank you everyone for your encouragement and advice. I'm not giving up. I'm here until the end no matter how difficult it gets.
nowme is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to nowme For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (05-25-2013), sassu78 (05-25-2013), SNST (05-25-2013)
Old 05-25-2013, 08:34 PM   #15 (permalink)
Member
 
sassu78's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 212
So happy to hear that nowme!!
__________________
"What you do today might improve all your tomorrows"
sassu78 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to sassu78 For This Useful Post:
nowme (05-25-2013)
Old 05-25-2013, 08:45 PM   #16 (permalink)
Grateful
 
Grungehead's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 1,707
Blog Entries: 1
Sometimes replacing an unhealthy addiction with a healthy addiction is a good thing. You still need to ask yourself if the "healthy" addiction is somehow affecting your life in a negative way (affecting job, family, etc). I have played golf since I was 12 years old and the first time I got sober (for 7 years) I consumed all of my free time with 2 things...AA and golf. My golf game got so good I became a professional for about 3 years. Unfortunately I never got good enough to sustain a living from it but I use that as an example of a healthy addiction. Anyway, I'm glad you're not giving up. I've had a couple of long stretches of sobriety only to go back out and drink but I'm not giving up either.
__________________



Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.

-Albert Einstein

Grungehead is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Grungehead For This Useful Post:
nowme (05-25-2013)
Old 05-25-2013, 09:37 PM   #17 (permalink)
Member
 
nowme's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2013
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 439
Thanks guys! This is soooo hard. I know it can be done, there is proof
nowme is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to nowme For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (05-25-2013), sassu78 (05-26-2013)
Old 05-25-2013, 09:54 PM   #18 (permalink)
Today's Muse
 
LosingmyMisery's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2007
Location: West end
Posts: 1,081
Blog Entries: 3
Quitting was the hardest thing I ever had to do and I've been through some tough times. However, it was worth every second of anxiety and unease and misery. I thought I was a hopeless case. I really believed there was no hope of me ever staying sober, but I was wrong, thankfully. There is always hope. Latch on to the thought of hope and keep fighting. You can do this...
__________________
"Better to light one small candle than to curse the darkness."

http://www.freeimagehosting.net/ipvur
LosingmyMisery is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to LosingmyMisery For This Useful Post:
RobbyRobot (06-27-2013), sassu78 (05-26-2013)
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:54 PM.