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Road ahead of me

Old 05-12-2013, 02:49 AM
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Road ahead of me

Hi guys, Not sure where to start really! I am 27 years old male and for the last 18 months i have been drinking heavily every day, around 6 pints of beer atleast and sometimes a few double whiskey's on top! I really feel like it is time to stop the drinking and try and get my life back on track, the only problem for me is i have an emotional dependancy on alcohol, the reason as to why i drink so much is to cover up hurts ( bad break up 18 months ago ) I have tried during this year and a half to quit but i only manage to get past day 1 and then i am back on the bottle again because i just cant deal with my reality. I was such a handsome guy ( i hope i dont sound arrogant ) but now i just look dreadfull!!! I have dark circles under my eyes, my eyelids are swollen up and my skin colour just looks a deathy pale white! i DONT look the same from 18 months ago! Anyways just wondering if there are any tips or advice you guys can give me to help me quit for good? Oh and also if i do manage to stop drinking, will the dark circles go? It really does bother me and has knocked my confidence big time!

Thanks everyone i really appreciate it
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Old 05-12-2013, 02:57 AM
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Welcome to SR! A lot of us used to drink to deal with emotional issues. Or at least we thought we did at the time. Over time the alcohol isn't deal with your problems, it is your problem.

The old test is, if you think you have a problem you probably do! Taking a break from drinking is probably a good idea. It sounds like you've drank enough for long enough that you maybe don't really know how you'll feel without the booze. There are other ways to deal besides drinking, but you can't really experiment with them until you stop.

SR is a great resource! I think you'll like it here.
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Old 05-12-2013, 03:01 AM
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Thanks MythOfSisyphus

I do enjoy walking my dog getting fresh air into my lungs, that helps boost my mood for a bit, i guess i should just try and take one day at a time! I hear people say the gym is a good idea too, so maybe i should give that a go! I dont really suffer from physical withdrawls or atleast nothing too nasty! More of a mental thing for me! I am OBSESSED with alcohol but i just can not live like this anymore, this is no life for me! So i am goona try my hardest to turn it all around and make a success out of my life!

Thank you for the kind and warm welcome
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Old 05-12-2013, 03:20 AM
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Hi Chilled, now that you've reached that point of being sick to death of your lifestyle, the only thing holding you back is fear of doing without alcohol in your life. I was the same; I couldn't imagine not having the comfort of that first drink, the rush it gave me, and the habits I got into, looking forward to starting every night. But like you, I came to the point where I knew if I didn't stop I would cross a line in my health and emotional life, and I didn't like what was on the other side. Once I accepted I had to stop, it still took me a couple of weeks to build up the motivation. I talked to my regular doctor, and read lots online to educate myself. I didn't cut down at all because I couldn't and I knew that it had to be total abstinence.
Honestly, making that final decision was the hardest part. There were cravings, and strong pulls to go back to my old habits, but I was able to overcome them with a variety of strategies, and reading and posting on SR.
So make a plan, have a variety of strategies for when it gets hard, keep posting here and give it a try. It will make a huge positive difference to your life.
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Old 05-12-2013, 03:30 AM
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Chilledice, to SR. I certainly hope you get rid of the booze at a young age and not waste a lifetime and spend a fortune doing it. Lots of help here. Rootin for ya.
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Old 05-12-2013, 04:00 AM
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Guys thank you ever so much i really do appreciate it, it gives me hope!

Feeling Great i can totally relate to what you are saying! It is the FEAR that freaks me out i think to myself ' my goodness HOW can i do it, i cant do it! i wont do it ' But now i am goona try and turn my thought process around to positive thinking!

Oh yeah and will those horrid dark circles under my eyes go away? I gotta know because i am being rather vain here lol But vanity is one of the reasons as to why i wanna quit aswell
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Old 05-12-2013, 05:00 AM
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Before I quit I would panic when I was faced with situations where drinking would be difficult or impossible. I would feel a cold sensation of fear when I might not be able drink that day! Needless to say, the idea that I could go a week and simply not drink was alien; it like being told that I could sprout wings and fly if I wanted to.

It's almost impossible to describe how completely that can change, and even harder to explain how quickly it can happen. A couple years ago when I had to return to my old home town for my dad's funeral I had to carefully plan how I would get booze, how I'd manage to drink it and still be up early enough to do all the stuff that I needed to do and how I'd keep everyone from knowing I was drunk. At my dad's funeral! That's the story of someone who's life was completely ruled by alcohol. It's hard to believe that today I don't need the stuff to function.
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Old 05-12-2013, 05:10 AM
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I am sorry to hear about your fathers passing MythOfSisyphus and i am glad that you have managed to turn it all around, it really does inspire me when i read these stories

One of the problems i face when i try and quit is i get reaaaaaaally depressed, just zoned out and totally and utterely in this weird world of sadness and depression so the first thing i do is run to the bottle, But like i say i am goona try and turn it around and switch my mental thinking in a positive manner.
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Old 05-12-2013, 05:15 AM
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Originally Posted by Chilledice View Post
Thanks MythOfSisyphus
I am OBSESSED with alcohol
Hi Chilledice,

I can relate to a lot of what you are saying. I'm 29 and I used to drink to deal with emotions... or so I thought. About the same amount, and all the time I'd just think about alcohol. What to drink, when I could drink...I had a job and would spend all day busting to get out so I could have my first few pints.

