Blogs


Notices

3 plus years and I've slipped

Old 05-12-2013, 07:59 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Grateful
 
Grungehead's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 1,760
Blog Entries: 1
Fred,

I was sober for 7 years and relapsed for a year. I got sober again for 7 years. I relapsed again and stayed out there for 7 years (7 is not my lucky number lol). Today is 25 days sober for me. Take my advice and jump back on the sobriety wagon while the damage is minimal. The longer you stay out there drinking the worse it gets. There had to be a pretty good reason for me to get sober again after 7 years of drinking. When I look at all of the sober time I had the guilt and self-loathing can really get bad, so I am preaching "one day at a time" to myself and anyone else that will listen. When it comes down to it one day at a time is how I got most of those 7 years each time. It's when I stopped doing the things I learned in recovery that I eventually drank again. I have swallowed my pride and decided that's it's not too late to start over.
Grungehead is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Grungehead For This Useful Post:
deeker (05-12-2013), jfred1610 (05-13-2013), LookingOut (05-13-2013), neferkamichael (05-13-2013), Tammy47 (05-13-2013), visch1 (05-13-2013)
Old 05-12-2013, 08:13 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
Learning to live again
 
Hevyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 41,686
Hi Jfred. It's great to have you join the family.

I had 3 years sober once & decided I could have a few once in awhile. I ended up drinking another 7 years - and very bad things happened before I came here and got help. At least you've had the sense to limit the damage, and you've reached out for help. Glad to have you with us.
Hevyn is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Hevyn For This Useful Post:
deeker (05-12-2013), EternalQ (05-13-2013), LookingOut (05-13-2013), neferkamichael (05-13-2013)
Old 05-12-2013, 08:17 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Gulf Coast, Florida USA
Posts: 5,731
Blog Entries: 22
Originally Posted by nowme View Post
Tabasco "get some painkillers" ??? To me personally that would be scary advice but you may be talking about aspirin? Pain killers to me would be some oxy and that would be MY downfall.
I don't want to step on anyone's toes and probably thinking wrong but had to put that out there
I thought the same thing.
deeker is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to deeker For This Useful Post:
neferkamichael (05-13-2013)
Old 05-12-2013, 08:21 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Gulf Coast, Florida USA
Posts: 5,731
Blog Entries: 22
Originally Posted by RobbyRobot View Post
Well, not really.


I've been sober for many years now, and I'm not just one bad choice away from a drink. When first starting out, sure. Addiction ambivalence is a real struggle to get past. But once past, sobriety is a done deal for those who don't ever want to get drunk again - like me.

There is a world of difference between an accomplished mature sobriety and just starting out. I want people to know that long time sobriety is not so easily lost as making a bad choice. For myself, I can always see any future drinking possibilities well before they ever get close enough to actually happen -- so its really impossible for me to make that so-called bad choice -- unless I purposely planned it.

I am a recovered alcoholic drug addict. RECOVERED.

Sorry you drank, Fred. Whatever kept you not drinking for three years is still with you. Quit again, even though the withdrawals might be nasty. You can quit again.
Maybe you didn't read the rest of my post.
deeker is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to deeker For This Useful Post:
neferkamichael (05-13-2013)
Old 05-12-2013, 10:26 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
Member
 
MythOfSisyphus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,298
Don't beat yourself up to much. Obviously a relapse isn't good but it's not the end of the world, either. Just resolve to do better from now on. Your three years of sobriety aren't gone and you still have all the wisdom you've gained in those years.
MythOfSisyphus is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to MythOfSisyphus For This Useful Post:
LookingOut (05-13-2013), neferkamichael (05-13-2013)
Old 05-13-2013, 04:17 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 19
I'm really struggling this time. The anxiety is making me nuts. I'm not sure if I should go to the hospital or try to tough it out.
jfred1610 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to jfred1610 For This Useful Post:
LookingOut (05-13-2013), neferkamichael (05-13-2013)
Old 05-13-2013, 05:31 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 189,106
Blog Entries: 1
If you're concerned and you think you need help, I think that would be a good decision to seek that help jfred.

D
Dee74 is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
EternalQ (05-13-2013), LookingOut (05-13-2013), RobbyRobot (05-13-2013), visch1 (05-13-2013)
Old 05-13-2013, 06:06 AM
  # 28 (permalink)  
Adventures In SpaceTime
 
RobbyRobot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Originally Posted by deeker View Post
Yah doesn't matter how long sober any of us have, we are all just one bad choice away from a drink or drug. Learn from it, don't beat yourself up. be grateful no serious consequences.

Try to review when it was that the thought of drinking was beginning to sound like an option in your mind. It was probably awhile before you actually picked up. For me when I relapsed it was about 3 weeks earlier that I began thinking about alcohol and romancing the drink, that is when I needed to address the thinking and talk to another alkie in recovery and tell on myself. Whenever I am thinking about drinking I need to tell someone in SR , my sponsor, or someone in AA.

