Day one again
 

Dont know where to start stayed sober for while and then thought two beers cant do any harm.What a mess alcohol controls me. When will I ever get this going to start again to all in SR tks for support.....................

I had to absolutely fundamentally accept that alcohol and me are toxic together joleah.
Any time, any thought that tells me drinking is a good idea for me is a lie.

What kind of support do you have?
D

We all know where you're coming from. That voice that whispers to you that "if you only do this or change that about your drinking habits then everything will be juuuuuust fiiiiine" is very persuasive and seductive.

Maybe you should print your post above, ENLARGED, on a piece of paper and stick it in some prominent place as a reminder to yourself to always be on the lookout for The Voice?

Also, have you really analyzed why you gave in to the voice this time and what you will do to try to avoid repeating the mistake next time?

It's great that you've come back and are TRYING AGAIN -- please give yourself credit for that because you deserve it!

When I wanted to stay sober more than I wanted to drink, then I was able to stay sober. Make staying sober your first priority. :hug:

Hey friend, I'm on day 1 again too so I feel your pain.

I know for me that after just a few days sober I start to feel better and think "aw what was I so worried about, I don't have a drinking problem! Let's drink! ...just a little though"

20 drinks later....

Thanks woozy you are so right I can tell myself after a few days see you have it licked no probs only two beer after work or maybe Saturday a six pack or Wednesday mid week a couple etc etc etc so many lies to myself and then it everyday I cant remember my last day without drink ....and oh yes you cant be an alky you only drink beer never well hardly ever the hard stuff except maybe some rum you daughter has or some of her wine so many many ways to fool myself............................................ ...........................

I call it the shite fairy. It told me so many lies and got me enticed almost every day during my first 2 years of 1/4 trying. Then someone got me to stop drinking for a few days and pointed out the part of the second step about returning us to sanity, which I was rejecting because.......He explained how my repeated days of drinking and expecting different results was insane. Thank you for those patient old timers. It was also pointed out how being honest with myself is so important. Being aware is a must for someone trying to recover from this disease. BE WELL