Jennieric

Oh I have been crying! Yes I went through withdrawels 3yrs ago from somas. That was a totally different withdrawel. I layed at night thinking I would not make it through the night. I couldn't breath and my heart raced so bad I thought I was a goner. But I still had my drug of choice to get through it well I was crazy enough to not take to for the first 4 days because of course I ran out early. I feel like I am giving up everything I am! I haven't had a single conversation in 5yrs that I didn't have my drugs. I don't know how to talk to my husband. He wants to give me my pills back! This is soooo hard!!! Because of you I want let that happen!!! Thank you sooooo much!!! You will never know how much you help me, for that I will be forever grateful!!!

Jennieric

I hit my 73.5 hr mark!!!! Yeppie😍

Jennieric

Well it is another day.....loot feeling much different than I did yesterday. Very hard to sleep and with my sleep aids it could be causing most of the feelings! Hoping t go for a walk today...it does pass some of the time. Seems all I do is stare at the clock! It has been 80.5 hrs since I last used. It still doesn't seem like long enough. For all you people with 15days behind you....I am soooo jealous. Just wanted to document my feelings and time so I can look back tomorrow and know I am 1step closer!

Jennieric

85.5 hrs!!!!! Sorry, brain isn't working yet! Day 4 will be over in 10 hrs!!!! Yay

ImperfectlyMe

You can do this keep busy hold on to your hopes and keep reaching for where you want to be

Jennieric

I started taking pain meds due to extreme things wrong with my back....I lived with the pain for years until I was put on meds. Will the pain ever go away? The rest of my body is feeling pretty normal but my back hurts worse. I do not want to go backward so if there is any help that anyone can give me I would appreciate it. I am getting up exercising....walked 3 mls yesterday and 1 today so far! I am craving the drugs more than ever. I really thought I hated them when I took them. I have begged and pleaded but came to my senses. I want this more than anything ever before!!!!! I am taking Advil all day and its not doing a damn thing!! I also have every herb and vitamin from GNC......not working either!!!!!!! Help!!!!!

Jennieric

My 4th day is over!!!!! I made it 5th day here I come!!!!!

BikerAcct

Keep going, you're doing great!

SNST

Congrats on day 4 Jenn thats fantastic!! Im so proud of you! Maybe your doc can give you something non narcotic for your pain? Anything is worth a try. But other than your pain it sounds like you are doing great!

Jennieric

I am doing great! Thank you for your support. I slept about 6 hrs last night and feel so much better. My head still is groggy but I am not thinking about the drugs that is huge!!! My pain has gone away a little so maybe it is part of the withdrawal?! Walked 2mls yesterday and went to see a movie with my daughter ( actually feel asleep in the movie) I went to GNC and bought a lot of herbs for sleep and anxiety. They really work bought something to cleanse the liver, so I should feel even better when that kicks in. How are you? I hope you are staying strong!!!!! You are helping people more than you would ever know

SNST

Sleep!!! Wow thats great! Im so glad to hear your feeling better, I told you it would I know those first 4 days are hell, but you made it!! I think alot of the pain is part of the w/d's because I was hurting real bad too, my back throbbed like a toothache & was on fire, but thats all better now, of course there are still aches & pains but nothing that cant be handle, I guess thats just from age Im doing good, its day 15 and Im having the best day so far. It feels so good to get up an do things without putting a pill in my mouth for that false energy, Im am so proud of you, we WILL beat this!

Jennieric

Glad to hear that you are so good. I am proud of you!!! I wish I was day 15 but I do know that I will be in 10 days! Have a great day

SNST

Yes you will get there, it will come along before you know it Im curious...are you smiling yet? From reading your post I can see your starting to get your happy back!

