Day 3 cocaine kick - looking at what ive done to my self.
 

Urgh, day 3 clean. Got up for work and felt ok until I started putting on my make up. I've really damaged myself on the outside and it's hard to see. I've only had an addiction for 1 year but it was really bad, on average 2 grams a day.

I have a really bad tooth, half of it has fallen away. My skin is dry and spotty, all round my mouth, probably from all the cigarettes I smoked. My hair is so dry and I haven't had it cut for over a year either. I started biting my nails again.

This might sound a bit superficial but I work in fashion and your appearance is important. I think I've probably aged myself by 3 years in this last year. I don't have money to spend on anything, not even a new mascara.

I feel so stupid coming to this forum and moaning about how I look, I'm sorry - I know it seems pathetic. I still haven't shared my story so this is easier for me. I'll put something down - I spent all of my work bonus £5k, on debt and drugs. That wasn't the plan.

You have 3 days clean. That is definitely something to celebrate!! Congrats. If it makes you feel a little better I need new mascara too. :)

That made me smile! It's so stupid, just 1 gram of cocaine would buy me a years worth of mascara! Xx

You will sort everything out...and you will in all likelihood look better in a week or two.

Get that tooth seen to tho - bad teeth are the worst.

D

Thank you, that really made me smile! Only a fellow woman would understand how pathetic you feel not being able to buy a mascara x

Hi, Lonelyone10. Welcome to SR!

You are not pathetic, it's great you came here for help. And thank you for your post - I need a new mascara too, but I feel ashamed to tell this anyone).

Congrats on 3 days clean.

Keep posting here, it helps a lot.

Oh goodness. I have become very vain since getting sober. But I also look great. Try not to stress too much, do what you can and good things are on the way.

day 3 Wooo :)

Keep it going on .

Bestwishes, M

You can do this
 

Riky here , 30 plus years a cocaine addict . I am not well yet but getting there with the help of people here on SR . Stay here , we're here for you . I can relate to the debt thing ain't it the worst. Spending on using and letting things go. Bills , appearance , everything. You can do this.

Thanks trickyricky, at the moment I feel ok because I have zero money and no choice but to go clean. I worry about pay day but hopefully by then my 2 weeks sober will be a real incentive to stay away from the dealers. Thanks for the support x

I am constantly lured my mascAra that promises longer lashes. I'm always shelling out for ones that promise the earth.
Then I feel let down when they don't do what they said.
I always end up with a max factor 2000 calorie one, that I have used for last 10 years

Could always save them for you?
About 5 Rimmels ones, 2 benefit and lost count of the lies maybelliene have told me!!!
But you would have to make me a promise to never to near your dealer again!

Be proud of the 3 days sober that you have. Good for you, and I'm sure that your appearance will begin to improve soon.

Thanks guys, it all sounds very shallow from my end, but I'm glad you understand where I'm coming from. Looking nice makes you feel nice and I need to feel nice right now.

The best mascara ever - Dior Diorshow Extase Mascara! Makes them full and plump!

I know someone who took cocaine for a few years and she had lines down the side of her face, months after she stopped those lines are gone and she is back to being beautiful :) It will work out for you i assure you :) You are doing GREAT!!

What time does house of Fraser shut?
Can I make it before nursery shuts?!!!!!
Xx

Congratulation on 3 days - thats a big achievement :)

Like you I am also from London and a have a cocaine problem.

Unfortunately there is no magic cure but keeping working hard on your recovery and believe me when I say that life improves.

There are lots of CA meetings (even female only) in London, why not give one a try.

If you need any advice (non make up related) then let me know and I'll try to help :)

You are doing a fabulous job. Keep up the good work. Its not vain to worry about your appearance. I was constantly worried that people could tell that I was hungover. Im sure i smelled that way. New Mascara can make a girl feel like a million dollars. On payday, you should reward yourself with Mascara, and a new lipstick.... Keep on Keepin on!

( oh, and set that dental appointment. Teeth are very important)

Good luck in your recovery. If you find it too much to handle, the good people at your local NA/CA group(s) will be able to help. england can help you.

All the best.

Bob R

Thanks guys, I'm doing pretty well at the moment but as I say pay day will be hard. Day 3/4 seems to be when you start feeling good with yourself and thinking 'I deserve a treat....'

Glad I've got everyone here to get me through day 4 tomorrow! X

Keep up the good work! Drink lots and lots of water for your skin - it helps a lot with the dryness.