Day 10 - hanging out with people early in recovery?
 

10 days clean :) , and it feels good to say I’m in the double digits.

But I have this friend, who has just over 30 days clean and she keeps wanting me to come over and hangout with her and stuff and I really want to but It’s like I don’t know if I trust her or myself. Considering her downstairs neighbor smokes crack, that’s a good reason to stay away. But she really is sweet and I know how badly she wants to recover but we both have had a love affair with opiates, and I don’t want to ever risk going back there. I just keep making excuses of why I can’t hang out with her.. this is probably something I should talk about with my sponsor... any suggestions?

Since you are of the opposite sexes and both in early sobriety, if you are both straight be careful of not jumping into a romantic attachment. What about hanging out in a public place like going to the park or for a bite to eat (NOT a date LOL). Anyway it's a good idea to run it through your sponsor especially if he knows both of you.

I like your thinking. You have to trust your gut and yes, talk with your sponsor.

It's especially important not to put yourself in a situation that might jeopardize your sobriety. That includes hanging out in a location that has drugs readily available and hanging with the opposite sex early in recovery.

I think people thought I was sort of cold about it, but I made it a point not to get too close to anyone in early recovery .... friends from rehab, friends from my sober living house. Don't get me wrong, we were friends, but I didn't want anything to cloud my judgement if things got hinkey. And they did. Not many of the folks I went to rehab with are still sober, in fact, some are dead.

You've probably heard the saying, stick with the winners..... hang out with some of the guys that have some sobriety under their belt AND live a life that you aspire to. I spent a lot of time hanging out at my home group before and after meetings. Lots of us would stay late and play cards and stuff. It felt like a safe place to me.

She's 41 bisexual and married to a man, and I'm Gay. lol. but yes maybe a public place would be better.

You're right. And I know the whole "Men with the men, women with the women" thing, but I don't see anything wrong with me hanging out with the opposite sex in recovery considering I'm not even attracted to women.

I would stay away from the opposite sex early in recovery. Especially if you're both early on. That's just a recipe for disaster. That's what I kept getting told by people. I.didn't listen and I did it anyway. It really wasn't worth it.

Natom.

I don't understand WHY though. Like yeah, obviously they don't want people in early in recovery to be getting into relationships with eachother but there's no chance of that happenening to me because
1.) IM GAY
2.) Everyone else is like 20 years older than me.

hang with who ya want, but check yer motives.

It's all just the basic laws of attraction. You end up replacing the drugs with a person. It doesn't matter what sexuality you are or what sex they are. It's good to have recovery buddies but its not a good idea for two people in early recovery to be hanging out. IMO.

Natom