Hello
 

Hello everyone...

Not sure where to start here. I have been lurking here for some time. I actually have already gotten a lot of help here by just doing that so thank you.

I have been hesitant to post because this is so freaking long and complicated but I think I need some help. Ill try to condense this as much as possible...

When I was younger...mid 20s I got into quite a bit of trouble with alcohol. I went through DUIs, court ordered in patient treatment, court ordered out patient treatment, etc

I eventually went a full 12 years without drinking a drop

During that time, my wife's sister moved here...and my wife and her sister would like to hit the casinos.

That eventually got to be a problem financially. One night when her and her sis were going to go gambling I threw a fit about it.

She explained that its her only release...and I asked her what release do I get?

She went out and bought me a six pack before she left.

So it got to the point where I would let her gamble as long as I could go with her and drink.

So...fast forward to now...her gambling increased...especially after the death of her mom....My drinking increased...we got in huge fights over money, drinking, whatever...we lost our house...we had to file for bankruptcy....we ended up separating a little over a year ago.

And since then..Ive been a mess. Even though we are separated, I pay for all of her ****...she is no where close to being independent which is one thing she wanted to do when she left. She is living with some guy she met online and she has no freaking bills.

With just lurking on this site, I did manage to put together 13 days sober until today...I'm drinking now so I hope that doesn't offend anyone.

I'm hoping that by posting I can have some accountability and maybe start over again tomorrow.

Sorry..i'm rambling....figured that would happen...but i'm still going to post this

welcome Skoonle

I think the important thing is it's never too late for a fresh start.
You'll find a lot of support here :)

I gotta ask tho - why are you still paying for your wife's various expenses if she's living with someone else?

D

You weren't rambling, Skoonie. :) Welcome to SR. It's good to have a place where you can discuss what you're going through - and people will really understand.

I was still drinking when I came here - but I quickly found the courage & support I needed to give it up for good. You had 13 days - that's great. I hope you'll start over so you can have a clear head to deal with all the challenges you're facing. As we've found out, drinking doesn't help a thing - it just makes us foggy and numb. We're happy you joined us.

Hi Skoonle,

Lots of great support here for your alcohol problems and relationship issues.
Keep posting and i'm sure sober recovery can help you.

Welcome. Glad you are here. I went 16 years without alcohol, then started again. SR has been very helpful. I hope you find what you need here.

Thanks Dee....I wish I had a good answer....I guess it's mostly because we are still married. I feel obligated to make sure she is ok. For better or worse I guess...and this is worse.

I do what I can to make sure she has gas to get to work, to make sure she has food...and sad to say, to make sure she has cigs.

Cause life is really hell when she runs out of cigs lol

Her gambling has caught up with her. Even though she is lving with someone else her checks are being garnished and she really has no money right now.

God its so strange...I went 12 years and didn't miss it a bit...and now....I cant seem to stop

:welcome to the family!

Hi Skoonie, so glad you posted! And it wasn't a ramble at all.

I was still drinking when I came here as well; it took me three months after joining SR to find the courage to put down the booze. But from the very first day I posted, the genuine support I received helped me to find that strength I needed to get sober.

I hear you, it's harder this time. This is a sneaky disease; it gets worse I believe if we start drinking after periods of abstinence.

But you can do it! Tomorrow is a great day for new beginnings. Glad you are here!

Love Venus xx

Thank you for the repl Venus.

It does seem harder after some time off.

Here is to tomorrow cause today is already wasted.

Thank you.

Hope you get some sleep tonight... just remember we are all here for you ♥

Venus xx

Hope you're feeling a bit better today, Skoonle. :)

Welcome! I'm new here but everyone is so great! I give you props for making sure your wife is taken care of. That's pretty noble of you. I have three kids with my husband(we are separated two years now) and he doesn't help us at all or visit his kids much. My husband's mom is helping support my kids and I right now until we get back on our feet again. I am glad you posted! There is lots of great support here!

So....I woke up this morning..or afternoon...with a horrible hangover.

And whats the best thing for a hangover? Needless to say, I ended up drinking again today. I'm hopeless.

I guess I try day 1 again tomorrow.