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Old 05-17-2004, 04:56 PM
  # 61 (permalink)  
Jon
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We're here Jay. Right here with you...
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Old 05-17-2004, 04:58 PM
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We'll be right here Jay, check in if you feel up to it!
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Old 05-17-2004, 05:00 PM
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Thanks all
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Old 05-17-2004, 05:03 PM
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(((((((((((((((((huggys J)))))))))), your doing great! if your still typing or reading on the computer that means your still alive! Wow your remarkable going to work and all in your condition! I'm glad you have your friend with you!
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Old 05-17-2004, 09:23 PM
  # 65 (permalink)  
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(((((jay)))))

You can do this, trust me I am there with you. I am cold turkey for three days now after 20 years and a recent two week self-pity bender of two cases of beer or more a day and could hold it down. I know it is scary as hell but I am there with you. You will make it and things will get better as long as you dont pick up another drink. Like everyone said, if you see any of the really, really bad signs get to the hospital but whatever you do, if you take a drink, make it water.
Your Partner in Pain,
Roy
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Old 05-17-2004, 09:38 PM
  # 66 (permalink)  
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Its Roy

Originally Posted by jayzuma
I have been watching in horror what Roy is going through and I dont mind
saying Im scared to death. I have the things he's talking about and I have not even quit yet! Also,Im having a pretty good day today(mild in comparison to bad days) but I still lost it in sorrow of what he's going through and what I am about to go through. I was going to post something on his thread but there is nothing I can say that will help him.
Im just horrified right now!
---J
Jay,
I am so sorry that my situation has seemed to be more of a hurt than a help. It is a scary thing and one to be taken very seriously. I will tell you that I just finished day three and am 30 minutes into day four and the shakes are subsiding, I can see clearly, type about 60 wpm, concentrate, eat and I think I may even get some sleep tonight. I made it through the workday without a hitch and actually felt comfortable driving today. I have a headache and slight shakiness but that is about it. There is light on the other side and I am living proof. I just did it my way and never meant to scare anyone but actually it is good that I did. Now you see the seriousness of the options that you are facing but I am getting well and almost over that stuff never to go back. I journal this so that someday if I am dumb enough to think that I can take a drink, I can read back and remember the fear and horror that I went through. I meant for it to be a good thing only and I really needed the support. But see, I am here typing faster than most typists and doing fine. You will get there too, I am sure of it and life is so much better on the sober side, shakes and all!!
Prayers and Hugs,
Roy
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Old 05-17-2004, 09:43 PM
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Forgot Something

Almost forgot, I switched my mouse from two handed back to one and now back to the digital pencil. I was there too, I would go through that whether I had a drink in my hand or not, that is why I knew I had to quit. I just reached out here..and got it. You will and are too. You are the strong one here!
Keep Coming Back,
Roy
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Old 05-18-2004, 08:59 AM
  # 68 (permalink)  
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"It's been a hard days night"

"But when I come home to you and all the things that you do"
I still feel like crap!
Thanks all for your support. Roy,your experience helped me quite a bit.
At least I have a shread of hope I may not die.
Made it 24. Well, actually 28 hours,21 minutes and 27 seconds. I have counted each one. Last night has horrable.
1. My contact with a doctor never came through.
2. My friends advice was maybe you should just try and cut down.
3. My wifes advice was,why dont you just have a couple glasses of wine and try and relax.
4. To top it all off I could not get onto the website last night. My computer at home kept crashing. I was very,very alone last night. I guess I didnt realize how much streangth I was gaining from this site. I couldnt wait to log in so I came over to my parents house.
The other thing that slipped was I forgot the construction people were coming over to work on the house. Bang,Bang,Bang.
Im made all these plans. Someone from NA told me long ago
"we make plans,God laughs" Oh man.
Anyway I dont feel all that better yet but it's nice that it's daytime. The night was so long. Have not slept,could not sleep. Roy,Im now very familiar
with the second hand.
Pray for me people. I dont know when I can get back on.
I have a Dr's appoint in a few. I just got a little scared last night and want someone to listen to my heart cause it's working pretty hard right now

Later----J
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Old 05-18-2004, 09:06 AM
  # 69 (permalink)  
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Congratulations may sound like an empty word right now Jay.
But I'll say it anyway. The reaction of your friend and your wife smells a lot like enabling behavior to me. Looks like you're aware of that though.
Jay, the first night is the hardest, and you've made it to the other side. I'm sorry you couldn't get in here last night.
You have to know by now that many folk were thinking about you.
Good luck with the doctor. Be straight and up front and honest. No matter the outcome, you will gain something.
Keep posting my friend.
And as Roy suggests, you are the strong one here...
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Old 05-18-2004, 09:09 AM
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Your doing great Jay, try to stay busy if you can, read, journal, sit outside and try to relax, keep those fluids going, try to eat bananas if you can. Try to eat as many fresh veggies and fruits as you can. Try to eat a lot of protein at night to help with the sleep.

You can do this my friend, we're rooting you on!
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Old 05-18-2004, 09:20 AM
  # 71 (permalink)  
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Huray, you made it through day one! (((((((((huggys))))))))). I hope the doctors visit was a good one! Hang on to us as much as you need too! Drinking milk always calms me down,turkey has natural stuff in it to make you sleepy and ofcourse the herble teas. (personaly I think the taste of the teas are gross,but they do the job). If you need candy,get a bag that also helps! Keep us posted if you can.
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Old 05-18-2004, 11:17 AM
  # 72 (permalink)  
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Hey Jay,
You're doing good. You can do this. We're all here rooting for you!!!
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Old 05-18-2004, 11:24 AM
  # 73 (permalink)  
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Hang in there Jay! Youre doing good. Hope the doctor went well. Youre in my prayers.

