CriticalMass

I'm really cracking under the stress. I don't want to drink. It has just been my go to thing for so many years, that it keeps popping in my head that I can deal with the stress that way. I know it's not true. I feel like I've had a headache for days. This is rough, guys. I can't sleep well, and my body is craving cookies and brownies. I have a week off next week from work and school and my initial thought is "I can drink without any repurcussions! I won't miss class or work and can sleep as long as I want!" I don't want this to be the case. I don't want to fall back on it. Tips? Strategies? Friendly internet hugs? Maybe even some puzzles, jokes, or riddles? My mind can't hold any more information to study.

noexcuse

I say give in to your brownie/cookie cravings, Critical! Finals are rough - I remember the feeling quite well. And no work or school next week????? That's awesome!! Wherever you are in school, maybe check into some local places to hike or picnic or learn about (although learning about something right after finals might be the last thing you want to do). I went to school that had an amazing park/garden about an hour from the school. Trails, sunken gardens, statues, gargoyles... It was an awesome place to chill. There was also a greenhouse on the campus that hardly anyone knew about - a great place to read at a campus of 36,000! Find a nice easy read and sit outside, learn to grill a perfect steak or find a TV series that always caught your interest but you never had time to watch because you were passed out. There's lots of things to experience out there besides waking up each morning with no memory and a terrible headache.

Good luck on the rest of your finals!

Dee74

Finals are always rough Critical - I'm wishing you well there.

As far as the 'ahh holidays' factor goes....you're aware of it so fight it - post in here and read as often as you need to...use any other recovery support you have or can think of too.

You can get through all this sober - millions of other students do

D

CriticalMass

Thanks, guys. It's getting harder and harder as the sun goes down, and I still have my head in a book. It doesn't help that my relationship is kind of in an awkward place right now. I'm chain smoking at the moment (which is probably worse than drinking for my health) but at least I don't have to worry about doing anything I won't remember. I'll tackle that at a later date. One thing at a time. I'm really struggling at the moment though. Day 4 is worse than Day 3.

least

You're getting there. You'll start feeling better any day now. The first few days are really rough but it will get smoother. Hang in there!

Living

I had headaches and sleep issues for the first three weeks. I know it sounds rough, but waking up without the shakes and foggy head made it worth it. If you feel you are having a tough withdrawl, you might want to consider talking to your Doctor. There are short term remedies that will help with the major symptons you are having.

Hang in there and don't give up!

CriticalMass

Thanks guys. I took a benzo for the withdrawals. Now I'm settled in bed with a new book I just bought with what would have been my Wednesday night beer money. You guys' support means the world to me. Will I drink tomorrow or Friday? Who knows...but I'm not drinking now, and hopefully I will wake up in that state of mind. My body wanted sugar so it got orange juice (which is much tastier without vodka). I hope everyone has a great sober night.

Day 5 starts in 2 hours and 10 mins!

Grungehead

I was just thinking that with a week off from work and school that would mean less stress, and less stress makes it easier to stay sober. Think of that week off as a time to start feeling better before you head back to the grind of school and work. When I'm early in sobriety (4 weeks today) and I think about drinking I say to myself...I JUST STOPPED drinking because things were so bad, why in the hell would I want to start again? Is my memory that short? I tell you this is a crazy disease. I stopped drinking for 7 years two different times and I've got 4 weeks today. That is the insanity of this disease. My disease was laying dormant for all those years just waiting for me to screw up lol. It doesn't matter if you have 4 days or 4 years, all it takes is one drink and you'll be right back to where you were. Ahhh I'm rambling CM. Congrats on 4 days!

And as a sage old sponsor once told me...if you don't drink you won't get drunk. He had to keep things pretty simple for me.

CriticalMass

Thanks Grungehead, if it can't be explained simply, generally the person explaining it doesn't know it very well I think I'll keep up posting on these forums guys. You haven't seen the last of me.

CriticalMass

Day 5 and making it! I have a final tonight, but I've planned ahead. Ordinarily I'd get wasted as a reward for completing this quarter, but not tonight. I talked to my boss and changed my office hours so I have to be up a 6:00 am tomorrow. Ergo, I can't drink.

Mrbeagle

Ey critical I know the feeling. I let the stress get the better of me and wasted 3 days drinking. Also got my finals this week. Now I've embarrassed myself massively and have to cram everything last minute. You've definitely made the right decision

Living

How are things going? One day at a time and you will be pleasantly surprised soon.

CriticalMass

Still going strong; I'm about to complete Day 6 but some depression is setting in a little. I think it's just feelings I've been avoiding. I'll be fine, but today has been one of the hardest since it's my first Friday without alcohol in about a year.

Impurrfect

((Critical)) - just my experience. I numbed myself with one thing or another for decades, my final downfall was crack.

When we get clean/sober, our feelings seem to overwhelm us. Why not? Every other time, we just numbed them out.

It ends, but it's not immediate. I promise you...it ends.

I went back to school about 2-1/2 years ago for my 3rd associate's degree (never used the first one, messed up the second one due to addiction).

I stressed over every test, paper, etc. There were may times I just wanted to not care, but that meant using, and I did NOT want to do that. Hell, I was working on a new career because I'd messed up one due to addiction!

Drinking/using never got me anywhere. Yep, it numbed out the feelings for a while, but it also brought about some harsh consequences, and I'm TIRED of consequences.

Long story short..graduated with honors (the first time in my 3 degrees...gee, I was clean and sober!) I was no longer doing things that I would have bad consequences for later.

Early recovery is tough, as all those feelings we numbed out come back. I was determined that I wasn't going to repeat that pattern.

You can DO this, you really can. There were times I spent HOURS on SR, just to remind myself that I wasn't alone, others had gotten through worse than I ever did, some were still struggling and I didn't want to go through that again.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

CriticalMass

Impurrfect, you have made my day. The kindness and support of strangers never ceases to humble and amaze me on here.

Genie

Hey Criticalmass - these cravings for sugar, IMO, is because we consumed a lot of sugar when we drank.

Try eating as pure of a chocolate as possible. Start at 75 percent cocoa and then go up. I now eat 90 percent cocoa. All you need is one or two squares and it really helps regulate the blood sugar, and is good for you too! Full of antioxidants.

Genie

MidnightBlue

Hi, CriticalMass)

Oh, finals... I remember I was so exhausted that once put a kettle on a stove to make some tea, and while I waited for water to boil over I fell asleep. Long story short it was quite a sound sleep because I didn't hear the water boiling away, and the kettle was completely ruined. I was very lucky that there was no fire.

Take care of yourself. They shall pass. It's just a milestone. Take a short break, go for a walk. Your brain needs refreshment once in a while.

And there' also a so called "pendulum rule" - don't study too hard the day before the exam. Switch to different activity. Then you mind will have time to sort out all the info and it will 'bounce back" on the right time.

Best wishes to you and good luck)

hamptons

I just started reading all of Hemingway's books... started with "The Old Man and the Sea".

I have a hot bath right before bed, some warm milk, some turkey slices and read my books and I find after 9 days sober I am sleeping so much better..... no sweats, or itchy ass or stomach cramps now

GL

CriticalMass

Day 7 and feel like heaven! I don't know the last time I've been up before noon on a Saturday morning. I'm 23 and watching cartoons! I'm glad finals are done. Straight A's! (which is hard in graduate school!)

Once again, you guys are great.

Living

Great job on your finals and even better on your sobriety!