CatPer

Hi! Thanks for listening! My sister is an alcoholic. She and I are extremely close and I have already tried everything to help/stop her. The fact that she doesn't stop for me or her 2 children boggles my mind. She lives 2 hours away and I hear from her daughter all the time as she is picking her mother up off the bathroom floor. I know I can't help my sister, but I have a question. My sister will be visiting tomorrow for the weekend. She is drunk as we speak (has gone to bed after being in the bathroom for hours). What do I say to her? Just ignore this fact? Do I finally just cut her off to get her attention? Or I guess it wouldn't help? I just don't know what to say, as obviously nothing has helped. My main concern also is I know she is drinking and driving. Some advice would be appreciated. Thanks!

Dee74

You'll find a lot of support here CatPer

I think it's very hard to make the alcoholics in our life stop if they don't want to.
You can make healthy boundaries for yourself tho - have you ever considered something like Al Anon?

we have Family and Friends forums here you may be interested in reading and posting in too

welcome
D

least

Here's a link to the forum Dee mentioned.

Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Spinach

I imagine you can only ask her if she needs any help ! You'll be the one to know if she is within grasp of being asked. We hate being confronted or accused as it makes us squirm but if the moment works you can say your concerned and you love her.
The rest is just bad. Drink driving is dreadful no one would ever do it sober right but ,give the sober man a drink and watch. A DUI might help but calling the police on her that's a tough call.
Dees spot on you need someone to talk to.
Cutting her out will just give her more reason to drink.
Keep posting and good luck.
John.

Threshold

Not sure (only you can make the decision) if you need to cut her off totally, but I think it's wise to set real firm boundaries so that her drinking doesn't negatively impact your life.

Drunk driving is truly criminal and has the real risk of killing her, her daughters, and other drivers. Sorry, couldn't and wouldn't tolerate it. Raised my kids telling them if they ever drove drunk I would not ever let them use my car, or bail out their butts etc. We had a zero tolerance rule on that one.

How old are the daughters?

You can't make your sister stop and get help.

The best you can do is, when she is coherent, sit her down and be straight about your boundaries, how much you care and that you do not want to see her die or kill anyone else through her drinking. That you will support her recovery but not her coninued drinking. then you follow through on that with action.

No badgering, begging, shaming etc.

Get support for yourself through a group like al-anon.

help yourself, help her daughters because those are three people who you can actually do something for.

DisplacedGRITS

lots of good advice here. for me, if she was coming over then trying to leave after drinking, i would tell her that i will call the cops and give them all her information so she could get pulled over. drinking and driving is life threatening, not just for her but for everyone in her car and on the road. can i get anyone else's opinion on this?

CatPer

Thank you so much for the help! She has a daughter who is 20 and son is 18. Both live at home (son in 11th grade). Thank goodness both drive, so she won't have to drive them anywhere. Her husband is disabled and very judgmental (one of the reasons she drinks), so he is of little help. Again, thanks for the help! I got in touch with a friend who is in the same situation with her brother. She said Al Anon saved her life, so she is going to go to a meeting with me. Thanks so much, again!