Those little secrets are what keep us sick.

As long as you learned right?
Sure I read the whole of your post, Deeker, why wouldn't I? The rest of the post doesn't make any difference to my posting my earlier response to your:

"Yah doesn't matter how long sober any of us have, we are all just one bad choice away from a drink or drug."

I appreciate your share, Deeker. I don't agree with it is all I'm saying. Is that really a problem for you?

Telling on myself would not have kept me sober, speaking personally. Not having plans to drink is what, in part, keeps me sober. As well, my alcoholism sickness exists whether I keep little secrets or not, it couldn't care less either way.

Anyways, I'm not against what your sharing Deeker, its yours to share. I'm just sharing something different. Something that worked and works for me.

Its when you said "any of us" .... well, it simply isn't the case. Here I am, and I'm much more then a couple of "bad choices" away from any drink.

Have a good day, Deeker.
RobbyRobot is offline  
Old 05-13-2013, 06:33 AM
  # 29 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: CAPE COD, MA
Posts: 1,020
Originally Posted by RobbyRobot View Post
Well, not really.
I am a recovered alcoholic drug addict. RECOVERED.
I'm in the process of recovering from my isms and I don't think even working on my 35th year will I be recovered. In my mind if I'm recovered I could drink in safety. I continue to need to work on the REASONS I drank and when they are all fixed perhaps I'll be recovered. JMHO BE WELL
visch1 is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to visch1 For This Useful Post:
LookingOut (05-13-2013)
Old 05-13-2013, 06:52 AM
  # 30 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 19
I just can not believe I did this again. I am embarrassed and I feel horrible. My mind is racing thinking of all the consequences.
jfred1610 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to jfred1610 For This Useful Post:
24hrsAday (05-13-2013), LookingOut (05-13-2013)
Old 05-13-2013, 06:58 AM
  # 31 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: CAPE COD, MA
Posts: 1,020
Hi. Your now living the reason I'm strong on the phrase "If we don't pick up the first drink we don't have to get sober again." I know it doesn't fix it now so hang in there. It took me too long to get that message into my thick skull. BE WELL
visch1 is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to visch1 For This Useful Post:
LookingOut (05-13-2013)
Old 05-13-2013, 07:04 AM
  # 32 (permalink)  
Member
 
24hrsAday's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Living in Today!
Posts: 3,624
Originally Posted by jfred1610 View Post
I just can not believe I did this again. I am embarrassed and I feel horrible. My mind is racing thinking of all the consequences.
i have been right there jfred.. one day at a time.. (one hour at a time if you must) i did end up in the Emergency room at the end of my last week long spree back in 2007' i believe it saved my life.
24hrsAday is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to 24hrsAday For This Useful Post:
LookingOut (05-13-2013)
Old 05-13-2013, 07:05 AM
  # 33 (permalink)  
Adventures In SpaceTime
 
RobbyRobot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Originally Posted by visch1 View Post
I'm in the process of recovering from my isms and I don't think even working on my 35th year will I be recovered. In my mind if I'm recovered I could drink in safety. I continue to need to work on the REASONS I drank and when they are all fixed perhaps I'll be recovered. JMHO BE WELL
I hear you, and if that is okay for you, your opinion is no problem for me.

Recovered for me has nothing to do with can I drink safely or not. There is no "cure" for my alcoholism illness, and I have accepted this plain and simple truth for decades now. My life however, can still be recovered, even though my alcoholism yet exists.

I look at what and where I was when I quit, and what and where I am today, and have been for decades now, and absolutely I have recovered. Future ability and allowance for drinking has nothing to do with my being recovered, and shouldn't for any one else either, is my opinion. Still, it really doesn't matter to me if your still recovering, and not recovered. What ever works, you do that, and you'll be successful in your own way.

Me, I'm all done with recovery from alcoholism. I'm RECOVERED.

RobbyRobot is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to RobbyRobot For This Useful Post:
Fallow (05-13-2013), LookingOut (05-13-2013)
Old 05-13-2013, 11:01 AM
  # 34 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Houston area
Posts: 607
Originally Posted by jfred1610 View Post
I'm really struggling this time. The anxiety is making me nuts. I'm not sure if I should go to the hospital or try to tough it out.
I understand because I have been in a cycle of relapse for years. I get a couple years sober, then decide I can drink.

I am learning this time that the anxiety, depression, isolation actually get worse each time. It gets harder to quit, so I am trying to do what I need to do to remember this so that I don't forget and try drinking again.

Sometimes I question whether I need counseling for the anxiety and I don't know why I don't seek help for that. If that is what you need due to your new job, then seek that out instead of drinking.

