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3 plus years and I've slipped

Old 05-12-2013, 01:43 PM
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3 plus years and I've slipped

I've been sober for over 3 years. In that time I have achieved a lot. However I took a very stressful job and I've relapsed this weekend. I have struggled with this most of my 40 years. I'm terrified of going thru withdrawals again. I'm scared. I know I'm not alone in this but I feel like the loneliest guy on Earth right now.
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Old 05-12-2013, 01:47 PM
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Jfred, I am so sorry to hear that. I'm 2 years 8 months, and I to have achieved a lot. Everything has been going good for me for some time now, but there are changes on the horizon, so I better stay alert. Rootin for ya.
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Old 05-12-2013, 01:49 PM
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I want to tell you one of my favorite quotes:
"One of the most common causes of failure is the habit of quitting when one is overtaken by temporary defeat"

I'm sure you feel horrible but you know how to do this. You only had drinks for few days, right? If you stop now the withdrawals shouldn't be as bad as if you continue drinking for weeks, months or years.
Just dust yourself up and get back on it.

You are not alone
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Old 05-12-2013, 01:53 PM
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Over 3 years is not an easy thing to do in my book or even with non-alcoholic people. You didn't lose a job or got arrest, just a weekend. Just keep it to that and learn from it and move on. That's all you can do about it now.
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Old 05-12-2013, 01:56 PM
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I have only been sober 12 days but I have been clean from other drugs for a year, Xanax and cannabis 42 days but sober from everything 12. Don't let your slip discourage you, just pick yourself up and keep going. Easier said then done but 3 years is a long time. I am encouraging you to stick with sobriety. When I relapsed April 30 I wanted to throw in the towel but I thought ofmy life and how unmanageable it had become. I'm going to stay sober this time or die trying.
It is really hard for me as all my friends and family use one thing or another. I'm alone in my sobriety that us why I got on this forum and post 2 or 4 times a day. This is my only source of being with others in the same situation. I have tried to call other sober people but no one has called me back. I'm glad I found this support system or I may be drinking or using again.
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Old 05-12-2013, 02:00 PM
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Thanks for the replies! I would warn anyone of thinking they have it beat. I just thought that this job would be the one I grew old with, lol. I'm also dealing with rejection from the one woman I have truly loved. I'll get back on track but this is just a really rough patch for me. Two days does not diminish all of the wonderful things I have achieved. My perception is still not where I want it to be. I have been working 7 days a week 6am to midnight and I thought I could handle it. I have to remember to keep my Superman cape in the closet.
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Old 05-12-2013, 02:02 PM
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Welcome to SR Fred

I am sorry you slipped but you did well for those three years... what were you doing that was working well? How were you able to stay sober that long. I figure that at some point you learnt that drinking isn't a viable coping strategy for stress, at least not for people like us. What has been lacking in your support structure that made you drink again? x
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Old 05-12-2013, 02:08 PM
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Originally Posted by jfred1610 View Post
Thanks for the replies! I would warn anyone of thinking they have it beat. I just thought that this job would be the one I grew old with, lol. I'm also dealing with rejection from the one woman I have truly loved. I'll get back on track but this is just a really rough patch for me. Two days does not diminish all of the wonderful things I have achieved. My perception is still not where I want it to be. I have been working 7 days a week 6am to midnight and I thought I could handle it. I have to remember to keep my Superman cape in the closet.

Yah doesn't matter how long sober any of us have, we are all just one bad choice away from a drink or drug. Learn from it, don't beat yourself up. be grateful no serious consequences.

Try to review when it was that the thought of drinking was beginning to sound like an option in your mind. It was probably awhile before you actually picked up. For me when I relapsed it was about 3 weeks earlier that I began thinking about alcohol and romancing the drink, that is when I needed to address the thinking and talk to another alkie in recovery and tell on myself. Whenever I am thinking about drinking I need to tell someone in SR , my sponsor, or someone in AA.

Those little secrets are what keep us sick.

As long as you learned right?
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Old 05-12-2013, 02:13 PM
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Welcome jfred!

You'll find a lot of support here on SR.

First things first - withdrawls & reducing associated anxiety.

