ADD and Alcoholism
 

Good morning friends,

I am back on day 1 and trying to figure out why I went back to the alcohol.

I used to be a binge drinker one or two days a week. When I drank, I would be careful about it. I would always order a cab and get home, never trusted myself and would plan a slow day the following day so that I dont have to do too much. I usually did one day during the week and one day during the weekend. This really cost me dearly in terms of health and respect with family members.

I was sober and trying to understand why I go back to drinking. Based on my conversations with friends and people I know, I have realized that I have ADD. I own a business and am content with what I make and dont have the motivation or need to go and strive harder (grew up quite poor).

My daily routine involves an hour of exercise in the morning. After I do this 3 days in a row, I get such a workout HIGH that I cannot control my thoughts. My mind races at a million miles an hour. During these periods, I am highly efficient and am done with my work in less than 4 or 5 hours and then start getting bored and going crazy. I cant go home and just 'hang out'. Yard work does not interest me.

To solve this boredom, I naturally gravitate towards heading to a bar and having a drink. I have many self employed friends and it is easy for me to find someone to have a beer with at 3 pm. My friends go home at 5 and I find more people to go drinking with. By the time I get home, I am hammered and go through 2 or 3 days of remorse, guilt and anger at myself. Then I start exercising and 4 days later, I go through the same thing again.

I am not able to stop this cycle of behavior. I recently saw a psychiatrist but that did not help. In my opinion, my biggest issue is reducing the natural 'high' and having an even-toned lifestyle.

Any suggestions?

Sorry for the long rant but am trying to figure stuff out for myself. Writing this note helps me understand myself better..

maybe start with an actual diagnosis from a qualified medical professional and listen to their advice?

maybe there are activities you can do that will ease your mind, too

Many of us with other illnesses have resorted to alcohol and drugs a long with medications...not the answer but common

You will get well!

"I was sober and trying to understand why I go back to drinking."

i did it beacuse i am an alcoholic.

"...am trying to figure stuff out for myself."

me,too. didnt work. i stayed drunk. then i got into recovery and used the thinking of people wh had been in my shoes, many of whom also have emotional and mental disorders, but had recovered when they got honest.

i never had a natural high with alcohol.

It's less about a natural high and more about trying to "self medicate" so your mind isn't quite so scattered. I'm not saying it's a good idea, but it is what it is.

I'm of the belief that knowing why you are an alcoholic doesn't keep you sober. Not drinking keeps you sober.

Yes, I wonder if you tried meditation.

Meditating is a great way to slow down your mind and feel more control over your thoughts.