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Is it normal to have a drink problem?

Old 05-14-2013, 11:50 AM
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Is it normal to have a drink problem?

Hi guys,

I've been people watching these last few months and it appears to me that the vast majority of people have got some form of fascination with alcohol in one way or another.

I've been to a funeral and a wedding amongst other events recently and they all seem to be booze oriontated(sp).

I look on facebook and twitter and that seems to be very booze related too. As soon as the weather is nice people are BBQing and drinking, as soon as its friday people are drinking. I put the TV on and people in soap opera's can't seem to go more than a couple of days without drinking, at work I speak to clients and one way or another booze gets thrown into it.

These people who I'm talking about are normal people with normal lives but a very large % of them seem to have a problem with alcohol.

Has anybody else noticed this or is it just highlighted more in my mind by my own drink problem.

Bruno.
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Old 05-14-2013, 12:05 PM
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I think its environmental, i've been to plenty of dry weddings and thought "WTF? How can you have a wedding without booze?"

Its on TV frequently, but I think its more of a prop, you don't see a whole lot of shows where people act uncontrolably drunk.

At my job its a split, some are drinkers some aren't
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Old 05-14-2013, 12:06 PM
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I think that when alcohol started to make me sad and angry thats when I noticed more.
I hated alcohol and what it did to me. Blackouts made me angry. Drinking everyday made me sad.

It was compounded by the fact it seemed such a big part of everyday life. The way to celebrate is with booze. The way to get over something bad is to drink.
Like you say births and deaths are marked by drink.

In soaps on the TV they all go to the pub twice a day and drink.
Being a wine buff is seen as a sign of intelligence.
Talking about wine is seen as an interesting conversation.
Facebook is dominated by people boozing. Your popular if you booze.

I don't know if I would say they have a 'problem' with alcohol as I understand a 'problem' to be.

However I think it is too much of a feature of everyday life and its not just you, I notice it too.

My best to you
xx
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Old 05-14-2013, 12:31 PM
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I think I notice people drinking more now that I don't drink, but I also notice that there are a LOT of people who don't drink at all or when they do just have a minimal amount.

I mentioned earlier in a post today that a friend of a friend just passed away last Friday at 42 from cirrhosis. Ironically they served beer at the funeral reception as "he would have wanted his friends to have a beer at his funeral". Even his death couldn't remove alcohol from his legacy. Sad but telling of our society at times.
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Old 05-14-2013, 12:31 PM
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Originally Posted by Bruno1979 View Post
...or is it just highlighted more in my mind by my own drink problem.
Yes.
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Old 05-14-2013, 12:49 PM
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Hi Bruno,

I've found it to be a similar observation in my life as well. Before and after my sobriety, I've actually always thought that society drinks a lot. I always felt that the drunk story conversations at work were stupid. I'm still surprised at how drinking is the center of so many activities, i.e. golf, brunch, lunch, dinner, bbq's, birthday parties, games, weddings, work functions, post outdoor activities like cycling, skiing, tennis etc., the list goes on. I personally believe that more people have a drinking problem than they care to admit. I also think making a decision to be completely sober has opened my eyes to the reality of it. I agree with you, and am SO glad to be on this side of it.
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Old 05-14-2013, 12:52 PM
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Mass denial. Here in the Uk, the land is sodden with alcohell. I do not believe in the saying " normal drinkers" every one that drinks is addicted just at different stages. My view obv.
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Old 05-14-2013, 12:55 PM
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I think some people like to talk about it because they think it's cool to talk about it. People can talk about all kinds of stuff on Facebook and Twitter, but how much of it is really 100% accurate?
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Old 05-14-2013, 01:01 PM
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I have my facebook packed with AA/recovery
likes as well as some music, tattoos, golf,
motorcycles, funny, inspirational, etc likes
and no alcohol. Just don't see anything with
alcohol. IMO of course.

Im glad I have a choice to decide what I
want or don't want to have in my recovery
life. And one of them is not to place myself
situations that would make me feel squirrely
or uncomfortable especially if alcohol is involved.

