Frustrations
 

People seem to think that just because im sober now that I'm okay. I'm alright ill be fine. That I don't need support. No one understands how much of a struggle it is. They think since I made the choice to be sober that it should be simple to stay that way. Sober friends are not talking to me anymore because I'm not always up for visiting them.
I do my best to be a good person and friend these days. I'm not fighting or confronting people like I used to. I'm trying so hard to change my life around. Today is a bad day. I've cried, I've screamed and I've punched walls but I didn't drink even tho I really wanted to. The urge to drink and get mad was with me all day long. Since the moment I opened my eyes this morning.
I don't mean to discourage anyone or scare the new comers into thinking sobriety is always hard bc it isn't.there are days when I'm amazed by myself. When I love everything about my choice to be sober, I love how healthy I am. I love how I wake up feeling good and I love myself. Just saying that I love myself calmed me down. I just realized that dwelling on the hate people have for me is only causing me to hate myself for no reason at all. Anger is so easy to get caught up in. I'm going to do my best to stay happy and keep loving myself and others who love me. I enjoy being sober my life is better bc of it. I'm not letting some punk B take that away from me.

People who haven't been through it can struggle to understand.
That's why we have places like SR :)

D

I am inspired and encouraged by your strength Stash, to stay sober and to turn those dark thoughts around. I hope you are feeling a little better. I am still early on in my sobriety, 13 days. Couldn't have done it without SR, it makes me feel I am not alone.

Hate is a strong word. Are there really people who "hate" you? Or are they just people who are disagreeable or insensitive? I can't think of a single person who I actually "hate". Nor, am I aware of anyone who "hates" me. Sure, I dislike some people, but disliking someone is a lot different from "hating".

Anyway, the point to all that rambling is you might be getting worked-up about something that isn't really true. You may think people "hate" you but they may just be people who are unthinking or a bit insensitive to what you're going through. And to be honest, those people will always be around, and there's almost nothing you can do to change their behavior and attitudes. But you can change your attitude, and it sounds like that's exactly what you're doing.

What kind of support are you lacking, and have you asked for it?

You'll always find support here. :hug: We understand.

I have heard before people say "What other people say or think about me is none of my business" or in other words...Haters gonna hate...lol

It is true hate is a strong word. I assume by "punk" there is a certain person that you are referring to. Could it be this person is afraid of the changes you have made? Maybe they feel threatened in some way?

Stash within your own post it sounded like you answered your own dilemma. Keep writing and give yourself permission to be angry and sad. Live yourself for all the good you've done. It's work staying sober and healthy. But the biggest rewards in life are the things we have to continue to work for. The day to day struggles only strengthen your resolve to stay sober. Every craving you negotiate with and come out the winner is a victory and something to be proud of!

Stash, you will get a lot of help here straightening out your situation and others. I had to learn early on after floundering around for 2 years that there is a shite fairy directing our thoughts until we learn not to pay attention/listen to it. That's because our dis-ease is cunning, baffling and insidious. It wants to return the pain of drinking in a sneaky manner and finds many ways to do it. We need tools to overcome. BE WELL

Best to you...but please remember that we are not alone anymore in our illness/recovery....many people (recovering and normies) do understand our struggles.

You are living in the solution and that is fantastic!

I think you are awesome Stash for staying with what you are feeling not giving in to your addiction. I so get it as far as having days like this. It isn't always easy to be sober...to stay sober. It is something that we do think about every day. But think about how lucky we are to be thinking in this positive way...we are activly thinking of ways to healthier and better more productive people in our society. Don't hate on yourself...I think you are wonderful!