Why do people refuse to understand?

Old 05-21-2013, 01:36 AM
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Why do people refuse to understand?

Sometimes it seems like I'm banging my head against the wall when trying to explain about my need to stop drinking. Very simplified, I keep drinking and drinking to excess and making myself ill. I try to cut down but it doesnt work ( or at least for long). It's that simple for me; I keep repeating behaviour that I no longer want to. That is an addiction in my mind. I'm having difficulty getting this through to people in my life.
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Old 05-21-2013, 01:48 AM
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I wish I could answer this for you.

My husband acts like I enjoy being this way. WHO WOULD ENJOY THIS?
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Old 05-21-2013, 01:53 AM
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I'm sorry to hear that people are behaving that way.

Is it that they're just saying "oh no, you're not that bad"? In that case, it may just be that they are nervous about the implications of the word "alcoholic".

If they're pressuring you to drink though... I have no idea. In that case they must not be very healthy themselves.
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Old 05-21-2013, 02:47 AM
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People who don't suffer this way just don't understand.They never will.I gave up trying to get people to understand as it's wasting my energy and resources. I realized I don't have to justify myself to people or explain my behaviour/reasons for stopping drinking. I just say I don't drink anymore for health reasons. Few people push it further or ask for more info,those that do usually have a drink problem themselves. My advice would beto just concentrate on you. If people are trying to push you to drink it might be best to avoid social gatherings or those friends for a while.
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Old 05-21-2013, 03:09 AM
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Not so much this time but when I tried to quit before I found that people in my life were upset that I was spending time at AA meetings and not with them. I think they thought I would quit and that was that. I would suddenly be this warm and fuzzy person that would have all this time and be waiting for them with a batch of fresh baked cookies.

Not only did that not happen but I want back to drinking. I am not blaming them in any way but I do feel that they were used to the old me and the concept of the new sober me was not only scary to me but to them as well.
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Old 05-21-2013, 03:28 AM
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Maybe they have problems themselves?
I never ever tempted anyone with alcohol problems when they told me they needed to cut back or stop, but I did use to try seek out drinking friends who I thought were worse than me to make myself feel less ashamed...
Some of them have done the same to me when I've tried to quit in the past.

I've severed ties with them all... we weren't friends, just drinking buddies.
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Old 05-21-2013, 04:08 AM
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They don't need to understand. And if they don't, despite what you tell them then they're either not your friends, or they have their own problems with alcohol.

Also, if you're trying to get sober yet hanging out with a drinking crows, well... ya might want to rethink that. It's not the most supportive environment for a life of sobriety. If you haven't already started going to meetings you might want to give AA a go.
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Old 05-21-2013, 07:33 AM
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Maybe they are not refusing to understand, maybe they just DON'T understand. It's not their experience and they don't get it.

Good new is that our ability to get and stay sober isn't dependent on any one else understanding it.

It's like "hey, what do you want to be when you grow up?"

I want to be alive, sober, productive, happy and free!
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Old 05-21-2013, 09:34 AM
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Originally Posted by James18 View Post
I'm having difficulty getting this through to people in my life.
Just let it go...
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