I live a fairly quiet, serene, calm way of
life without much drama. No alcohol, no
drama. Simply Free..!!
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Old 05-14-2013, 01:05 PM
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Originally Posted by aasharon90 View Post
And one of them is not to place myself
situations that would make me feel squirrely
or uncomfortable especially if alcohol is involved.
I'm curious, what do you do about mandatory work-related functions (like a company dinner at a restaurant where there is an open bar, for example) where alcohol is involved?
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Old 05-14-2013, 01:10 PM
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I've often wondered this too. BUT it's often lead me to thinking- "look, everybody drinks- and their lives don't suck- I can do it too!" No I can't... I. Can't. Do. It. I don't know how they are and it's mystifying to me... But I cannot. I give up.
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Old 05-14-2013, 01:34 PM
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Originally Posted by choublak View Post
I'm curious, what do you do about mandatory work-related functions (like a company dinner at a restaurant where there is an open bar, for example) where alcohol is involved?
I have attended receptions and work related parties where alcohol is served, but they also serve non-alcoholic drinks which I drink instead.
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Old 05-14-2013, 01:53 PM
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Originally Posted by ScottFromWI View Post
I have attended receptions and work related parties where alcohol is served, but they also serve non-alcoholic drinks which I drink instead.
And you don't feel uncomfortable at all?
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Old 05-14-2013, 02:01 PM
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Thumbs up

For me, id do whatever I needed to do
to stay sober. Go to any lengths to stay
sober. I'd find a way out of the meeting,
without lying. Something always seemed
to pop up for me to get out of a meeting.

If you absolutely have to go, one can have
an excuse to leave early without lying. Lying
would result in returning to make amends
for lying. Have someone beside you that's
not drinking for a support system. Drink non
alcoholic drinks. Id get out, away from that
atmosphere a quickly as I could because
being around others that are drinking would
be uncomfortable because I can't communicate
with others under the enfluence when Im not.

I had my children when they were young when
I got sober, so my life was kids and an at home
mom. I could get out of many things with my
spouse at that time to attend functions I didn't
want to go to or didn't feel comfortable going to.

Many folks drink and loose their jobs and
other things. If I drank I wouldn't have a
job, life.....nothing..!!!!

Yes, I would absolutely feel uncomfortable
if I had to go. Choose what is right for you
and the situation you are in to stay sober.
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Old 05-14-2013, 02:15 PM
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Originally Posted by Bruno1979 View Post
Has anybody else noticed this or is it just highlighted more in my mind by my own drink problem.

Bruno.
Yes, I'd say right now you're a little more sensitive to alchohol use. I notice the same thing.

But I don't believe it's normal to have a drinking problem. Alcohol is big part of Western Culture, and it always will be. Most people don't develop a problem, some of us do.
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Old 05-14-2013, 02:24 PM
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Here's an article I found. Says 30% of Americans will develop a problem in their lifetime, higher than I thought.

30% Of Americans Abuse Alcohol, Study Says - CBS News
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Old 05-14-2013, 02:32 PM
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Thanks for posting this article. I was going to say I think a lot more people have a problem than like to admit. People I work with get seriously drunk frequently and they are quite functional highly paid professionals.
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Old 05-14-2013, 02:41 PM
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I think it is so engraved and entrenched within the West that alcohol has become a part of life. It amazes me that people are relatively shocked about the rise of alcohol problems. Also, the fact that people are judged for having a problem with it. It seems that there is almost a political aspect to it; you need to be somewhat sophisticated when leading a hedonistic lifestyle. Otherwise, there is something wrong with you. This is just my experience.

It is one big irony.
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Old 05-14-2013, 02:43 PM
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Originally Posted by choublak View Post
And you don't feel uncomfortable at all?
Perhaps initially I did but nothing I can't deal with. There are plenty of people who don't drink alcohol at these occasions too. Becoming sober didn't mean I had to quit moving on with my life, it just means I don't drink anymore. Granted I don't specifically hang out in bars or in situations where the sole purpose of the event is to drink, but work meetings and gatherings are not of that nature.
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Old 05-14-2013, 04:07 PM
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I see it too. I find it really irritating how casual people are about drinking. But then that is because I always had a massive problem with it. I can't understand that other people aren't having the same problems I had and are seemingly happy drinking all the time, but then I wonder if anyone thought that about me, I was a fun drunk in some ways and never got in trouble, I bet someone somewhere wished they could drink 'normally' like me

Ultimately though, it doesn't do me any favours to worry about other people's drinking habits. It just causes that 'well I am not as bad as him but I am worse than them' type thinking which just kept me drinking really. Even after I quit, I was a lot happier if I just concentrated on my own relationship with alcohol and let other people get on with whatever it is they want to do.
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