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Time to Cut Back Again Intro

Old 05-11-2013, 06:18 PM
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Smile Time to Cut Back Again Intro

Hello everyone. I'm new to the forum and new to using a forum as a support helper with my drinking problem. It's been rough. Alcoholism runs in the family and unfortunately I am a functional alcoholic like my dad.

I imagine my case is a bit different from other users but we'll see! I am looking to cut back more than quit all together. When I say cut back I mean maybe having a couple glasses of wine no more than once a week with friends. Definitely want to quit hard liquor all together though.

My reason for wanting to do this is for overall health and mainly weight loss. My weight started shooting up after I quit smoking New Years before last and I found out last year that my estrogen is very high and progesterone very low, which also attributes to my weight issues. As many of you probably know, alcohol increases estrogen, so it's important for me to cut back. I believe smoking balanced the hormonal effects of alcohol because some studies have shown nicotine can block estrogen.

Any who, now I am 25lbs heavier (and 35lbs from my goal weight) and quit running a few months after the weight gain since I became so frustrated with my lack of progress. I had started running in efforts to lose the last 10lbs and was running 5 days a week for a few months. I have also noticed my face and belly have become significantly bloated and frankly I hate looking at myself in the mirror now.

The one time I didn't drink for 4 days my weight went down by 2lbs and behaved the way my diet would work when I still smoked cigarettes and before I started drinking. So I am fairly confident if I cut back drastically on drinking I can lose the 35lbs fairly easily as I have maintained my healthy eating habits for a few years now and have just started to run again.

In summation, I currently drink 3-10 drinks a night, every night, and have been doing this for a couple of years at least. Surprisingly it hasn't effected work (as I said, functional alcoholic). In that span of time I have quit for a month 2 times and once for a measly 4 days. My goal is to have no more than 2 drinks a week and only if I'm out being social (no more drinking alone as I have been doing) and to lose 35lbs! Any advice or shared stories are more than welcome!


~ Valery
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Old 05-11-2013, 06:31 PM
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Welcome,

There is no difference in wine, beer or liquor. Alcohol is alcohol, so it doesn't matter what you're drinking.

If you're an alcoholic, controlling your drinking is not the answer. I think most of us here have tried desperately to control our drinking and it leads to frustration and disappointment. I always ended up worse off than before. Alcoholism is a progressive disease and it will get worse unless you stop drinking.
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Old 05-11-2013, 06:35 PM
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I hope you can find a way to cut back but if not, we're always here to help you on the path to sobriety.
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Old 05-11-2013, 06:53 PM
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I have try controlling my alcohol intake but after a few tries of success, I would always go on a binge of 5 days of heavy drinking. For me, I just could not do it. I can't drink in moderation. I'm pass that point of no return. You maybe different but if you have family history of alcohol abuse then your skating on thin ice.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do. :-)
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Old 05-11-2013, 06:54 PM
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I don't have any advise for cutting down other than to try it. If you can't do it then you have two options. Keep drinking or stop drinking all together. I have never been able to control my drinking beyond a few weeks and I have tried numerous times. It's all or nothing for me. Keep coming back and let us know how you are doing.
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Old 05-11-2013, 06:59 PM
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I am looking to cut back more than quit all together. When I say cut back I mean maybe having a couple glasses of wine no more than once a week with friends. Definitely want to quit hard liquor all together though.
Unfortunately Valery - if you're the kind of drinker I am, this just won't be possible.

I tried for 20 years - cutting back, trying to stick to one or two, drinking only beer, drinking everything but beer, drinking liquors or wine I hated, having a glass of water after every alcoholic drink, eating heavily, drinking non alcoholic beer, carrying a pic of my loved ones in my wallet, snapping a rubber band on my wrist....

Nothing worked - I always returned, sooner or later, to out of control, ground zero.

That's the effect alcohol - any alcohol, had on me.

Nothing worked but cutting out alcohol from my life completely.

Have you tried to cut make or limit your drinking before now?

D
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Old 05-11-2013, 07:05 PM
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Welcome Valery. If you've been drinking 3-10 drinks per day for a few years, cutting back will be very difficult. I don't mean to sound negative, but most of us here have tried and have been unsuccessful. For us, quitting altogether is the best option.

However, if you're willing to put in some effort and have strong will power it may work. There are two organizations that deal with moderation drinking: Moderation Management and HAMS (Harm Reduction for Alcohol). A Google search of each will quickly take you to their websites. Really, if you can cut back dramatically you will be much healthier, and I'm all for anything a person can do to live a healthier life. If that involves cutting back, then so be it.

