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Not sure if I even need to be here

Old 05-16-2013, 12:07 PM
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Not sure if I even need to be here

I really don't know if I have a problem or not. But the fact that I'm thinking about it must mean something.
I'm in my 30s and have been a drinker for my entire adult life. I've always been way more enthusiatic about alcohol that anyone else I know, and for the past few years have had a few drinks every evening. In recent months though, I found I couldn't wait till evening. So I would start drinking at 5pm, then 4pm, and now the cravings come on at lunch time. I have withdrawal symptoms by 2pm. I have been getting through several bottles of vodka a week and am beginning to notice I have times I can't even remember. I drink and feel much better, but wake up ashamed of myself the next day, swear I'm not going to drink, then of course I do. I'm a mother of small children and I have no excuse for this kind of behavior. Not sure what to do next.
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Old 05-16-2013, 12:11 PM
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Welcome

I started out unsure just like you. Read some posts and just check it out for a while and see what you think. You might relate.
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Old 05-16-2013, 12:11 PM
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No one here can tell you if you are an alcoholic or not NewPage, but you certainly have some of the red flags that signify a problem with drinking. I was similar to you in that I was a very "enthusiastic" social drinker but in the last couple years I started drinking way more at home and was having the start of some physical issues as well related to the drinking.

As far as what to do next, you need to decide if you think alcohol is a problem for you or not. That's the first and most important step. If you decide that it is, then you need to quit. SR is a great place to find info and support for both, so read a lot and ask lots of questions. Your life may depend on it!
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Old 05-16-2013, 12:20 PM
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Thank you both for replying. If I'm honest with myself I know there's a problem. I don't know if I'm a full blown alcoholic but my habits are not healthy, that's for sure. For instance, I start worrying if I'll have enough alcohol to last the day. And I've also begun hiding alcohol in my purse if I'm going out somewhere that doesn't have alcohol. That is not normal person behavior. I feel guilty and want to help myself but at the same time I want to be left alone with it. I don't know how to cope with life without alcohol.
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Old 05-16-2013, 12:26 PM
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Have you ever tried to go without alcohol for any period of time? Hiding and obsessing about having enough to last are also red flags. But we have all had them here and there is no shame whatsoever in admitting you do. The biggest key is you need to decide to make a change, and WANT that change to happen. There are also many places you can get local help like AA/Smart/etc.. Some just use SR here as their support. Others use therapy, in or outpatient treatment, etc.. Bottom line you just need to decide if you want to quit and then make a plan to do it. And we can help.
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Old 05-16-2013, 12:29 PM
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A newpage! Everything you posted sounded like me. I am also a mommy to two girl. It has been 38 days no drinking for me. Try 3 and see how it goes. Here is a link to my story

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ommaholic.html

I wish you the very best if luck
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Old 05-16-2013, 12:30 PM
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Talking Do I belong here

I have that thought many times myself. I find that a glance in my rear view mirror provides my answer.
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Old 05-16-2013, 12:51 PM
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"If I'm honest with myself I know there's a problem. I don't know if I'm a full blown alcoholic but my habits are not healthy, that's for sure."

