Talana

In a couple of days I am going on holidays and
for me holidays have always equalled drinking.
I don't want to drink, but I'm scared that I'll give in to temptation.
My husband drinks and I'm afraid I'll find it very hard to watch
him drink and know I can't.
Does anybody have any tips on how I can make this an alcohol free holiday?

Dee74

Hi Talana

Sounds like a big call.
I would have avoided something like this for a while.

Do you have to go? Can't stay home?

Have you spoken to your husband about this?
Do you have any real life support?

Can you keep logging into SR?

If you must go, the main thing is to not give into the lies that only one won't hurt, or that you can 'start again' after the holidays.

It probably won't be as pleasurable as you'd like, but you can resist and not give in.

Plan ahead as much as you can. Start planning now.

Do other things - do you have kids? spend time with them - make sure you have other things to occupy yourself with in the evenings.

D

Talana

It's like you read my mind when you said, only one won't hurt and tha I can
"start again" after the holiday.
But I know that is only my "demon" tempting me, and I'll be damned if I'll let him beat me.
As for my husband he asks "why should I stop drinking, just because you have a problem?"
I can log in SR anytime and I have a feeling that I'll be logging in a lot during this holiday.
Thank God it's only a mini holiday... 5 days.
I know I can last that long.

least

Log in here as often as you need to, there's always someone around.

Maylie

I would bring a bunch of really good books with me in case I need something to take my mind off a craving. I don't know where you are going, but try to keep your days busy even if it is getting away from the drinking and window shopping or taking walks when you need to get some fresh air and away from the temptation.

Do you have any family or friends that you can have on call if you start to really feel tempted? It helps to be able to pick up the phone and call someone to vent to, gossip/distract you, or just to talk some sense into you.

Many spouses say the "just because you can't drink doesn't mean I can't" thing. The only advice I have for that is try not to be around him when he is drinking and if the smell of it bothers you then one of you sleep on a couch, avoid hugs, and just put some space between you and him when he is drinking.

You can make it through 5 days! It might be tempting at times but this will make you stronger in your recovery. Think about how proud you will be and how empowered you will feel when you get back from your trip and you can say that you made it through a 5 day holiday without drinking! After making it through that, you will know you can resist temptation in any situation

Itsmytime1234

Talana- I know exactly how you feel, Im on day 18 and Saturday I'm leaving for Florida to go to Miami for a week. I am going with a friend who knows I'm trying not to drink, she is not a big drinker but I want her to be able to have a drink if she wants. I'm just going to try to keep in mind that I don't want to ruin the progress that I have made an I keep thinking about how terrible I would feel if I slip up and how just thinking about a hangover gives me anxiety. Take each day of not drinking as a hue success . You can do it!!!

Carlotta

I am on vacation right now with my BFF. I came out and told her I was in recovery and she is completely supportive. I found an AA meeting here and I am having a great time. No desire to drink whatsoever.
I shared about my worrying over vacations on another thread. The thing I did was make sure that I was open and honest with my friend. I told her I was worried about being triggered because she was the only person I drank with in the last few years and I happened to enjoy drinking with her >she is not an alcoholic it was just girls time<. I looked up AA meetings (she had gotten me a schedule
and of course I am still signing in SR daily.
Talk to you husband, have a plan of maintaining sobriety while on holidays and like Dee said, don't fall for the AVs nonsense that if you drink on vacation you can always start over. As alcoholics, every time we pick up a drink we play Russian roulette. Things might work out or we might relapse fully and maybe neveer make it back to recovery.

Dee74

I didn't need to read your mind, I remember my own mind, .

Are you camping?
bring plenty of non alc drinks...and a few jumpers and blankets lol...it's a bit fresh these nights

D

RiverFriend

Hi, Dee and Carlotta beat me to it but I was going to say perhaps you should bring a ton of your favorite non-alcoholic drinks, some sweets, and other healthier indulgences (something I plan for my upcoming holiday)? I too am leaving for vacation on Thursday and my wife still drinks as well though often a beer an evening...I imagine she'll let loose more on this holiday. Perhaps you can find a couple meetings nearby just in case you get really anxious or tempted...it will help knowing where the meetings are before you get to your destination. Best wishes to you and have a fun vacation.

DisplacedGRITS

I haven't heard many alcoholics who drank while on holiday and really enjoyed themselves. And by not many, i mean 0. It may be hard to watch your husband drink but he is right. Perhaps you could ask him to limit his drinking when you're stuck in a situation, like lunch or dinner, where you can't step away for a few. Download the SR app and keep it handy. My husband doesn't drink but there have been a few times where i got stressed while hanging with him and i told him to give me 2 minutes to post to SR. And doggone it, it worked! I've even done it when we've gone out to dinner. Make it clear to him that you intend to stay sober and if you need to take a couple of minutes to clear your head frome time to time, you're going to do it. When you feel tempted, reach out! It is better to come here before you drink than afterwards. You can do it and we can help you!

Talana

A friend suggested I take along non-alcoholic beer and wine.
I have never tried it. Is it a good idea or will the taste of it only encourage me to drink the real thing?

Skyjumper

I am still trying to fight my way back from the "just one won't hurt" that I had a few weeks ago. It's never just one, and it's never better than sober

good luck