Of course, please continue here at SR. If you decide to quit for good, or if you need help with urges you will find a lot of judgment free support.
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Old 05-11-2013, 07:09 PM
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Originally Posted by Anna View Post
There is no difference in wine, beer or liquor. Alcohol is alcohol, so it doesn't matter what you're drinking.
I guess we'll have to agree to disagree. Thus far my attempts to cut back are always more successful when I drink beverages with a lighter alcohol content like wine and beer opposed to liquor. Everyone is different of course!

I have had a few successes with cutting back i.e. skipping drinking a day here and there and reducing the number of drinks I have in an evening to 1-3 opposed to 5+. It's harder for me to do it with liquor because the higher alcohol content hits me and it's harder to maintain will power to stop. If I drink lighter drinks slower I manage to hold on to some will power!
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Old 05-11-2013, 07:15 PM
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Anna's actually right - I've tried every kind of alcohol there is and - maybe not right away but sooner or later, the pattern repeated, no matter what it was I was drinking...

Sounds like you're pretty determined on your course of action - I hope you'll keep letting us know how you get on

D
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Old 05-11-2013, 07:24 PM
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Angry

Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
Anna's actually right - but there's no point in arguing....

D
It's not a matter of right or wrong it's an opinion. I'm sorry but there's a difference in drinking straight bourbon (40% alcohol) and having a wine or beer (7% - 13% alcohol). Obviously for some people drinking is going to be drinking and that's fine. As I said earlier, everyone is different. One person might be able to handle being a social drinker if they avoid liquor, doesn't mean the next person can do the same.
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Old 05-11-2013, 07:26 PM
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Thanks for the recommendations FeenixxRising. I will check those out and see about deleting my account here as it seems it's not exactly what I was looking for.

Good luck to you all!
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Old 05-11-2013, 07:30 PM
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Are you aware that alcoholism is progressive?
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Old 05-11-2013, 07:31 PM
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No need to delete your account - we don't delete posts anyway.

Leave it - you may reconsider later - if not, there's no harm done - this is a common topic.

Like I said in my original post, arguing serves no point and gets us nowhere.

I wish you the best

D
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Old 05-11-2013, 07:35 PM
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It seems everyone's been supportive Valery. Speaking from experience is all we can do, and most of us found that "cutting down" isn't an option. Many of us suffered the same delusion as you. The goals you listed are very difficult to achieve, you might want to add "Become President" and "Coach the Lakers" to your list just to up the ante.

This community is very supportive. We are all in the same boat, we want to quit, or have quit, or are trying to quit. You will get support and honest opinions along the way. Maybe you should browse a bit, you're certainly going to find similar questions and stories.
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Old 05-11-2013, 07:46 PM
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Originally Posted by bigsombrero View Post
It seems everyone's been supportive Valery. Speaking from experience is all we can do, and most of us found that "cutting down" isn't an option. Many of us suffered the same delusion as you. The goals you listed are very difficult to achieve, you might want to add "Become President" and "Coach the Lakers" to your list just to up the ante.
I'm not sure support is the right word for it. I am also certain I am not being delusional as I have witnessed my father successfully cut back. If he can do it, so can I. Perhaps we're not true alcoholics but I know some days it feels like I have a hard time saying no. I believe cutting back is a solid option for me because part of the reason I got to the point of drinking this much was depression, which has been treated. I am in a great and happy place in my life so I think it will be easier. Also, previously it didn't effect my weight as much (due to the smoking), so now I have that motivation.
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Old 05-11-2013, 07:53 PM
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Hi Valery. I hope you'll come back if you find it impossible to stick to your plan.
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Old 05-11-2013, 07:53 PM
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I'm curious, how often do you see your father?
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Old 05-11-2013, 07:55 PM
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Originally Posted by choublak View Post
I'm curious, how often do you see your father?
I know were you are going with this and frankly am offended. I was actually living with him for a year. I moved out a month ago when I moved for work.

Like I said earlier, I am starting to think we aren't true alcoholics.
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Old 05-11-2013, 08:17 PM
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I tried Moderation Management, and Harm Reduction. For me personally, "managing" what I drank was far too labor intensive, obsessive and exhausting. It's so much easier to just be done with it all.

No one can tell you what you are or are not, Valery. We can only tell you what we are....and the majority of us are just people who cannot drink any amount, of any kind of alcohol.....any time.

I wish you well.
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Old 05-11-2013, 08:18 PM
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Valery like I said in an earlier post, try to cut back and see if it works. Even the AA Big Book suggests this if someone is not sure if they are alcoholics. If they are successful in cutting back and staying at that level then they probably aren't alcoholics. But if you try to cut back and fail each time you try there is a good chance you are. I was being sincere when I suggested to do some controlled drinking, it's a good way to see if you have a real problem or not. Best of luck to you no matter what you do!
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