wackybunny

Many people would not guess that I have a problem with pot. I seem like a bright, health conscious and fairly successful person. But most evenings are spent on the couch, too stoned to do anything.

I've smoked pot almost every day for 20 years. I am totally addicted and stopping for even a day is quite a challenge. My husband is addicted too and that doesn't help because when we withdraw, we get random raging anger, fight, cry, then decide to go get more so we don't break up.
As long as 15 years ago I knew that I had a problem and that pot wasn't working for me but there was nothing it seemed I could do about it, I feel almost helpless like no matter how strong my intention is, at some point I always give in and make the choice to seek it out.

When friends flippantly say that it's not addictive and there is no withdrawal, I feel frustrated at not being taken seriously. Why else would I spend hours searching the house looking for tiny scraps of weed that might have fallen between floor boards, scraping the pipe for nasty tar to spread on paper ever time I run out and can't get more. Then the tears come, the anxiety, the depression, the feeling that life will never be fun again, the fear that I won't want to paint or garden without being stoned... I've never known another way!

doggonecarl

Welcome to SR. I understand your dilemma. An all-day-every-day pot smoker myself, for 10 years. I quit meth easier than I quit pot. But I had an awakening when I realized that my pot smoking created a black, gaping hole in my life where nothing of substance was getting accomplished.

When I quit I was able to go to college, get a degree, then a graduate degree. All because pot was no longer the center of my universe. Wish I had quit drinking at the same time.

Is your husband going to join you in recovery? I had to lose all my pot smoking friends--ALL--in order to succeed. Might sound difficult, but it's essential. Nothing can break down one's committment to quit than having another pot head push a joint on you.

Good luck.

wackybunny

Thanks for understanding. My husband wants to quit too, thankfully. Will be hard to avoid being passed a joint, might have to avoid many friends. Sad but I think you are right. When we're jonesing, it's easy to find a reason to visit friends who we know always have it. Then we fee like we're using our friends, yet another reason to get out of the grip of addiction.

ScottFromWI

Good luck Wacky. I was a very recreational pot smoker in the past, fortunately it never got the grip on me that alcohol did. Addiction is addiction though, and I"m glad you are trying to make a change for the better.

Marijuana has it's own little cult following of those who scream to the mountaintops that it's not addicting and such, which makes it even more difficult as some folks don't even view it as a bad thing. I even have a good friend who's an AA lifer and Sponsor who has been on what he calls the "Marijana Maintenance Plan" for years. He absolutely thinks that his sobriety from alcohol and his daily smoking have nothing to do with each other. Fortunately I don't think he encourages those he sponsors to take up smoking pot as an alternative, but it still seems kind of ironic.

Anyway, I think for the most part everyone here at SR is in the business of helping others get sober, no matter what your DOC is. Best of luck and let us know if there is anything we can do to help

CharlieNoogan

What I discovered about quitting pot was that the withdrawals (insomnia, lack of appetite, depression/anxiety, vivid dreams) and the obsession to use go away rather quickly, within 1-2 weeks. Of course, YMMV.

What worked for me was finding activities to fill the time that I usually spent couch-locked. Don't give into the temptation to replace pot with alcohol. I made that mistake myself and was a full-fledged alcoholic within a year.

You can give this up. You and your husband may need to be very respectful of each other and have some physical space during the initial WD phase so that you can avoid the temptation to revert back to using. Good luck, stick around, read, post. Welcome to SR!

wackybunny

Thanks for the replies, it does help.
I do think that pot seems fine for most people. The trouble is when people like me find it at 15 and live in a foggy haze their whole lives, only partly achieving what they could/want to because they are too stoned/paranoid to even imagine filling out intimidating applications or putting in great effort to grow their business. It freaks me out that almost every adult thought I've ever had has been processed by a stoned mind. What does that do to personal development?
I've quit twice, once for 7 months and once for 2. The physical symptoms did go away but I still could not adjust to the sober mind. I was depressed and thought about pot most of the time, wondering how I could sneak it. My boyfriend at the time gave me ultimatum to quit but we know how that turned out. Lately the most I manage is a few days of nail biting abstinence.
But I'm trying again. Each time seems harder because I reckon I've developed a habit of giving in to it. But one day(I'm 37 now), I'll be that grown up who isn't a stoner...

wackybunny

And Scott, I too wonder about using "friendly" marijuana as a replacement because it is swapping addictions and not dealing with the avoidance of sobriety. I used to get drunk when I couldn't get weed but luckily it does not seem to fill the void inside. However, I understand the danger of thinking it's harmless so I'll avoid it to be on the safe side.

Dee74

Welcome wackybunny

I smoked for 30 years - I too fell to my hands and knees regularly looking for crumbs.

It wasn't easy getting off, and staying off, but I did it...eventually...with a side detour to alcoholism along the way.

Like Carl suggested I had to change a lot of things, but it was and still is worth it

D

Mountainmanbob