Weak
 

well, im here in the midst of horrible anxiety again, I failed a few weeks ago ,i was up to a couple months of sobriety and feeling good but i stupidly thought i could again moderate on a friday nite and saturday nite. My plan was to limit my drinking for the weekend to one bottle and a few beers, good plan if your not a alcoholic . that quickly turned into the usual 3 bottle wekend ,bottle per nite with beer chasers ,about $100 every weekend , followed by excruciating anxiety to start the work week.needless to say im disgusted with myself and want to get back on track , I know i cannot moderate,im a all or nothing drinker , i need to keep it going this time , its so embarassing even posting this ,i feel like a complete failure .
Im not going to do anything different this time , except come to the %100 realization that i cannot ever moderate and if i drink this anxiety is a direct result of my drinking
just getting this off my chest ,im extremely pissed off with myself right now

I too used to go back after quitting for a couple months. I could never pass the 60 day mark because I would foolishly think "well if I could stop for that long I must be fine" In my heart I knew I wasn't but my addiction wanted alcohol and I would rationalize going back. I eventually realized I couldn't do it alone and joined AA. I have more time sober now than I have in a very very long time. Be gentle with yourself. You are here and want to stop. There lies strength in coming back and telling on yourself. And if anxiety is your worst consequence of this relapse, be grateful. It could have been much much worse. And it may be if you do it again. You can start over today :)

sorry for what bought you back but welcome back :)

Not even changing your plans a little for Friday and Saturday nights, Junk?

D