Icandothis2013

Hi,
You may have followed the fact that I was on a work assignment in Africa where I did 17 days sober with really very little difficulty!! .My last record was 17 days last August - since then I have done 3-4 sober nights a week (as opposed to drinking every day which is what I used to do). But when I do drink I can down 2 bottles of wine a night :-(
I posted here because I was worried about the plane ride home as I LOVE drinking wine and watching movies in planes. However I really impressed myself by doing the 7.5 hour journey with just one orange juice and some water..BUT when I got home I found that the childminder had left a bottle of wine in the fridge (she and my son she had apparently won it at a fair they went to ) .. so I spent all afternoon thinking about it and , come 6pm, opened it up. I drank that and HALF of another bottle i went out to get from the supermarket. I am such an idiot !! The next night (Tuesday) I did not drink but last night I again had 1.5 bottles ...I have just poured the rest away. This has GOT to stop. I was doing so well and feeling great. Now I feel wretched and disgusted with myself. It is my birthday tomorrow so I am saying that the best present I can give myself sobriety... Why is it so hard ? and why does the urge to drink creep up on you when you think you have got it licked ?!!

Dee74

Hi Icandothis

I think beating yourself up is pointless.

You learned a lesson that most of us learn sooner or later - you can't let down your guard.

Thats a pretty valuable lesson to have - along with the 'any thing that tells me drinking is ok is a lie' and 'I have conclusively proved I can't have just one drink'

If you keep trying, and if you persist, you will get these into your head and they will become second nature

do you have a plan now for what to do? more support or anything?

D

mecanix

Bravo for putting the drink down the sink

Keep working at it . keep your eye on the goal .

For me it was hard right up untill the point i completely gave in and acepted i could never drink again . Which was swiftly followed by the overwhelmingly happy realization i need never drink again . I determined i'd go through any pain , boredom or anything rather than drink .
I somtimes could hear temptation tapping at the door but i always slam it shut . It wasn't easy but i stuck to it . going to bed at 6pm somtimes as i was "safe " there .

Never give up , you've done so well . Get back on your sober bike , think about what you've learned and carry on with the journey , get support and guidance .

Seems to me if you've managed 17 days then anything is possible ..

Bestwishes, M

Spinach

Guess it's time to start watching films and drinking tea. it's great your giving yourself these breaks . I think in the end the breaks get shorter and the drinking larger.
You know you can do it , start working on enjoying the things you did whilst drinking and enjoying them even more whilst not. How many films have you struggled to remember the detail or ending !
Remember never give up giving up.
Love John.

least

Forgive yourself, learn from it, and move forward again.

ImperfectlyMe

Keep that feel

ImperfectlyMe

Ops I meant keep that feeling you are feeling now as a reminder of why you dint want to go there again

soberclover

The alcohol in the house thing doesn't work for me.

Old habits are hard to break but very worth breaking. Once you establish new habits the cravings eventually aren't as intense and are further apart. When you fight the fight and win, you will feel stronger. When you feel stronger it becomes easier. Don't give in no matter what.

EverySngleNight

If I found "surprise wine" in my fridge... I don't know what I'd do!! I'd like to think I'd pour it out. But at this stage - logically - I doubt it. I can avoid buying it and going to bars. But if I came home and found it in my fridge??? Ugh!! You were bamboozled!!!! Man.. That SUCKS.

Pick yourself up and dust off. You were presented a challenge that you just weren't ready for. That's all. Don't worry about your days and time in. Just get back to it and know that booze CAN'T be in your home. That's the take-away, right??

It's all so much easier said than done, isn't it? I'm so glad you came here and posted your experience. You didn't just fall back in and disappear. You're still trying!! That's worth a LOT. Hang in there. X

Climber122

We are obsessed by alcohol until the obsession is lifted by a Higher Power. Obviously I'm an AA drunk but I just wanted to throw some encouragement your way. I tried a lot of the same thing - switch from liquor to beer, drink every third day, tried the wine diet but the truth is my brain just wanted ethyl alcohol any way it could get it, and it was happy to wait for my willpower to crumble. Have you accepted that you are an addict of a drug yet? That's all it is - not a good time, not relief, not pleasant with food. It's those things to non-alcoholics, and we certainly have had our fun, but when you grow tired of the legal battles, and hangovers, and panic attacks, and hospital visits etc. and find you still can't quit what you know is terrible for you, you are addicted, plain and simple. Like it's better for radar operators to guide a plane in a fog than the pilot, you need someone else guiding you through sobriety. I always advocate AA, but any group setting (in person if possible) would really help you to see you are just an alcoholic and not the terrible person you probably think you are. In fact chances are you are a wonderful persons with tons of potential to help others once you get help for yourself. Alcohol is an obsession for us before we are free of it. What you are experiencing is proof for yourself that you need to find a meeting and go there - tonight. That voice making excuses that as to why you shouldn't go is your addiction talking. God bless.

MeSoSober

That's what I thought, too. I know we can't make excuses for ourselves, but I think you can acknowledge that you were still early in your sobriety and you were "set up" to fail in a way that you could not have foreseen.

Sounds like you've beaten yourself up plenty over it, so I say time to hit the reset button and move on -- today's the first day of the rest of your life!

doggonecarl

Not to discount your achivement, seventeen days is awesome. But it's hardly a sign you've licked alcoholism.

I'm not sure we ever "lick" it. But we can stay on top of it and be ever vigilant in our recovery.