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Inspiring Leadership at a Cost...

Old 05-11-2013, 03:39 AM
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Inspiring Leadership at a Cost...

Hello all,

When you are a very well known person, it's quite extraordinary what 'perfection' people following you will ascribe to your character. It can be a very lonely place.

I was going to go into my personal story a little more, but I'll be brief. I am a somewhat uncommon public figure in an emerging field of work where many thousands place their hopes for better community in my activities. My alcoholism is not only a secret from them, but also a secret from my family - hence until I posted this message, I was very alone with the problem.

I've just discovered SoberRecovery.com as a consequence of a deepening desire to make changes in my personal life. I has become obvious to me that I am now an alcoholic and the truth of that statement was completely evident when on the second night of obstinance for drinking I had the most frightfully unpleasant attempted 'sleep' in my life.

Waking in cold sweats, twitching, terribly odd thoughts on waking of being hit by hundreds of microscopic bits of steel, blood pressure so great I could feel my body pulsing, sore limbs and near insanity. This experience was memorable.

Seven years ago I successfully quit cigarettes after fifteen years of smoking. If you'd asked me a year or two prior that I could manage that I would never have believed it. I'll never smoke again, and smoking represents no bother to me now.

Now I have become an alcoholic and I'm going to overcome this also...

Thanks for reading and for making what looks like a great forum for assisting people with this problem!
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Old 05-11-2013, 04:07 AM
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Alcoholism and addiction certainly do not discriminate.
Welcome to SR InspiringBurden - you'll find a lot of support here

D
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Old 05-11-2013, 04:15 AM
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Good morning inspiring, just "saying" what you said it a gift, acknowledging your own battle if only to yourself ( at least for now) is a great accomplishment. Keep reading and posting it has helped me sooo much I am also a closeted alcoholic I'm 34 upper middle class suburban mom. Only 33 days here but feel incredible I wish you the same! Good luck keep posting
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Old 05-11-2013, 04:29 AM
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Hi and welcome. A first step towards recovery is acknowledging the problem by being honest with ourselves. The next thing is following directions by successful people here and/or AA (shudder) which has helped many millions world wide and has world wide help available in the form of skin meetings. Many people consider stop smoking harder than our other vices so you might succeed. I, especially in the beginning had to accept things I didn't want to, like it's the first drink that gets me drunk, operate on the one day at a time theory, I wanted everything NOW, think about NOT drinking and remember if we don't pick up that first drink we don't have to get sober again one day at a time. All simple things but perhaps not easy all the time. BE WELL
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Old 05-11-2013, 04:31 AM
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Recovery certainly is a gift...best to you
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Old 05-11-2013, 04:35 AM
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Originally Posted by InperfectlyMe View Post
Only 33 days here but feel incredible
Thanks Inperfectly. Prior to quitting smoking way back, what few attempts I'd made prior to my final success lasted less than a month because my addiction to cigarettes was so powerful I'd remain an emotional basket-case throughout 'recovery'. When finally I did quit permanently I was a basket-case for no less than a year - that's what kind of hold nicotine had over me. After a year, I too began to feel incredible and accomplished.

I would say this. Substitute '33 days' to '33 years' in your imagination and look back with fondness at what a struggle it seems waaay back then. In the greater picture of things time does fly and struggles become victories!

Well done and smell the roses - everyday!
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Old 05-11-2013, 04:38 AM
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Originally Posted by wiscsober View Post
:Recovery certainly is a gift...best to you
Thank you Wiscsober! And if recovery is a gift, it would be rude not to accept it!
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Old 05-11-2013, 09:13 AM
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Hi InspiringBurden, Welcome!! As Dee said, addiction does not discriminate and I am so glad you are here and seeking help. Alcoholism is eventually such an isolating disease so this place is an amazing gift. I was also feeling so very alone in the final years of my drinking and afraid to share it with anyone because Washington, DC, despite being the capital, is one of the smallest towns in the world and we all know each other. Particularly those of us with public or semi-public careers, the thought of coming out is terrifying. This place was and continues to be an invaluable resource to me and I hope it is to you as well.

The journey towards sobriety is a complicated one but so, so worth it in the end. The sleeping will get easier. Read around here for other's tips and experiences. And when you get your first good night of sleep without alcohol in your system? Oh boy, wait for it. It is amazing.

