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Just got out of detox

Old 05-15-2013, 04:51 AM
  # 41 (permalink)  
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I am proud of you. Have been thinking of you.

I know from my job how awful benzo withdrawal is. And how dangerous. You are right to be medically supervised. This is NO game.

I will say, when I was in alcohol withdrawal I was so scared and took stupid risks since I was too ashamed to seek help. You did it right.

But also, my withdrawal from alcohol (15 months ago) and my withdrawal from cigarettes (7 years ago) are SO vivid still, and frightening, that it is a major force in my commitment to never relapsing. I never want to go through that again. And I never want you to, either.

I am glad your husband is so caring. In that sense you are very lucky.
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Old 05-15-2013, 06:34 AM
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I hope you start to feel better soon.
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Old 05-15-2013, 08:04 AM
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Midlife:
Welcome back. Been thinking of you. What you've done took lots of guts and courage. Congratulations! Hope you keep in close touch with a good doc to help you with your continuing symptoms. Make sure he or she is in close touch with your meds and what you're taking. How it's working out. It should get better soon. Hang in there and keep posting. We're all rooting for you!

W.
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Old 05-15-2013, 01:28 PM
  # 44 (permalink)  
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Mid, the shaking, the panic-like constant feeling, the sense of approaching insanity were all symptoms I dealt with for a long time.

I do hope you are receiving some intensive after care from a doctor well versed in benzo withdrawal.

I couldn't walk well. My feet were being swallowed by sponge-like concrete when I tried to walk to the store to get cigs.

What you are going through right now and what I went through for a long time is one of the things that keeps me sober. I don't ever want to go back to that. Please don't freak over the whole PAWS thing. Two weeks out it is totally normal to shake, to just be in an all hell-bound terrible feeling. That big wet warm blanket of benzos has been removed from every neve of our bodies and the nerves are screaming for more benzos.

It takes time for the brain to rewire once benzos are removed rapidly. And two weeks, from what I read, is considered a pretty rapid detox.

You were on a much lower dose of benzos than me and I don't think you will pay the price I did. AT two weeks is when the real hell began, but from what I read in your posts you are already at the tail end of it.

Just don't give up. When you are feeling the worst of it remember that you are one day closer to being done with the withdrawal. Some symptoms just might persist. My hands shook for six months. I was on a dose ten time higher than you.

What symptoms did the detox facility tell you to expect? What symptoms did they tell you to notify them or a doctor about? What steps did they tell yo to take to try to alleviate the symptoms?

Some doctors and facilities just don't get benzo detox. They think that once the drug is out of the system the withdrawal is over. Good doctors and good facilities know that it's just when detox is complete that the brain is at the most vulnerable point in causing some real terror. Once benzos are gone it takes the brain time to rewire and deal with its own neurotransmitters again, the ones benzos totally replace.

And please don't read the horror stories -- including mine -- and expect to experience the same thing. I think the power of suggestion when we are in such a vulnerable state is, well, real powerful. The majority of people get off benzos with nary a problem, many have a few bad days and weeks after detox, and a rare few go through what I did.

Please make sure a professional doctor knows what you are experiencing.

Last edited by Dee74; 05-15-2013 at 04:10 PM. Reason: rule 10
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Old 05-15-2013, 01:51 PM
  # 45 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Midlifecrisis View Post
Thanks. I'm worried about paws after such a rapid detox. I'm pretty much useless atm.
What did detox say about aftercare and recovery program?

All the best.

Bob R
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Old 05-15-2013, 04:54 PM
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Originally Posted by MemphisBlues View Post
Mid, the shaking, the panic-like constant feeling, the sense of approaching insanity were all symptoms I dealt with for a long time.

I do hope you are receiving some intensive after care from a doctor well versed in benzo withdrawal.

I couldn't walk well. My feet were being swallowed by sponge-like concrete when I tried to walk to the store to get cigs.

What you are going through right now and what I went through for a long time is one of the things that keeps me sober. I don't ever want to go back to that. Please don't freak over the whole PAWS thing. Two weeks out it is totally normal to shake, to just be in an all hell-bound terrible feeling. That big wet warm blanket of benzos has been removed from every neve of our bodies and the nerves are screaming for more benzos.

It takes time for the brain to rewire once benzos are removed rapidly. And two weeks, from what I read, is considered a pretty rapid detox.

