MemphisBlues

Mid, I had a lot of dental issues from benzo withdrawal. Grinding, for sure, so much so I would wake my self up from the clatter. Gum recession, too. I went through a month or so where I was overproducing saliva, which increased the amount of bacteria in my mouth.

And, yeah, benzos are just wicked. I had leg spasms for several months, constant ringing in the ears, intrusive thoughts, the last song or jingle I heard would stick in my head for hours. I could hum every CNN program theme, or the last music I heard in a convenience store would swirl around in my head until it was replaced by the next song heard in a taxi, etc. My list of symptoms would go on for about a page or so.

But I was most susceptible to the power of suggestion. If I read about it, I got it. So please tread carefully when hearing of others woes.

It simply gets better with time. In my case, the hand shaking was pretty bad for six months. I just learned to accept it. I won't even go into the depression. Just say that it was probably the worst I ever had in 30 years of treatment for depression.

My take is that you are doing great. I know you have great responsibilities with the kids and what not but do try to give yourself some time to heal. Watch some movies, lean on the husband to do as much day-to-day stuff as you can. Just be assured it gets better.

Midlifecrisis

Thanks. Yeah the shaking is crazy . And the tooth grinding. I feel like I've had a shot of meth but without the good feelings or energy. Arghhhhhhh. I hate this!!!! I so miss just collapsing onto my bed and passing out. My skin is crawling and I can't get my words out properly.

This too shall pass. The cravings are strong today.

ScottFromWI

Keep at it MLC. As bad as you certainty feel, you can tell by your posts that your thinking has improved drastically since before rehab. Very happy for you that you are on the right path now.

Midlifecrisis

Thank you for the encouragement. I am a bit scared to go back and read my old posts.

noexcuse

I would go back and read your old posts, MLC. Then try to think of some of the positives instead of all of the negatives that are swirling around your head. No more incomprehensible posts. No more leaving your husband worrying and coming home from work to watch the brood while you pass out. No more fear of getting caught snorting pills in the public park. No more fear of running out of your regimented dose before you could get a refill. No more spending all of your time and energy into maintaining an absolute feeling of numbness. Yes, you may be spending a lot of time and energy into feeling 'normal' right now, but it will go away. So many years wasted trying/wanting/being wasted... If you focus on some of the brighter things, maybe the temporary feelings that you have right now won't seem so bad.

Midlifecrisis

I will read them, soon. Not sure i can do it at the moment. Thank you.

I don't think I can do this. I can't stop my brain jumping up and down, I feel like I am jumping up and down on a trampoline and nothing will make it stop. And my hands have pins and needles and are all numb. I hate this.

Anna

Have you talked to your dr, MLC?

Midlifecrisis

Not yet. I did manage to see my counsellor yesterday (hubby drove me) and she said its all normal and will take time. I will try and see gp this week when I can get there.

Living

You are doing great! Hang in there and just remember it WILL get better.

I was a heavy wine drinker (daily) but I also took/take 1mg of Clonazepan daily. I ran out for a week before I could go back to the doctor. The first two days were OK but by day 3 I could not fall asleep and when I finally did, it was just for 3-4 hours. Horrible itching of the skin also. Unreal how easy it is for your body to become addicted to these things no matter how low the dose.

I have decided I am going to wean off these soon. I have been sober since 4-15-2013, so I am taking one addiction at a time. Clonazepan and cigarettes next.

Thoughts and prayers to you and your wonderful family.

Midlifecrisis

Thank you and good luck with your next challenge