Sitting thinking
 

Just sitting here thinking I turned 59 this week 1 week sober today.I am from Scotland a culture steeped in alcohol my dad drank cheap wine and anything else he could get his hands on.My relatives used to come over when I was wee and booze it up in our house.Strangely my mother didn't drink.I remember taking a drink of cheap cider with my nephew who was 9mts younger than me when I was about 14 and we screwed up our faces and said it tasted rotten and we would never drink.He sadly choaked on his own vomit in an alcoholic daze at age 45.I remember clearly going into a bar at 17 and asking for a pint of beer the barman asking me what kind of beer.I was so naïve I didn't know there were different kindsBack then two pints and I was wasted.Now 40yrs later I wander how much time alcohol has robbed me of.I can honestly say its a waste of 40 yrs when I could have been so much more productive.There is an old saying .......TOO SOON OLD....AND TO LATE WISE....how true this is, alcohol has never realy made me truly happy it has only kept me from being happy by keeping me numb and destroying my ability to cope with lifes problems.Life has its ups and downs its hills and valleys.I can tell you after over 40 yrs a slave to it it does not help you can use the bottle but next morning your problems are still there only now you have a hangover to go with them.I am no expert and sorry for the ramble but expressing myself here is so very good for me it helps me see things from a different (sober ) perspective.God bless you all at SB

I have to say that if I could go back, knowing what I know now, I wouldn't go anywhere near alcohol. I started drinking late in life (in my 40's) which just goes to show that I had more sense when I was younger. I can honestly say that I regret ever having that first drink.

Congrats on a week sober! It sounds like you're feeling pretty great and it really does just keep getting better.

When I read your post I thought of the saying "Get busy living or get busy dying."

Today, I choose life.

Glad you're here Joleah. :thanks

It's never too late my friend. Some of the strongest members in my AA home group are men and women who had to drink for 30-40 years before they were broken enough to admit they needed help. It sounds as if you have the willingness, which is all you need for a start. I bet there are some amazing stories of recovery right there in Scotland. Rather than regretting all that alcohol has taken from you, be grateful you are still alive and God willing have many years left to share with others. Maybe you could start with an AA meeting today? Don't get mired in regret - we have a saying in my home group: "Yesterday is history and tomorrow is a mystery." We can't change the past - all of us regret what we've done (and not done) while drinking. We can see the wreckage once we stop pouring the booze in our heads. But your alcoholism wants you to feel guilt, which is a sure fire way back to the bottle. The better move is to forget that all happened and focus on NOW. what can you do TODAY that is different than the course you have been on? I would suggest an AA meeting, and get a sponsor. God bless!