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Associations with your drug

Old 05-17-2013, 07:45 PM
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Associations with your drug

It becomes really hard to quit drinking for me when I realise how much my drinking is associated with so many things I do. I start to think, "How will I meet people, meet and talk to girls, go to concerts, dance, be intimate/sexual etc. without booze?"

It's scary realising how dependant I am on this substance.

Do any other newcomers share similar worrys?

Also, for those of you who have sustained a substantial length of time sober, how have you dealt with this challenge?
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Old 05-17-2013, 08:21 PM
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I only have 30 days right now, but in the past I have had 2 different stretches of 7 years sober. I had the same concerns as you do (not so much this time because I isolated myself and had no life). At first I had to JUST NOT DRINK no matter what and have faith in fellow alcoholics who were sober and told me life got better, not worse after getting sober. After a few months I started to experience this for myself. You might ask..."why did you start drinking again if life was so much better?" The answer is because I have the disease of alcoholism and I stopped treating my disease.

BTW of all the things that you listed that got much better after getting sober was sex.

Edited to add that some of the happiest times in my life were during those long stretches of sobriety.
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Old 05-17-2013, 08:31 PM
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"How will I meet people, meet and talk to girls, go to concerts, dance, be intimate/sexual etc. without booze?"
I think everyone has these fears.

I can only tell you...I just did.
Life continues on, we learn new ways to do things, and deal with things.

It all works out ok

D
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Old 05-17-2013, 09:45 PM
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Just take it one event at a time. You'll get used to doing things sober and it will be nice to remember everything you did too, and not wake up feeling awful.
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Old 05-17-2013, 10:17 PM
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I am scared of this too. Even though my relapse went on for less than 12 months, I feel like I've never done anything not high. Everything is associated with being high for me because I did everything high
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Old 05-17-2013, 10:32 PM
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Hi Woozy,
Thanks for postin & welcome...ironic you asked about being intimate in sobriety. I chaired 12:30pm open disc mtg @ home group & got whole new meaning of open disc! lol A girl visiting GA from Jersey was sharing how the 9th step promises were being realized in her life & she never fathomed "sober sex" till now...of course room roared in laughter & after she finished I chimed in & said twas hard to comprehend it too but mine's by default which is another story for different day!
Easy does it; don't try to get & undstd evthg all @ once ie trying to work steps, new friendships or intimacies, trying to stay sober etc. U'll become overwhelmed & go right back to the bottle. Concentrate right now on u're sobriety in the 1st yr then after that u'll have gotten a hold on managing u're life before getting on another
Best wishes
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Old 05-17-2013, 10:44 PM
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((Woozy)) - though alcohol wasn't my "thing", crack was, I did go through a lot of the same emotions. In crackland, a "dime" is a piece of crack. I worked in a restaurant, waiting tables and also cashier and whenever someone would mention a "dime" Well, you can guess what my mind went to

My ex bf, who was also a crack addict, used to sing me old songs. Well, the restaurant I worked in had a radio station with a lot of the same songs. Yes, it took me back, there were times I had to fight back tears.

Guess what? As time went by? Those feelings just went away. The more time I put between me and my using days, well...they just stopped affecting me.

I do feel that alcohol is harder, as it's everywhere...it's legal. On the other hand, I went into stores that sold crack pipes, saw dealers outside (I can still spot them a mile away) and it doesn't bother me. If anything, I'm grateful I'm no longer a slave to any substance that makes me do really stupid stuff

Hugs and prayers,

Amy
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Old 05-17-2013, 10:54 PM
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I was scared too. But after the first month, meeting people and going to social events became a lot easier... as has flirting. Also, I no longer look like a drunk, so that helps a lot in that department. Sober sex is not something I'm attempting just yet, but based on my experiences with everything else, it's going to be awesome.

At least in my case, I think I really underestimated how self-conscious I was about my drinking problem. So yeah, the first few times going to parties or out dancing felt weird... but then once I got accustomed to being sober, I realized that not having to worry about whether I was too drunk means that I am actually far more confident. And this confidence survives into the next day, which is also new.
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Old 05-18-2013, 12:32 AM
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I twinge everytime I drive by a paraphernalia shop, or a medicinal marijuana clinic. There is certain music I choose not to listen to anymore, and old tv shows.

Im a pothead, but I haven't had a roll of aluminum foil in my house since January, and avoid that aisle of the store like the plague, but that is a codependent trigger, different, and yet the same in so many ways.
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Old 05-18-2013, 12:58 AM
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This subject really Scares me...I think the only things I do sober is work and gym...I tend to relapse when I have an event which is anything lol plus summer is coming home....I have no idea how I am going to get through it but I really want too
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