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How to deal with a grown recovery drug & alcohol abuser

Old 05-11-2013, 09:58 AM
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How to deal with a grown recovery drug & alcohol abuser

My grown son's problems are numerous. He is 50, married a d the father of 2 teen daughters. He has given up alcohol, but his drug dependency is heavy. He has an illness that is treated w / a variety of pain meds prescribed by an MD. He has and has always had (since a teen) a dependency on alcohol & drugs. My difficulty is knowing how to deal with his moods and his ability to blame me for his problems. I can't get into his head & I'd almost rather not talk to him than try to deal with his moods & blame game. Any advice on reading material to helpnme getxa better understanding of him?
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Old 05-11-2013, 10:22 AM
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Welcome to SR, jordana. I'm sorry your son is dragging you into his problems. I think you will find a lot of support in our Friends and Family forum. Here's a link...

Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

You said, I can't get into his head & I'd almost rather not talk to him than try to deal with his moods & blame game. I can certainly understand you feeling that way, but it isn't his head you need to get the idea into...it's yours. You DON'T have to talk to him when he starts his blame game. You are NOT to blame for his issues, but you will never convince him of that, so, you have to do what is best for you and avoid him when he starts acting that way.

Again, welcome to SR, and please visit the link above. You will find a lot of support here.
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Old 05-11-2013, 12:45 PM
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Do check out that link Suki posted. Lots of experience there. You don't have to interact with your son if he's behaving badly. Don't take his calls, don't talk to him. Work on yourself, the only thing you can change is yourself. You can't change him but you can change how you react to him.
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Old 05-11-2013, 02:32 PM
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Welcome Jordana - I think Suki and Leasts posts say it all really.

I know you'll find a lot of support here

D
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Old 05-11-2013, 06:50 PM
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I will happily read all posts. My daughter has been giving me the same advice and it was she that suggested I contact a group for support.
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