Go Back  SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information > New to Addiction and Recovery? > Newcomers to Recovery
Reload this Page >

Got up the courage to ask for a sponsor ..Am I overreacting??!!

Blogs


Notices

Got up the courage to ask for a sponsor ..Am I overreacting??!!

Old 05-14-2013, 02:48 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: New York
Posts: 49
Got up the courage to ask for a sponsor ..Am I overreacting??!!

So yesterday I finally got up the courage to ask someone to be my sponsor at a meeting. When the leader asked asked who is available I looked at the girls who raised their hands and there was someone that I enjoyed listening to speak. She is young and I just enjoyed her advice so I asked. It took everything in me to ask. I said would you be my temporary sponsor (this way if we didn't click I could find someone else) she said yes and then about 5 min later said she couldn't cause she was getting married. OK WHY raise your hand then Why offer yourself?? So she said Ill be happy to start the steps with you...but now I don't want to. I want to start the process with someone that is going to take me through the steps. Am I overreacting I don't want to share certain things with someone and then them not be available and start with someone else. I don't get why she raised her hand and I want to say something tonight but I am not sure how to. I just think I am gonna tell her what I said above that I would like to start with one person??
Any advice would be great cause this has gotten me in a pissy mood all of a sudden and I have a meeting in an hour. Grrrrrr!
Angie
Angiekins3 is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Angiekins3 For This Useful Post:
neferkamichael (05-14-2013)
Old 05-14-2013, 03:02 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Forum Leader
 
ScottFromWI's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,173
You can't control her actions, good or bad. Wondering why she did it is pointless and will only cause you grief and stress. If you don't feel comfortable politely decline and ask someone else. You don't want to be uncomfortable with whomever will be helping you out.
ScottFromWI is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to ScottFromWI For This Useful Post:
Angiekins3 (05-14-2013), neferkamichael (05-14-2013)
Old 05-14-2013, 03:02 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Life Health Prosperity
 
neferkamichael's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Louisana
Posts: 6,537
I myself hate the kind of person who thinks they have "power" over you because they become your sponsor. More times than once my sponsor wasn't available when I called or needed him, although most of the time he did return my calls sooner or later. Go with your gut. I just hope your sponsor isn't one of the overreacting kind. Rootin for ya.
neferkamichael is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to neferkamichael For This Useful Post:
Angiekins3 (05-14-2013), Deluxe (05-14-2013)
Old 05-14-2013, 03:03 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
EverySngleNight's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Mid-Atlantic
Posts: 553
She probably really was sincere about wanting to help. But, then she thought "oh crap, I'm planning a wedding and wouldn't be the best person right now." That was well intended IMO.
EverySngleNight is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to EverySngleNight For This Useful Post:
Angiekins3 (05-14-2013), neferkamichael (05-14-2013), NoelleR (05-15-2013)
Old 05-14-2013, 03:10 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: New York
Posts: 49
Thanks guys I feel a bit better I believe her intentions were good. I just need to let this and so many things go ...that's why I need guidance !!!! lol
Thank you
Angie
Angiekins3 is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Angiekins3 For This Useful Post:
neferkamichael (05-14-2013)
Old 05-14-2013, 03:21 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Forum Leader
 
ScottFromWI's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,173
Originally Posted by Angiekins3 View Post
Thanks guys I feel a bit better I believe her intentions were good. I just need to let this and so many things go ...that's why I need guidance !!!! lol
Thank you
Angie
Even if her intentions weren't good it really doesn't matter. Not "letting things go" I think is one of the reasons many of us drank anyway - to avoid having to do just that. All that should matter to you is your recovery and there's absolutely nothing wrong with just politely telling her you'd rather find someone who will be a more permanent sponsor.
ScottFromWI is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to ScottFromWI For This Useful Post:
Angiekins3 (05-14-2013), AugustWest11 (05-14-2013), neferkamichael (05-14-2013)
Old 05-14-2013, 05:26 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: New York
Posts: 49
Letting go is HUGE HUGE HUGE problem for me. Its one thing I cant wait to learn how to change!
Angiekins3 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Angiekins3 For This Useful Post:
choublak (05-14-2013), neferkamichael (05-17-2013)
Old 05-14-2013, 05:29 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Grateful
 
Grungehead's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 1,760
Blog Entries: 1
I've asked people to be my sponsor before and they declined. Both times it was an old timer and they said they were sponsoring so many people they were afraid they wouldn't be available enough. Both times they offered to sponsor me temporarily until I found a permanent sponsor. It sounds like she wanted to sponsor you and then realized that she wouldn't have the time to be available as often as she would like. That's just my take on it.
Grungehead is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Grungehead For This Useful Post:
Angiekins3 (05-14-2013), neferkamichael (05-17-2013)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:16 PM.