Welcome again to this wonderful family, looking forward to getting to know you better!
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Old 05-11-2013, 10:13 AM
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Welcome! I felt relief after opening up about my Alcoholism. It took me a few years to come to terms with it. I still had to experiment, and learn the hard core truth.
I hope that you find that you are supported, understood, and embraced by this forum. We are here for you. Keep posting, and reading. I am sure you will find yourself in a lot of US.
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Old 05-11-2013, 10:20 AM
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Addiction doesn't discriminate but thank goodness neither does recovery!

welcome aboard.
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Old 05-11-2013, 10:48 AM
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Hi IB,

Glad your here. I kinda relate. I own one of the largest businesses in my small town. I kept my drinking/drugging from almost everyone. It is such a relief that I don't have to live with the shame and worry about hiding it all the time.

You have made the biggest step already. Every thought about checking out AA? Recovery isn't just about not drinking. Its about finding out why we drink, and how to deals with those problems so he don't have to drink.

Also, you might go to your Dr. Booze d/ts can be deadly.
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Old 05-11-2013, 01:14 PM
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Pleased to meet you, Inspiring! We're so glad you've joined us.

I had been drinking for 30 yrs. when I came here & finally found the courage to quit. At first I was focused on what I'd be missing - how dull life would be. I had it all wrong. Being numb and foggy isn't fun or interesting. It feels so wonderful to be free. I know you'll never regret making this wise decision. You can do this.
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Old 05-11-2013, 08:06 PM
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Welcome Inspiring!
You have come to the right place.
All of us on SR (SoberRecovery) really do support one another without judgment; just encouragement to keep pressing in one day at a time.
I am 51 days sober and everyday I have come to SR whether it is to look at others success stories, share my own, seeing other being honest in their struggles, etc...
I hope out of all of this, you will see the same thing I have seen, freedom from dependency of alcohol.
What I have chosen to do is not weakness; it is finding new strength in myself. The only person who can help me, is me!
I have found newness in life that I have never experienced from the bottom of a bottle. I find myself laughing and actually believing that I actually can have goodness in my life.
The same goes for you! No matter where you are at in life whether that may be struggling with Alcoholism or even pain, torment, depression, anxiety, feelings of low self-esteem due to drinking, you are still here and you are not what these things make you believe who you are: worthless, useless, out of control, friendless, unlovable, horrible, ugly, disgusting, undesirable; deserve to be trapped in a hole, buried, and left there to starve, decay and be forgotten by the world.
This you are not!
You are ALIVE, worthy, strong, successful, loveable, beautiful, cherished, desirable, changed, accepted.
Your strongest thought becomes reality; even the underlying ones that you are not even aware of will do so. In this way, you become what you think. Now is the time to take ACTION. And the most beneficial action you can take is to become aware about yourself and your thought patterns.
You are not responsible for your first thought, but you are responsible for your next action.
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Old 05-11-2013, 09:25 PM
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Welcome on board plenty people here in similar situations and we will all help you when things get tough
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Old 05-11-2013, 09:37 PM
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Originally Posted by EndStage View Post
Welcome Inspiring!
You have come to the right place.
All of us on SR (SoberRecovery) really do support one another without judgment; just encouragement to keep pressing in one day at a time.
I am 51 days sober and everyday I have come to SR whether it is to look at others success stories, share my own, seeing other being honest in their struggles, etc...
I hope out of all of this, you will see the same thing I have seen, freedom from dependency of alcohol.
What I have chosen to do is not weakness; it is finding new strength in myself. The only person who can help me, is me!
I have found newness in life that I have never experienced from the bottom of a bottle. I find myself laughing and actually believing that I actually can have goodness in my life.
The same goes for you! No matter where you are at in life whether that may be struggling with Alcoholism or even pain, torment, depression, anxiety, feelings of low self-esteem due to drinking, you are still here and you are not what these things make you believe who you are: worthless, useless, out of control, friendless, unlovable, horrible, ugly, disgusting, undesirable; deserve to be trapped in a hole, buried, and left there to starve, decay and be forgotten by the world.
This you are not!
You are ALIVE, worthy, strong, successful, loveable, beautiful, cherished, desirable, changed, accepted.
Your strongest thought becomes reality; even the underlying ones that you are not even aware of will do so. In this way, you become what you think. Now is the time to take ACTION. And the most beneficial action you can take is to become aware about yourself and your thought patterns.
You are not responsible for your first thought, but you are responsible for your next action.
Gorgeous post, EndStage!
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