Well admitting is the first step. I am not sure why you want to wait to be a "full blown alcoholic", actually if the disease concept is correct and you are an alcoholic then you would already be "full blown". I have found that it's like being a little pregnant you either are or you aren't. Only you can diagnose your alcoholism
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Old 05-16-2013, 01:00 PM
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Originally Posted by anewpage View Post
Thank you both for replying. If I'm honest with myself I know there's a problem. I don't know if I'm a full blown alcoholic but my habits are not healthy, that's for sure. For instance, I start worrying if I'll have enough alcohol to last the day. And I've also begun hiding alcohol in my purse if I'm going out somewhere that doesn't have alcohol. That is not normal person behavior. I feel guilty and want to help myself but at the same time I want to be left alone with it. I don't know how to cope with life without alcohol.
I thought that I could not live without Alcohol. Then I was in a situation where there was no other choice but to ban the substance from my life. I always worried if there was going to be alcohol at events, friends, family members, etc. I can only look back on it, and see that my thinking was clouded, and I was in the trenches digging myself into a huge hole.
Guilt comes with the territory. You can be free of this guilt, and be free from alcohol. Life can take on a whole new meaning, and you can gain a new perspective. One day at a time is how everyone does it. I know that this is a process. We are here for you. The support on this site is amazing.
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Old 05-16-2013, 01:38 PM
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I understand how you feel. I'm 30 with kids as well. It does sound like you have a problem but you are here so that means you are beginning to notice and want to take the steps to fix it. Way to go! I wish you the best of luck in your choices.
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Old 05-16-2013, 01:44 PM
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Only you know deep down if you are an alcoholic. From what you describe, you are certainly abusing alcohol.

Experiencing any sort of withdrawal is a VERY bad sign.

A good way to find out if you have a problem is to just stop, if you can't... there's your answer.

The sooner you can break through denial, the sooner things will get better. Everyone here gets what your going through and if you come to the conclusion that you have a problem, we'll be here to help.

Welcome anewpage!
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Old 05-16-2013, 02:23 PM
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For me, a line was crossed when the physical symptoms of withdrawal began to manifest themselves. I went from being a heavy drinker to being an alcoholic.

anewpage, alcoholism is a progressive disease. If you continue drinking the result will never get better, only worse. Remember, you do not need to lose a job, end up in jail, or destroy your life to finally realize you should make a change. You have an important decision to make. Welcome to SR! You will find a lot of information and support here.
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Old 05-16-2013, 02:25 PM
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Yup, that's how my disease progressed too... Then it got worse. I feel so much better living sober. It wasn't easy to give up my crutch but the rewards I am feeling now are awesome. You're in the right place
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Old 05-16-2013, 02:34 PM
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Welcome to SR-you're @ the right place @ the right time. Based on your posting that you're not sure if should be here or not, its very tellin that u mentioned u're kids. So that means(if I'm not wrong) u do realize u have a prob w/ alc & don't want it to affect u're kids. However, only u can make that call. No 1 is here to judge or criticize u coz that accomplishes zero. We offer our experience, strength & hope for our maladies every day.
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Old 05-16-2013, 02:38 PM
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Hi I'm new to this forum thingy as well.

You will find everyone on SR is helpful and supportive.

I joined on Monday after finally admitting that I did have a problem.

Give it a go the support, help and information that is here on SR has helped me get to 3 days so far.

Remember its only one day at a time and the only drink you cant have is the first one.
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Old 05-16-2013, 02:48 PM
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I don't think it matters what you call yourself, if drinking is interfering with you living your life the way you truly want, you should probably stop drinking. If you find that difficult to do you might want to try a program of recovery (I like SMART, Rational Recovery, Alan Carr's Easy Way and Life Ring). AA is a good fit for others.

It is a good thing that you are addressing this early before there isn't any doubt if you are a alcoholic or not.
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Old 05-16-2013, 03:25 PM
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Hi anewpage,

If you are unsure then perhaps the best first step is to try moderating your drinking to a level you feel is reasonable, healthy, and risk free. If you can do that then great, but if you can't then you probably need to join the club of us for whom total abstinence is the only solution. But I can honestly say that I now love sobriety so much that I wouldn't want to drink moderately anyway, though that was not how I felt when I gave up.
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Old 05-16-2013, 03:31 PM
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If it's worrying you, then it's a problem, no matter what it's called. Best to stop completely. Try living sober for six months and see how you feel. Give yourself a chance to get recovered from drinking and get your health back.

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Old 05-16-2013, 03:37 PM
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Yes, you belong here. Welcome!
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Old 05-16-2013, 03:48 PM
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Don't worry about the A word. You are definitely in the right place.

Now, what's the game plan?
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