Thank you everyone for your help. Again, this is quite a site.
Dan,Thanks for all your help and advice. I am married but actually no one knows that I am going through this. I have been very creative both at work and at home in hiding this. There are many ways to disguise the symptoms. If I put as much energy into quiting as I do hiding,well,you know.
No one notices because Im not a mean drunk. People do not even know that I am blasted cause at that point I just pass out in bed. My in-laws were both alcoholics so living with someone who drinks every day just fits the dysfunction. I work from 5:30Am to 5:30Pm so by the time I get home Im so exhausted from trying to crawl my way through the day I look to drinking almost as my savior. Boy that justs sounds so insane. I will try Dan,It's just I dont really believe Im strong enough to pull through this.I think Im finally realizing I have gotten my ass kicked beyond repair.
We'll see. This is really difficult just typing these emotions. I have to hide at my desk to keep people from seeing the tears.Im not sure I could ever talk to someone like this face to face.
Again,everyone, thank you.
Im not sure I'll get back on today so I wish you all well.

As long as you have a breath left in you, you are not beyond repair.
Godspeed to you.

J - it sounds like you're FEELING your feelings for the first time in a long time - it's scary, it sucks, it DOES get better/easier!!
the best thing i can recommend is AA - no one will judge you there! 99% of the people in those meetings are going to be able to totally relate to what you are going thru and all of the awful feelings and they can help yo get thru this - it's not easy, but it's worth it!!!!

very best wishes!
B.

How's it going jay?

Jay,

I'm sure it's been mentioned, but detox from alcohol is the most dangerous of all. I am in SoCal, and if if you want some outpatient detox refrerrals, please PM me...

Dan,
Im doing the same. Just trying to struggle through another day with the feeling "crawling out of my skin" sounds appropriate. I have decided to try and quit Monday. Why? After I work Mon I have 6 days off. If anything bad happens it will happen at home. I have alot of things happening in my personal life next week so It's going to be interesting if I can pull this off. I have almost given up on Dr's. More later-J

jay...check your PM's ASAP.

Mornin' jay!
Cool then. Gives you the weekend to prepare a bit.
Just remember about the possible dangers associated with alcohol withdrawal.
Jon could give you some great advice I think.
Why don't you drop him a line...
Just click his name and then click the private message feature.
And keep posting!
I'm glad you're back today!

Thanks Dan,
I just PM'd Jon.Got some good info. I asked him this as well, Does anyone on this site ever sleep?
Got to work,back later
----J

He he! Place is open 24/7!
Good news jay. :headbang: Thanks.

question?
 

I know this isnt a medical site but I was wondering if anyone knows the asnwer to this(Im sure someone does)
After my emotional swings yesterday I started really looking at my physical situation. Im 43,drinking heavily for over 20yrs and now,as you know,having a terrible time with withdrawal. The last few months I have really started swelling up. My legs,feet and now more recently my hands anf face as well.
I told my MD about this at the same time I told him about my drinking.
He did not address it. Just said go see a psychiatrist.
Anyone have any info on this?
Thanks
--J

Jay, swelling and puffiness are sure signs that something is wrong.
You have to get a full medical work up in my opinion. The whole nine yards you know. Establish a baseline. Get your liver checked out. Prolongued use of alcohol has devastating effects in many unseen ways.
Only a qualified medical expert can help you with this Jay.
You're worth the peace of mind it will bring you, both in eliminating some worries and enabling you to address what has to be looked at.
Keep posting!

Thanks Dan

No worries Jay!
Plenty of us here pulling for you!

I have been watching in horror what Roy is going through and I dont mind
saying Im scared to death. I have the things he's talking about and I have not even quit yet! Also,Im having a pretty good day today(mild in comparison to bad days) but I still lost it in sorrow of what he's going through and what I am about to go through. I was going to post something on his thread but there is nothing I can say that will help him.
Im just horrified right now!
---J

((jay)) Glad you are havin a better day today ! I was readin your post and Im thinkin perhaps a check up with the Doc would be a good idea.Still holdin on to those numbers?I am sure roy wouldnt mind hearin from you..prayers :angel2:

Well, It's the time of day the cravings are starting to go full speed.
I've wept a couple of times today but not near the roller coaster I was on yesterday. I'ts almost like I've desensitized myself.I dont want to do that right know. Thinking back on the last couple of weeks, I told my MD(no help) about my problem,I told a Psychiatrist(no help) about it and 2 days ago I come across this amazing website suggesting I am NOT the only poor slob to go through this and their could be hope. Im just still having a hard time believing I can do it. Im scared! Still scared of drinking and of not drinking.
Ive probably said this earlier but I just dont know what it is like not to be drunk.I've somhow managed to survive in the working world(sort of) with moderate success.(I'll explain that if I make it through this).
Anyway,Im just talking because I dont want to lose the momentum I started from yesterday. Whether I make it or not come Monday I think Im going to need everything I can muster up!
---J

Hi Jay,

I'm pulling for you Jay. I know it will be hard, but it will be so worth it. I understand your disappointment with drs, but keep in mind, you may need help with this withdrawl. That said, you can do this. Rest, drink a lot of water and juice, take multi-vitamins - those things will help. We're here to support you through this, so keep posting!

Love, Anna

Momentum. In this lies the key to success for some of us. That, and realistic, attainable goals. You didn't get here overnight. Keep that in mind when that "oh my god, no booze for the rest of my life" thought hits you. This disease is kept in check in 24 hour increments.
Keep posting!

Thanks Dan. Im almost through for the day. It's that time when I cant concentrate on anything anymore. Cant focus,can barely walk much less type actually.I have seen in quite a few postings that people before they try and stop actually drink very heavily the day or two before. Im going to really try not to do that. I know tapering off doesnt work(tried it,about a milloin times) but maybe if I can slow down a little it will make it easier(or not).
I usually do not go online at all on Sundays so I have not decided if I will tomorrow or not. If not, thank you everone who talked to me the last two days and I will be back on Monday.Hopefully day1.
Thanks
--J :headbang: I havent used these before but I think it might also be
addictive.