You were on a much lower dose of benzos than me and I don't think you will pay the price I did. AT two weeks is when the real hell began, but from what I read in your posts you are already at the tail end of it.

Just don't give up. When you are feeling the worst of it remember that you are one day closer to being done with the withdrawal. Some symptoms just might persist. My hands shook for six months. I was on a dose ten time higher than you.

What symptoms did the detox facility tell you to expect? What symptoms did they tell you to notify them or a doctor about? What steps did they tell yo to take to try to alleviate the symptoms?

Some doctors and facilities just don't get benzo detox. They think that once the drug is out of the system the withdrawal is over. Good doctors and good facilities know that it's just when detox is complete that the brain is at the most vulnerable point in causing some real terror. Once benzos are gone it takes the brain time to rewire and deal with its own neurotransmitters again, the ones benzos totally replace.

And please don't read the horror stories -- including mine -- and expect to experience the same thing. I think the power of suggestion when we are in such a vulnerable state is, well, real powerful. The majority of people get off benzos with nary a problem, many have a few bad days and weeks after detox, and a rare few go through what I did.

Please make sure a professional doctor knows what you are experiencing.
It's the same for me. During the 2 week detox stays at had a few hard days etc. but now at just past two weeks I am feeling worse and worse. I can't even see properly. I am seeing the counsellor tomorrow (luckily hubby is home too drive me) and I might make a gp appointment for afterwards. I experienced awful withdrawals last time I did this on only about half the dose I was using this time. I was on 100-150mg a day (big doses in the mornihg then snorting smaller amounts around the clokck). of the Valium plus stacks of codeine and alcohol. It's really knocked me around. I couldn't sleep well last night and I can't stop grinding my teeth now either. Grrrrr. Stupid drugs.

I agree regarding detox providers not knowing (acknowledging) benzo withdrawal. I only saw a doctor on my first day there and from then it was just nurses and they failed to recognise any of my concerns. Nope, it computer says after 14 days you are medically detoxed. Anything else must be in your head.

I wasn't given any advice for aftercare at all for this reason.
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Old 05-15-2013, 05:02 PM
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I think you need to keep in mind MLC - you went to a free facility, where there was at least medical assistance.

Everyone would love a rehab with 24/7 attention spa swimming pool and a 3 month stay... but who can afford that financially - or emotionally, if you have a young family?

With all the cutbacks in health in our state, I'm kinda amazed something free like that is still going.

regarding aftercare and knowledgeable Drs - is there nothing in the bigger cities like Toowoomba?

D
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Old 05-15-2013, 05:06 PM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
I think you need to keep in mind MLC - you went to a free facility, where there was at least medical assistance.

Everyone would love a rehab with 24/7 attention spa swimming pool and a 3 month stay... but who can afford that financially - or emotionally, if you have a young family?

With all the cutbacks in health in our state, I'm kinda amazed something free like that is still going.

D
For sure. Lol, least of my worries is attention or a spa. It's just frustrating that they don't recognise the longer term affects of benzo withdrawal. And I guess I'm just scared of the way I'm feeling now that I'm back home with not much advice from doctors in the city and knowing that the doctors out here do no know anything about it either.

They said they nearly closed the hads unit down last year with all the cuts. We were then told it is the largest medical detox in the Southern Hemisphere which is kind of sad.
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Old 05-15-2013, 05:08 PM
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Yes. I am gojng to go back to the doctor who i was seeing just before I went in to detox, who openly admit that she knows nothing about benzo withdrawal but did mention speaking to an expert in toowoomba. I think my counsellor will
Help me out in the morning.
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Old 05-15-2013, 05:15 PM
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It is sad but it's better than nothing...I can't believe some of the other stuff they've shut down...but thats another thread.

D
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Old 05-15-2013, 05:21 PM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
It is sad but it's better than nothing...I can't believe some of the other stuff they've shut down...but thats another thread.

D
For sure...I'm with you there.
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Old 05-15-2013, 06:58 PM
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So very proud of you! Your last posts before going into detox were so emotional and you sounded so lost. Today you sound so much better - grounded. The withdrawls and the body adjusting might take time, but you are doing the best thing by going to a counselor and researching follow up techniques.

