1924

my 21 year old daughter is currently in jail for a year for a hit and run DUI. Now originally I was hoping that a year away from alcohol would be away to help her stop since obviously in jail you won't have alcohol and the fact she is being punished will make her realize the punishment you get for doing this, but I hear that is not enough and she will likely continue drinking when she gets out. What other ways could you possibly help someone? I understand she is an adult and she can make her own choices but I feel like I cannot sit back and do nothing.

AnonK

...that you attend an Al-Anon meeting?

You are not going to be able to change your daughter. She is going to have to want to change herself and stop drinking on her own.

You can, however, get support. It's hard to sit back and watch someone you care about suffer, I know. Al-Anon can help you sort through your feelings. It's a network of people who understand the range of emotions that come with being the loved one of an alcoholic.

sparky78

First of all, get help for yourself. This is a family disease and everyone is affected. There is a family and friends forums on here to start.

She needs support, I highly recommend continuing treatment when she gets out, such as outpatient rehab, couseling, etc. A year in jail tends to so do one of 2 things to ppl: 1. straighten them out scared or 2. want to make up for lost time via partying.

The longer the treatment, the better. I am just a few days shy of 6 months alochol free and I am still in a program! Started out in intensive outpatient for 6 weeks, and then went to a once a week Relapse Prevention program followed up a alumni program. While this seems like a lot, it ups the chance of success. I am also in AA and have done individual and group counseling on other issues (being a victim of domestic abuse) I have that contribute to my drinking. Good luck!

deeker

Try not to project. She is safe there for now. She may have a real spiritual awakening in jail and she will have a lot of time to think about what she has done. You really have no idea what God may be doing in her heart and she may come out and really be motivated to stay stopped. Just pray for her and don't let it steal your peace for now. Either way you are not responsible for her decisions and make sure you let her know that when she gets out. God Bless!

Joe Nerv

Just want to add my $.02 and give an additional push for alanon. More parents ruin their own lives and hurt their children even more by doing what their emotions tell them is the right thing. Alcohol is way more sinister and powerful than people imagine, and well... the best thing you can do for yourself and her while she's in jail is be with people who've been where you are. Sorry about your situation, but there really isn't much you can do right now aside from getting yourself help in dealing with it.