Jennieric

I feel a lot better than the first few days....just don't know how I am going to feel going forward! I can't sleep!!!!!!!!! I want to soooo bad!!!! The pain is unreal!!!!!! I will keep going, I have too. I' ve read that a lot of people expirence back with withdrawal. Did this happen to you? If so how long? I hope things get better for you today. I just got home from a ml walk....hope it works! Stay strong

SNST

Ive been hurting pretty bad too, I actually had a dream last night that I was at an old friends house an my back was hurting so bad ( which it really was when I woke up ) She said I have a perc you can have! I woke up before I took it. So those damn pills are even invading my dreams! I havent had a problem sleeping for awhile Thank God, but I havent had much energy the past couple days an the cravings have been pretty bad too. Ive read here that this does happen for quit some time, Im wondering too how long before it stops. I thought everything would be fine by this time but its not. Like I was saying though its not anywhere near as bad as it was the first week so I have to keep saying to myself " a week of those horrible w/ds are not worth taking a pill just to feel good for a few hours " Im not where I wanna be but Thank God Im not where I was! It sounds like the pain is your biggest problem right now? Maybe you need the doc to try you on something non narcotic to help with that? I hope you start feeling better. We have came to far to mess up now, what a waste it would be to put ourselves through this just to use again

Jennieric

I have researched all kinds of non narcs....seems like they have worse withdrawals than the narcs. Unless its just Advil or Tylenol.....that's what I am taking now. I am going to my doctor tomorrow for my ambian but I will not get pain pills. Been there done that, that's what got me here! I am staying strong for the most part....I just really need to sleep. There is no escape from the pain. Thanks for the encouraging words!!! I am still not smoking that is amazing in itself!!

joygirl

Hey! You guys are doing great! What you are experiencing is part of the course of withdrawal. Just hold on! It does pass, you will sleep. The pain is normal, it will ease. The dreams of using, I had them too. The physical symptoms will be slowly easing up in the next week or so, although everyone is different. Make sure you are getting calories. Your body is mending and needs them. Our brains take longer. I suggest google and read about PAWS (post acute withdrawal syndrome). I'm glad I did, because it helped me understand what was happening to me and why. Then I wasn't so scared. But I have been impatient at times! I have been in your shoes and I know what you're going through. It does get better!!! Just don't take another pill, no matter what. It really will not help and you know it!

SNST

Thanks Joy! Ive heard about PAWS but wasnt really sure what it meant, Im going to look that up now. Jenn you are a bigger person then I am, I can only tackle one addiction at a time, I know I would be a complete wreck right now if I tried giving up smoking too! Great job! Im proud of you!!

Jennieric

I am out of my mind! The pain has eased, cravings are stronger, brain is a wreck! I just want to sleep. I have not had any caffeine or stimulates at all. I am walking everyday and staying busy all day. I am not going to the doctor tomorrow so no fear of that either. It's next week! I will stay strong and hope you will too!!! Things will be better tomorrow and I know this because it gets a little better everyday! Soon to be day 10!!!! Yay!!!!!!

SNST

Yes tomorrow will be better! I hope you get some sleep tonight Jenn. Were gonna get through this madness!! We cant let ourselves get discouraged we have came to far

Jennieric

Day10! I can't believe it has only been 10 days but then I can't believe I made it 10 days!! I wish it felt good.....to be honest ,so far it has been hell! Am I proud of my self? Of course! Am I going to stay drug free? Hell yes!!!
I will never go through this again! Schizophrenic conversations in my head all day...never again.
Sorry to whine so much but it's not easy....nothing about drugs is easy. Trying to get them opposed to trying to stay away from them.
Everyone stay strong!!! It will take everything you have.....but it did already anyway!

Jennieric

I slept!!!!!!!

Midlifecrisis

Great!!

Amalthea

Hi jenn I feel your pain. I just relapsed after seven days off. It felt good for a day but now Im so sickened by my weakness and afraid to start detox again. Don't go back its not worth it. I too wonder if its worth it, wonder if life will really be better without pills. Right now I cant imagine that it will, but I do know life really sucks on them. Its not life at all.

SNST

Good for you Jenn!!! & Congrats on day 10!! Now that you finally slept, I bet you wont have many restless nights from now on, of course there will be some but thats normal for anyone. I had a very restless night last night but only because of a cough thats making me crazy, other than that I havent been having a problem sleeping for awhile. Your doing so good, Im very proud of you, keep it up!

MellyFishButt

Awww, that sucks, so sorry. I did the same myself. I was laying on the couch and my brain wanted anything and everything I could get my hands on (nothing) so I put a regular patch back on. I must be doing this wean too fast. I have a call into my pain doc to see how I am supposed to get off this stupid patch. It's driving me nuts. My husband and mother in law seem to think they know what is going on more than me and its driving me bananas. Just because you saw an episode of intervention once does not make you an expert, people.

Good job sleeping Jenn!

MellyFishButt

Well no wonder I was hating life. Apparently these patches can't be cut down according to my pain doctors nurse. Oops. Glad I put the five back on since that was her advice.

Meanwhile my husband keeps pushing me to completely detox and I know that I personally don't have the strength for that. I am already someone with depression and panic disorder. I would likely walk out of detox immediately. Those three days of 'dosing down' made me feel incredibly desperate - like go out and drink desperate. Or worse. Blah.

Stupid brain and stupid receptors!!

MellyFishButt

Ps. Sorry for totally derailing your thread, Jenn!

Jennieric

Oh no MFB.....I am sooo sorry to hear that. The best thing about your life is that you there is tomorrow. You can do this when you really want to. Don't be hard on yourself . Thanks everyone for the words of encouragement. Today has been a great day. Sleep can do wonders. Hoping for some more tonight.

Jennieric

Day 11 here I come!!! Please bring me a goodnight sleep and a peaceful mind....PLEASE?!

Amalthea

Good Morning Jenn, did you sleep well? I hope so! I'm rooting for you

Jennieric

I slept 6hrs....hoping for a little more tonight. Had a great day. Went to the movies then walked around down town. It was beautiful today in TN ( little cold). Hit my 12 day mark. Hoping for more internal peace. I am wanting to use so bad. Life seems very dull! Anxiety seems to come from nowhere when I least expect it. Trying to grin and bare it. How long does this last or am I looking at my situation wrong. I spend the days counting time. Did that before though. Had to have enough pills for the whole day. I literally have about 30 clocks in my house. Obsessed with them. I have drawer murals of clocks on my walls!! Lol

Thanks everyone for the strength to carry on!!!

SickNSoooooTired.....how are you? I have been so worried

SNST

Hey Jenn, day 12! WOW, thats fantastic! I know you dont think your getting very far ( neither do I ) But if you look back to the first post you put here you will see how much better you are doing! Im doing pretty good considering, Ive had some bad anxiety again today an craving those demons like crazy! But its getting closer to bedtime ( Ive been watching the clock all day too lol ) so I can say I made it through day 21! Im gonna keep making it too, because if I have to got through feeling like crap again for what seems to be forever, I swear Ill probably die lol. Dont you worry about me Im tough This will all be behind us soon an we will be feeling good again. Hang in there, your doing great!