Fast forward a few years and I have no job. I progressed to 24hr drinking vodka.
Not a good road to travel.

The Gym is good for mental well being and will help with your physical well being. You can't face your emotional troubles through drink and once you sober up if you still can't, maybe seek some help through your doctor.

Also diet it extremely important. If you put in healthy (veg, fruit, nuts) you'll feel healthy, and if you can avoid munching down sweets when you get sugar cravings you're less likely to get alcohol cravings.

The circles will most likely go when you've had some decent, non-alcohol fuelled sleep.

I hope you stick with us. I'm still new to my sobriety too, 6 days. So if you want to message me any time, feel free and we can help each other out.
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Old 05-12-2013, 05:58 AM
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Thanks Torso i appreciate your feedback.

I have now in the last half hour written a walking plan for me ( what routes to take, time etc ) i have no job at the moment so i have plenty of time on my hands to dedicate to fitness and health

Isnt it strange when it comes to alcohol and sleep! I always used to think that a few jars down my neck would send me to sleep asap! Problem is i always used to wake up at around 5 am after drinking a heap load and i COULDNT get back to sleep! So im goona try and do some walking today, no booze, clean my place up do some washing clothes etc and keep myself busy

Congratulations on 6 days! That takes hard work and effort!

Thanks for the support i appreciate it!
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Old 05-12-2013, 06:12 AM
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Hi chilledice �� I asked about the looks thing too lol I'm on day 23 and the dark circles are much better.not gone, but better :-) just beware the dreaded detox skin breakouts lol they go away too though.good luck with quitting, it really is worth it. My trigger was a break up too. 5 years ago. Don't leave it as long as I did to get on top of this!!
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Old 05-12-2013, 06:14 AM
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P.s the waking early thing is ur liver processing sugars in alcohol causing u to wake due to a bit of a sugar high. It also means u don't get a proper sleep cos u miss out on the all important REM sleep!
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Old 05-12-2013, 06:19 AM
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Vanity sure can be a motivating thing to stop drinking I have spent the last 18 months of my life being depressed about the past, depressed about something i can not change, and the longer i drink the longer i will remain in that dark place so i am hoping to get this sorted out and move forward in my life! ( i also have to take her off the pedestool i put her on )

Lets hope i have some decent sleep tonight without alcohol because i look like a raccoon haha thanks for your advice i do appreciate the feedback
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Old 05-12-2013, 06:21 AM
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No worries mate ��
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Old 05-12-2013, 06:30 AM
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Chilled, be prepared for some problems going to sleep at first, because your body is used to passing out rather than gently drifting into sleep. It might take a while to adjust, but the exercise should help.
You won't be spending on beer so treat yourself to some nice food or juices or whatever instead, so you don't feel deprived.
I strongly suggest you get some professional support if you think depression will be a problem. Maybe set up some appointments with a doctor or counsellor to talk about your progress and any challenges you're facing. And SR of course, lots of support here.
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Old 05-12-2013, 06:39 AM
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Yeah i kinda figured that sleeping without the booze may be a problem for me! ughh i hope i do get some quality sleep tho, its been so long since i have! I truly do look like a raccoon at the moment lol

I dont have much money but what money i do have i spend on booze but im thinking of saving a little each week and maybe take a weekend break somewhere

Going to the doctor tomorrow to talk with him about the situation and see what he says etc

Thanks again everyone for the feedback, it feels great to be able to talk about this and get it off my chest!
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Old 05-12-2013, 07:32 AM
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I am 27 years old and i have an emotional dependancy on alcohol

Alcoholism is progressive. It gets worse. If you keep drinking, as you age you will develop a physical dependency on alcohol.

That sucks at a whole new level.
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Old 05-12-2013, 08:03 AM
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Welcome to the board, chilledice! I was about your age when I really became an alcoholic, but I didn't quit. You can save yourself a lot of regret and anguish down the road, as like Zebra said, it gets worse.

Also, I was told that alcohol is actually a depressant. So, while you think alcohol is helping with your depression, it is actually contributing to it and making it worse. I think it would be best to get off the booze and maybe see a Dr.

I think you are making a wise decision to quit. I am only on day 14, and it has been a long two weeks, but everyday has gotten a little bit better. Also, I sleep like a log (although it takes me a while to fall asleep). At waking up without the hangover and guilt is great. Good luck
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Old 05-12-2013, 08:32 AM
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Yeah i dont wanna be dependant on the booze in a physical manner no way! Iv'e heard the horror stories about it and i do not wnna go through it!!!

I guess i have to realise that there IS a life for me and a happy one and that i will be a success etc
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Old 05-12-2013, 09:16 AM
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Hi, Chilled)

A lot of great advice here, so I'll just add up a little bit that I turned to wine to dumb my emotional pain as well. And I was hell scared. And here I am, almost 7 months sober, still alive). The point is - you can do this too)

Ahhh. Dark circles. I developed some, it drove me crazy. They will gone, not overnight but they will. And it's great that you've decided to quit at 27, while your body and good looks have a lot more chances to recover compared to older age.

Alcohol itself causes depression. So you drink to get rid of it- it brings even more - vicious circle.

Keep your chin up! You are just 27, good looking, the entire life ahead, and great support here on SR. Life is not that bad, after all)

Take care.
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