Jennieric

Yes I am...lol!! I had forgotten about that! I haven't gone back and read from the beginning, I was jabbering about everything. I am feeling good (sometimes even great!) my family is loving me! They think I am the funniest person they know and say they are glad to have me back! I don't feel like ME is back yet but the fear of thinking I couldn't be a person without the drugs is gone (almost) that was the hardest part about the idea of taking the steps to recovery......no one will like me without them! I lost my identity!! The truth is I had already lost everyone anyway.....funny how drugs trick you. I hope you are well....thanks again for getting me to #5 1/2!!!!!!!!! : D

SNST

Just reading this made me smile I just read back over your entire thread, and I found it very inspirational especially for those who are just starting their journey. You have came a long way in 5 days! I will admit at first I was a little nervous for you, I was so afraid you would pick up those demons again, especially knowing you had some right at your finger tips, that alone is amazing! I dont know that I could have done that, I did have a couple of times when people came over offering me something because they knew I was so sick, it was hard as hell but I said NO, and ask them to please not offer again because even though I had found some sort of will power to say no, it made me very anxious. Right now they could show me a massive bottle of pills and I would say no with no problem at all. You are obviously a very strong person! And I think we all believe we are a lot more fun and outgoing when we are on drugs, but Im starting to see I that wasnt true, I had a bad attitude an didnt care what I said or if I hurt someones feelings, because I had no feelings. It does feel great to laugh now dont it? I laugh more now than I did when I was using too. Its just a good feeling all over CONGRATS on day 5!! Your doing so good! Keep up the good work & stay STRONG! Any time you want to talk you can PM me if you want, Im in & out of here all day every day, until then I hope you have a wonderful day! Go enjoy it

Jennieric

When I was using, I had a filter that I just don't have at the present time. I think it's the fog in my brain. I walked into GNC yesterday and as soon as I hit the door I YELLED " I am going through withdrawals from pain pills and its my forth day and I NEED HELP!!!!!! The salesman started scrambling around the store and sold me just about everything they had! They worked!!!!! I would have never have done that before, my own mother had no idea I was on meds! My daughter thought I had gone crazy! I wanted my pills soooooo bad yesterday thAt I told my daughter if she gave me one I would by her a mac book $1200. She would rather have me I realized within about 5 min. that I couldn't and wouldn't! Sooooo I can't take the credit of being strong at the moment but I can say what I am going through is worth it!!

Jennieric

Day 6 has started!!!! Hope you are good to me. May I have sweet dreams and wake with a clear head!! Many wishes to the people struggling to get through the night

SNST

Congrats on day 6 jenn!!! Your getting there!! Thats awesome! It was just 3 days ago that you thought you were never gonna feel good again, but look at you now on day 6 and things are already getting better Im sorry but I had to laugh at your story about going to GNC, that took a lot of courage, but it got you what you needed, I wish now I would have had it in me to do that lol....I hope you got some sleep last night an woke up feeling like a million bucks, well lets go for a thousand I dont think we will feel like a million for some time to come But we will get there.

Jennieric

I feel.....anxious! Not sure if its normal or withdrawal?! Still not sleeping great but getting some. I am going out today and hopefully this anxiety will ease up. Still in a good mood and have been laughing a lot. Yes the day at GNC should have been spent at home. Got some good herbs but probably said a little to much! What can you do?! Lol!!! Hope you are doing great! Looking forward to day 7! When will I quit watching the calender and counting days and just be glad that today is the day?! I am hopeing that I still have a ways to go....this anxiety is killing me!

SNST

Im still having some anxiety But it seems to ease once I get up an do things, I was taking a low does Ativan occasionally for that but then got scared of it, I sure didnt want to get addicted to Benzo's again, I had that ride years ago and I sure dont want it again! I was reading on natural herbs that is suppose to help with the anxiety and energy, I might have to try them. I dont know what all the pharmacist helped you with but anything as long as its not addicted is worth a shot for me anyway. I found 3 different things one is Panax Ginseng, the others are Mucuna Prureins, & Velerian Root Extract? Im sure they are pretty expensive but I bet its not as much as I was paying for the pain pills daily Other that the anxiety Im feeling really good, I hardly have any cravings now, the only time I do is when I get stressed out over something that probably isnt really something to get so stressed about. I think now that Im not numbed by the drugs, my emotions, & senses are so much more intense, I feel pretty happy, but something small can upset me??? Sounds crazy but I guess thats all a part of it. As far as counting days / hours, Ive counted everyday until today, I woke up an had to think about what day Im on Realized its day 16! ( I think ) lol. None the less we have went another day without using!