I need some advice about my husband.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 212
I need some advice about my husband.
Hey all. 10 days sober! Yay!
I am starting to have complicated feelings towards my husband and I am confused with these feelings etc...
My husband is a very nice and loving person. But he is very emotionally distant. He is from a Alcholic family and drugs. When I quit drinking, he quit drinking and started to go to alonon. Which I think is awesome.
Here are my issues. The only time He and I have ever expressed our love, talked about life, really talked, was when we were both drunk. I loved those times of us sitting together and really communicating openly. I would love to do that sober, but it seems neither of us can do it sober.
He does not know what to say to me, so he says nothing. Now he sits in front of the TV all night, while I sit outside and listen to music.
I am also worried that me isolating myself and thinking these things is my addict brain setting me up for a relapes. I don't know if I am thinking right or not. Our relationship is starting to irritate me.
I go to AA but not sure who to ask to be my sponsor. I need one bad.
I thought asking for advice here would give me other people's perspective. I don't know? I am wondering if I should go to counseling as well as AA.
Thanks for reading
I am starting to have complicated feelings towards my husband and I am confused with these feelings etc...
My husband is a very nice and loving person. But he is very emotionally distant. He is from a Alcholic family and drugs. When I quit drinking, he quit drinking and started to go to alonon. Which I think is awesome.
Here are my issues. The only time He and I have ever expressed our love, talked about life, really talked, was when we were both drunk. I loved those times of us sitting together and really communicating openly. I would love to do that sober, but it seems neither of us can do it sober.
He does not know what to say to me, so he says nothing. Now he sits in front of the TV all night, while I sit outside and listen to music.
I am also worried that me isolating myself and thinking these things is my addict brain setting me up for a relapes. I don't know if I am thinking right or not. Our relationship is starting to irritate me.
I go to AA but not sure who to ask to be my sponsor. I need one bad.
I thought asking for advice here would give me other people's perspective. I don't know? I am wondering if I should go to counseling as well as AA.
Thanks for reading
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Michigan, USA
Posts: 392
Have you considered couples counselling? Maybe someone who can help the two of you to learn how to talk to each other sober. I don't have this issue because my husband is not a drinker, but I'm sure there are others on here who have similar experiences..?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 212
I have brought up couples counseling many times. Always when we have an argument when I or both of us were drinking. We would make up and forget about it. He is a text book Adult child of alcoholics and I am an alcoholic. Ugh! I guess I am starting to clearly see all the issues that alcohol covered up.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: North East, US
Posts: 2,310
Black bird I too am having a weird switch I'm my relationship with hubby. He says I'm distant distracted..... Therapy would probably be wise. I'm going to wait it out a bit because I am acting differently see how it goes.
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