Heather
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Old 05-18-2004, 02:28 PM
  # 74 (permalink)  
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Day 2 halfway through

Thanks so much for all the posts. Even though I could not get online I knew they were there. I was able to draw strength from that.
33hrs and I do not feel any relief. W wierd thing happend last night though. About 3am I had a 10 minute period where I actually started to relax. I thought maybe it was over and then at 3:10am it hit full fource 2x worse that what had previously felt. Oh man. I think I deserve an acadamy award for my acting abilities. See, no one around me really understands whats happening. So I have had to deal with the contractors,entertain my guest and just try and act normal. With my head aching,my stomach churning,sweating(Roy,how true about this foul odor. This aint no normal sweat.) and tonight I have to BBQ for the guests. It's not exaclty what I had plannned but It's keeping me miserably occupied. The dr's visit was quite an experience. It was 180 degree turn around for when I asked for help 3 weeks ago. He was actually very concerned.
Well I'll have to update more later.... Am being called away to do(sigh) no chores. Im starting to get pissed---
j
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Old 05-18-2004, 02:36 PM
  # 75 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by jayzuma
Im starting to get pissed---
j
Pissed off is good Jay!
I know what you mean by that oh so brief 10 minutes in the middle of the night. And as I remember it, when that elusive feeling of relaxation went away again, my desperation just increased. Like bubbles of sadness overcoming you all of a sudden. Who would want to experience that again? You're showing big strength Jay.
Good news about the new doctor.
Keep posting.
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Old 05-18-2004, 03:49 PM
  # 76 (permalink)  
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Managed to fic my pc. it only took me all night and all morning. My troublr shooting skills are a bit dull. The Dr spent alot of time with me and did a pretty intensive check. He tried to talk me into going to ER but I sadi no. So he told me he had no choice but togive me some medication and to come in 3 times a week. The pills are helping a little but not as much as I thought they would.
But I think now I got the system down in the medical profession. You cant get help from just knocking on deaths door. You have to getting ready to open it.
If there was something they could have given me to make last night easier,well no, maybe I needed to go through that to learn.
Im not sure getting angry is good for me. I dont really have any coping skills for this. The past 20 yrs drinkiing was the only coping skill I needed.
With all this time to think while my brain is going 1000 mph but stil not able to grab a whole lot of it, I am seeing the road ahead and am now starting to get scared on the things I see around me that will have to change if I am going to succeed. But Im trying not to get ahead of myself. It's taking everything I got to just get through this. I cant tell you how many things are hurting right now on so many different levels,but then again,I dont have to.You already know.
Im really starting to battle depression this afternoon. I cant quite put my finger on it. It feels kind of like a grieving. Not only to what I am giving up but of the things I may have to gdo and give to see this through. I know this sounds crazy but when I get through this it feels like Im going to look back and think this was the easy part. But to be able to "stand and be true"
Thats accomplishment seems impossable to me right know.
I know Im babbling but I dont know what esle to do. This is my only outlet right now. Im struggling with so mny physical AND mental crap right now I need to be very careful. I keep. Crap I need to shut up for a while.
Thank you for alll the support. I'll be back. I was going to re-read this to correct all the spelling errors I made but if I do that i'll erase 90% of what I just wrote. I think Im going to want to reference this at another time.
You people are never ceasing to amaze me.
I was just looking to the smilies at the right hoping I could use one. But I just dont have much of a sense of humor right now.
Adios for now
--J
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Old 05-18-2004, 03:56 PM
  # 77 (permalink)  
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:laugh2:
How's that?
Your emotions and thinking are skewed at the moment, hence the feelings of depression seem a lot more intense.
Easy does it.
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Old 05-18-2004, 04:52 PM
  # 78 (permalink)  
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Jay,
Congrats man. I need to prepare you for something else also. That is feeling better and worse at the same time. I am over the detox now and slept last night. No shakes...nada. With that said, when you get to that point all the things that you were managing to deal with when drinking will hit all at once. You think you are pissed now, better get a straight jacket and pad some of the walls. I am not talking agitated or bothered, I am talking stress that would make a chichua a pissed off pit bull. Nobody wants to be around me or even near me right now as I have chewed both my wife and daughter out. I am talking red-faced, spitting, crazy man. I am a top exec in a fast growing company so you can imagine what it takes just to retain some composure there. My relapse was caused by a SERIOUS family situation here at home that I could not deal with. That pain is hitting me square in the face and I do not have an outlet for that either. I am the John Wayne type. Not because I choose to be but that is just how I am so instead of tears, there is pure anger. Trust me man, what you are going through right now is easier than what remains ahead. Hang in there man, I need to go kick something.
Roy
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Old 05-18-2004, 06:55 PM
  # 79 (permalink)  
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Roy, that is so freakin' bang on!
Oh yeah, you're comin' out the other side all right...
Kick at the darkness... It rarely kicks back!
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Old 05-19-2004, 12:09 AM
  # 80 (permalink)  
Jon
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How ya doing Jay???

Keep sharing with us...NO MATTER WHAT.
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