We can't give medical advice, but we are here, have been through this, and will be here for you. Talk to us about what's going on. What are you afraid might happen? Do you know what medical facility you will call if you start to have issues?

Relapsing, if used as a point of learning, can often be a wake-up call that enhances sobriety. It's an opportunity to reflect on what wasn't working and make some adjustments. This is a step in your recovery journey to take it to the next level if you choose to view it that way.

The only way forward is threw (through? - I can't spell), step by step.
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Old 05-12-2013, 02:20 PM
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Hey jfred

Sorry to hear about the relapse. As you know the most important thing is to get straight back on the wagon with us. If you do that I'm sure you'll soon settle down again and the weekend will be just another "war story" you can look back on.

All the rest of you - squeeze up, and make room for one more on the wagon.
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Old 05-12-2013, 02:42 PM
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Second chance

Look, I just went through withdrawal 30 days ago, it lasted ten days with the first three days very horrible. You have had such a good three years that I can promise you, bite the bullit NOW, and you will have a very mild and short hangover type recovery. Let it continue and you risk your life. Which is better?
two or three days of mild discomfort, or years of pain?
Choose with ALL of your wisdom, today. Wake up tomorrow happy with your choice. Get some pain killers, lots of fluid, you favorite sweets and comfort food and get your sobriety back. You dont need luck, just do it.
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Old 05-12-2013, 03:19 PM
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to a very friendly supportive place.
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Old 05-12-2013, 03:20 PM
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I'm hoping some sleep will get me back on track. I hate having this disease, life is tough enough.
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Old 05-12-2013, 04:00 PM
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Tabasco "get some painkillers" ??? To me personally that would be scary advice but you may be talking about aspirin? Pain killers to me would be some oxy and that would be MY downfall.
I don't want to step on anyone's toes and probably thinking wrong but had to put that out there
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Old 05-12-2013, 04:11 PM
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Originally Posted by jfred1610 View Post

I've been sober for over 3 years.

twice I was right at the 3 year sober point
when I went back out
yes I kicked myself in the rear end
but
you can do it one more time
just as I did

this time I'm grateful -- something that I did not truly understand before
and have over 5 years sober
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Old 05-12-2013, 04:28 PM
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Originally Posted by deeker View Post
Yah doesn't matter how long sober any of us have, we are all just one bad choice away from a drink or drug.
Well, not really.

I've been sober for many years now, and I'm not just one bad choice away from a drink. When first starting out, sure. Addiction ambivalence is a real struggle to get past. But once past, sobriety is a done deal for those who don't ever want to get drunk again - like me.

There is a world of difference between an accomplished mature sobriety and just starting out. I want people to know that long time sobriety is not so easily lost as making a bad choice. For myself, I can always see any future drinking possibilities well before they ever get close enough to actually happen -- so its really impossible for me to make that so-called bad choice -- unless I purposely planned it.

I am a recovered alcoholic drug addict. RECOVERED.

Sorry you drank, Fred. Whatever kept you not drinking for three years is still with you. Quit again, even though the withdrawals might be nasty. You can quit again.
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Old 05-12-2013, 04:34 PM
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I knew it was coming but something told me I could handle it. I was wrong
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Old 05-12-2013, 04:38 PM
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Originally Posted by jfred1610 View Post
I knew it was coming but something told me I could handle it. I was wrong
Yeah. That "something" is also called planning to get a drink sooner or later. Unfortunately, your plan worked, and you got your drink.

You can make a plan to not drink too, as you know.

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Old 05-12-2013, 05:51 PM
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Welcome to SR jfred1610

Whats done is done, I think.
It's what you do now thats important

D
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Old 05-12-2013, 07:47 PM
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jfred - ^^^what Dee said. Ditto. Don't look back, it was unfortunate but cannot be changed. Accept it and change what you can by not drinking again

Your 3 years are not lost, don't let a few days derail all of your progress. Learn from it. Life, even for non-alcoholics is about making choices and sometimes we make the wrong ones. There's a reason the saying "live and learn" has been around so long!

Be well, hopefully you will just have mild hangover symptoms and be right back on the wagon.
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