WhyIsThisMyLife

Right now withdrawing from mostly kratom. I believe the alcohol withdrawals are about gone. The last few weeks the anxiety of withdrawing, the fear of it. The robotic bugs breaking through the wall dream, the jerks, the sleeplessness and the severe stomach burning (kratom withdrawal) and I truly feel and pray God just let me feel better to cuddle up with my children and watch television. What was happening do bad that I needed to escape? I want to deal with life on its terms. Escaping just put me where I am now. I'm talking Antabuse also. If I wasn't, I'd be drinking to sleep and escape this withdrawal pain. I look at myself and the stupid moves that got me here. I remember the first time I used alcohol to soothe myself. Had a one night stand and was afraid I caught every disease known to man. By the time the last HIV test came back negative (4 months later), I was an alcoholic. Then pills and kratom to stop drinking. I know I am not the one taking me off this roller coaster. It's Jesus. I was powerless over everything. I'm thankful my withdrawal is not worse. I have abused alcohol since 2005 and prescription drugs since 2008, kratom since 2011. All I have is a burning stomach and my prayers.

Dee74

I'm a Christian, and I believe that God can move mountains.
But I also believe sometimes He gives me a shovel too

what else are you doing for your recovery?

D

least

What Dee said. You have the ability to kick this addiction to the curb but you've got to want it more than anything.

WhyIsThisMyLife

I realized I would be bored and drink or bored and use. Let me be bored and watch tv. This kind of excitement of withdrawing, I don't need!

DrunkTx

I don't know what Kratom is, but I do know about addiction. It sucks! Jesus is my rock too, but I'm trying to learn and see what he is saying and teaching me. To do that I have to be aggressive and proactive in my recovery. He throws the life preserver, but I have to swim to it and grab it. I think others are saying that it is great that you are seeing his light, but what are you doing to help your reach it? Meetings, excercise, support groups, counselling, whatever.....but something more than hope. As we say at work, that is not a strategy.

Kayla50

Whyisthismylife... how do you feel taking the Antabuse? I've always wondered if I should take it. I'm going through alcohol withdraw symptoms right now and it's awful. I can barely stand to be in my own skin. I've been battling this for about 10 years or so. I hate it soo much. I'm so depressed.

WhyIsThisMyLife

Right now taking Antabuse. After this pain, I'm going to work Chrstian steps. Also urge surfing.

WhyIsThisMyLife

I only take 125 and have no problems with it. The withdrawal symptoms only get worse after each time you withdraw. No more robotic bugs breaking through my ceiling. I'd rather have depression than that. I'm going to continue for at least three months as I work on coping skills.