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I know your husband and children are happy to have you back!
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Old 05-15-2013, 07:35 PM
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Mid, just please stick with it. The beauty of this situation is that it can and will only get better. If you got some sleep, that's a great sign. If you can type here, that's even a better sign.

Just don't go back. Once you've gone basically cold turkey, the only course for Benzo Heads like us is to keep marching. It gets better. It's just one of those bad situations that you have to give time to heal.

You gotta give time -- time.

I detoxed from an equivalent dosage of 400 milligrams of Valium a day (my prescribed drug was Klonopin).

If I would have followed recommended tapering schedules it would have taken me years to get clean. Years. And I am sure I would have fallen and reinstated higher doses and never, ever, gotten sober.

For an addict like me, cold turkey was the only route to go. And the ironic beauty in that is that the horrors I experienced keeps me sober.

Sometimes fear is the greatest motivator.

I could go back and scream about how my doctors didn't know squat about benzo detox, but the truth of the matter is I had to face what I had to face to get clean. Believe me, if a wimp like me can survive and heal, you certainly can. You're strong, brave, and committed. Keep at it. Please.
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Old 05-15-2013, 10:37 PM
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Originally Posted by LiveorDie View Post
So very proud of you! Your last posts before going into detox were so emotional and you sounded so lost. Today you sound so much better - grounded. The withdrawls and the body adjusting might take time, but you are doing the best thing by going to a counselor and researching follow up techniques.

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I know your husband and children are happy to have you back!
Thanks. I don't know how my posts are even coming across literate. My hands are shaking so much. I can't write with a pen to save myself at the moment, thank goodness for autocorrect on the iPhone I guess

Thanks alot
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Old 05-15-2013, 10:40 PM
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Originally Posted by MemphisBlues View Post
Mid, just please stick with it. The beauty of this situation is that it can and will only get better. If you got some sleep, that's a great sign. If you can type here, that's even a better sign.

Just don't go back. Once you've gone basically cold turkey, the only course for Benzo Heads like us is to keep marching. It gets better. It's just one of those bad situations that you have to give time to heal.

You gotta give time -- time.

I detoxed from an equivalent dosage of 400 milligrams of Valium a day (my prescribed drug was Klonopin).

If I would have followed recommended tapering schedules it would have taken me years to get clean. Years. And I am sure I would have fallen and reinstated higher doses and never, ever, gotten sober.

For an addict like me, cold turkey was the only route to go. And the ironic beauty in that is that the horrors I experienced keeps me sober.

Sometimes fear is the greatest motivator.

I could go back and scream about how my doctors didn't know squat about benzo detox, but the truth of the matter is I had to face what I had to face to get clean. Believe me, if a wimp like me can survive and heal, you certainly can. You're strong, brave, and committed. Keep at it. Please.
That's what I was thinking, I saw that it was taking people 6 months to get off 2mg a day of Valium and I was thinking, I just can't do that from my dose. Also I felt I needed to go into detox because I was still using painkillers by the handful and drinking.

But this is so awful too. I wish I had never found those stupid Benzos.

I have this sort of lying with my eyes shut sleep where I really feel awake. I'm just so used to passing out that putting myself to sleep is a foreign concept.

And my Teeth. I can't stop grinding them. My gums are cramping up!
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Old 05-15-2013, 10:44 PM
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Glad your husband is supportive, and I am sure your kids are excited to have you back!!!
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Old 05-15-2013, 10:47 PM
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He is really good and the kids are happy yea. I just want to be able to play with them and actually look after them.
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Old 05-15-2013, 11:03 PM
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That will happen, sometimes we need to be a little selfish for a while so we can be there for our kids.
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Old 05-15-2013, 11:18 PM
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MLC,

Ask your dentist about making a night guard for your teeth. I've been getting them for years and it makes a huge difference! last one I got was $80. USD. They take an impression of your teeth and make a little thing to slip over your teeth. I forget I have it in half the time, it's that comfortable. I always wear it at night and during stressful periods I will wear it during the day too.

it keeps my jaws and neck from hurting with the clenching and protects my teeth from wear. look into it!

Love from Lenina
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Old 05-15-2013, 11:57 PM
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A dentist! Gosh, haven't seen one in years, lol. Thanks, I should do that. My teeth are really small from so my speed and meth induced grinding when I was younger so I probably shouldn't let them get any smaller. Not a single hole though, amazingly. Anyway, off topic. Thanks for the tip.
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