Practice what was working for keeping you sober and stick with it. Make sure you are in a support group and working the program. I think it gets worse when we relapse because we know we are in denial and rationalizing: we know pure and simple that drinking is wrong for us, but we get stuck. We need to take action to get and stay sober. We need to acknowledge that drinking is bad and is nothing more than bondage for us. True freedom is practicing a recovery program and learning to live free and sober.

I wish you the best. It will get better when you get help and support and make the right decisions, one day at a time.
LookingOut is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to LookingOut For This Useful Post:
jfred1610 (05-13-2013)
Old 05-13-2013, 11:11 AM
  # 35 (permalink)  
Member
 
hypochondriac's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,663
Originally Posted by jfred1610 View Post
I just can not believe I did this again. I am embarrassed and I feel horrible. My mind is racing thinking of all the consequences.
Could you go to a meeting Fred? Or get some other face to face support where you live? x
hypochondriac is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to hypochondriac For This Useful Post:
jfred1610 (05-13-2013)
Old 05-13-2013, 11:17 AM
  # 36 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 19
At this point I don't think I can do it. I'm hurting really bad.
jfred1610 is offline  
Old 05-13-2013, 12:39 PM
  # 37 (permalink)  
Member
 
hypochondriac's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,663
All the more reason to get help Fred. Are you still drinking now? x
hypochondriac is offline  
Old 05-13-2013, 01:16 PM
  # 38 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 14
Just looking for support

I have never made a real attempt at getting sober. Although I want to badly. I am 38 years old, married with a 9 yr old step daughter and I feel like my drinking is getting more and more out on control. I'm damaging relationships and know that if I don't change, eventually will push my wife away as well. I did attend an AA meeting but felt it was actually kind of depressing. Then I did the clinical assessment and of course was deemed an alcoholic but I didn't go any further. I want to do this on my own, but not sure if I can. So I am here just seeking out support/advice.
abefroman is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to abefroman For This Useful Post:
LookingOut (05-13-2013), RobbyRobot (05-13-2013)
Old 05-13-2013, 02:20 PM
  # 39 (permalink)  
Adventures In SpaceTime
 
RobbyRobot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
It became important for me to realize, after I kept returning to drinking after quitting, that my drinking was an example of me still wanting to both quit and yet drink all at the same time. Difficult choices were before me during my times of addiction ambivalence. When drinking is somehow in whatever way still an option to ponder and contemplate, a return to drinking is almost a sure thing, is what I eventually came to believe.

When I finally decided, no matter what, I would not drink again for what ever reason, real or imagined either way -- result?! I didn't drink again, and haven't for decades now.

Still, just not drinking was not enough for me, because I also believe myself to be an alcoholic, and so my beliefs concerning alcoholism requires more be done or else I would be totally unhappy and worse while not drinking. As an alcoholic, drinking was my go to solution for my problems -- "drinking" was not actually my "real" problem: living sober and / or dying drunk was more my "real problem" - not the booze - the booze was my useless solution which stopped working long before I actually quit.

Clearly, I required a different solution for my life challenges, and my alcoholism illness. I chose a spiritual sobriety, as discovered within AA program. Now, I'm in a win-win because my practice of the program has created a real opportunity for a new life for me which has my alcoholism illness checked and in remission. Not cured. I don't require any cure. So, with my alcoholism illness now un-empowered, dead to me and my life, I am free of my alcoholism. I am recovered.

This freedom allows for me to seek out what ever other and endless ways to live my life sans-alcohol. My future is always so bright, I gotta wear shades... wait... that was with a different avatar. [inside joke]

Do I seem humble? I am in fact a humble guy, I'm also a very happy and motivated guy too who knows great success with sobriety, and so my gratitude is showing as enthusiasm for not drinking.

You can successfully NOT drink again. There does NOT have to be relapses or returns to drinking. Drinking is never part of recovery/recovered; -- always, returns to drinking is a part of addiction, and nothing but addiction.

Tough choices when initially putting that last drink down, I know.

No one has to suffer while sober. No one. Suffering is always optional, just like drinking is totally able to be an option by choice, and by choice also not an option, is my experience.

You too can make the right choices.

And for the record, I'm not chained, and somehow enslaved to AA meetings or whatever else. I'm not institutionalised. Its as easy for me to do and live program now as is breathing and eating - its really that easy now after more then 30 years.

I rarely attend meetings, I rarely read the BB, and I rarely need to attend to my alcoholism illness. I'm recovered, and my life speaks for itself in that regard. I've been thru good times and bad, poor and rich, divorce and re-marriage, disability and health, and on and on -- no matter what, I happily never drink. And I never will drink either. I stopped white-knuckling 30 years ago.
RobbyRobot is offline  
Old 05-13-2013, 03:29 PM
  # 40 (permalink)  
Member
 
hypochondriac's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,663
Welcome to SR abefroman Feel free to start your own thread too x
hypochondriac is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to hypochondriac For This Useful Post:
abefroman (05-15-2013)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:23 AM.