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Breaking Up With Vodka

Old 05-19-2013, 04:02 PM
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Breaking Up With Vodka

Hi, everyone.

There aren't a lot of people, offline, to whom I can admit this. I'm a professional, somewhat known in my community. I thought my drinking was a bad habit but under control until 10 days ago when I misjudged how much I'd had and passed out on a weeknight. My daughter tried to wake me up so I'd put her to bed, I somehow pocket-dialed a friend, he heard her calling me repeatedly without any response from me, and the next thing I knew, there was a police officer at my door checking to make sure I was all right.

I'm still mortified. My kids are straight-A students, mannerly in public, all the things a mom hopes for. The three of us have been through a lot, and they're surviving. I owe it to them to at least survive, too.

So I'm here. I'll go to an AA meeting the next weekend I don't have my kids. For now, I just wanted to tell someone that yes, I'm an alcoholic, I've broken up with vodka, but so far vodka isn't taking my goodbye very well. Keeps telling me I'll be back, I'll miss him, I can't live without him...geez, now that I've broken up with him, I'm seeing what a dysfunctional relationship it's been! I definitely need a support system to keep me strong and not go back to him.

Thank you to everyone for being here.

-sloefire
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Old 05-19-2013, 04:12 PM
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Welcome Sloefire,
I visit SR at least once a day and along with the 12 step program is paramount in my recovery.
Its fantastic that you realize that alcohol is taking over and you have decided to do something about it.
nearly 2 years sober I can't begin to tell you how much my life has changed for the better.
I took time .
Keep reading and posting.

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Old 05-19-2013, 04:13 PM
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Welcome Sloefire.

Sometimes it helps to think of this like a toxic relationship - yes your ex may still phone, he may sit outside your house in his truck, he may even send you flowers and make you think of the good times

...but you know the reality.

Move on and keep moving on. You're done
There's an amazing amount of support here. I'm glad you found us

D
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Old 05-19-2013, 04:15 PM
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Welcome!!!! So glad you're here!
Tons of support. I'm a mom too doing the same thing as you 41 days now.
Ps
How did the police officer respond?
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Old 05-19-2013, 04:22 PM
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The officer just asked if everyone was all right, and I said yes, we were - at this point we were all in our beds - so he left. Having had the police called out to my house. Wow.

Thanks for the support - it feels so good to be in the company of those who get it, and aren't judging me.
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Old 05-19-2013, 04:46 PM
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Come join our moms club it's in the Newcombers section! Great group of girls to talk about your struggles and achievements
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Old 05-19-2013, 06:13 PM
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I'm so sorry you had to experience that, but maybe it's a blessing if it got you here. Do join the moms group and stay connected here. I have 60 days tomorrow and coming on here every day has helped so much. I too am a professional in my community and a mother, and I know how humiliating it is to be an alcoholic on top of that. Wishing you all the best!
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Old 05-19-2013, 08:30 PM
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I also had an intimate relationship with vodka - drinking straight vodka daily to the point of blacking out/passing out/puking every single day after work. I stopped a few months ago and all I have to say is, no matter how you may feel about it right now, we do not need vodka in our lives...!
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Old 05-19-2013, 08:35 PM
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Hi sloefire. We're so glad you joined us.

I agree - not being alone anymore made all the difference to me. No one else in my life understood what I was going through. I was able to get sober and heal thanks to the great support and encouragement I found here. I hope you'll feel the same.
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Old 05-19-2013, 08:47 PM
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Ah yes, passing out.

I passed out on my Lawnmower 2 weeks ago. Next to a main Highway!

We drunks are a fun bunch aren't we?


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Old 05-19-2013, 09:05 PM
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Keeps telling me I'll be back, I'll miss him, I can't live without him...geez, now that I've broken up with him, I'm seeing what a dysfunctional relationship it's been!
I like the idea of 'breaking up' with vodka, because I framed my sobriety in exactly the same way. I described what I did along exactly those lines in another thread. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ined-long.html
Maybe what I did can help you. Believe in yourself, and that you deserve to be the person you know you are. Best to you, Sloefire, and keep posting.
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Old 05-22-2013, 11:20 AM
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Thank you for sharing that! It does help. I'm reading posts here as I can, trying to get all the information I can. I did have a strange trigger for a craving last night, when I reached for a plastic Solo cup. Just the association of how often I had vodka and Coke in one, I guess. Thankfully, I wasn't free to run to the drive-thru, and eventually the craving passed. Whew.

I've been reading the moms thread and will post at my next opportunity. Boy, it's a relief to hear from women in similar situations. My inner critic has toned it down, just a notch.
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Old 05-22-2013, 11:29 AM
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I am another mom with 12 days sober. I come here all the time and go to AA. Keep posting and join tje mom group. Glad you're here! :-)
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Old 05-22-2013, 01:47 PM
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Welcome sloefire! I, too, have an unhealthy relationship with vodka and am trying to do something about it.
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Old 05-22-2013, 01:52 PM
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I found embracing sobriety like breaking up with a dear friend (beer in my case). But over time sobriety has become the dear friend and I see more clearly how bad the alcohol was for me.

I can relate to the "breaking up" analogy - as that is what it felt like to me too. But sobriety is a much better friend, once you get to know each other well
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