New here and feeling lost
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 71
New here and feeling lost
Hi...
I don't know where to begin. I've never had a drop of alcohol in my life. So why come to a recovery board? I'll tell you:
A close friend of mine recently confessed to me that he was an alcoholic. We were in the process of attempting a romantic relationship, and now we're not. He opened up, and told me that he is going into recovery. Thus, he's not able to devote himself to a relationship at this time.
I understood, but I was still hurt. I really care about him. I just feel like there's nothing I can do for him, though. He said that he will get back in touch with me when he is at a more stable point in his life. I told him that I support him through the good and the bad, reminded him that I cared for him (not just as a girlfriend, but as a girlfriend), and made sure he knew I was proud of him.
I have never felt this helpless in my life.
I finally took a step I've been needing to do for a long time. I reached out help. I went to the local Al-Anon meeting place, where I was greeted by an AA member in the office. I just let go and confessed to her: "We're not together at the moment, but I still care about him. I need help so that I can help him if he ever needs me. We may or may not get back together but either way I still need to learn."
Granted, I have my own set of issues. That's why after I left Al-Anon, I went to CoDA. I figured there's no harm in improving myself while he's improving himself.
Which brings me to why I'm here... it's almost a week until there's an Al-Anon meeting I can attend. In the meantime, I want to learn as much as I can. That, and I could use the support. With my friend distancing himself from me, I feel like I'm going at this alone.
Sorry for writing a novel, but
for reading! 
I don't know where to begin. I've never had a drop of alcohol in my life. So why come to a recovery board? I'll tell you:
A close friend of mine recently confessed to me that he was an alcoholic. We were in the process of attempting a romantic relationship, and now we're not. He opened up, and told me that he is going into recovery. Thus, he's not able to devote himself to a relationship at this time.
I understood, but I was still hurt. I really care about him. I just feel like there's nothing I can do for him, though. He said that he will get back in touch with me when he is at a more stable point in his life. I told him that I support him through the good and the bad, reminded him that I cared for him (not just as a girlfriend, but as a girlfriend), and made sure he knew I was proud of him.
I have never felt this helpless in my life.
I finally took a step I've been needing to do for a long time. I reached out help. I went to the local Al-Anon meeting place, where I was greeted by an AA member in the office. I just let go and confessed to her: "We're not together at the moment, but I still care about him. I need help so that I can help him if he ever needs me. We may or may not get back together but either way I still need to learn."
Granted, I have my own set of issues. That's why after I left Al-Anon, I went to CoDA. I figured there's no harm in improving myself while he's improving himself.
Which brings me to why I'm here... it's almost a week until there's an Al-Anon meeting I can attend. In the meantime, I want to learn as much as I can. That, and I could use the support. With my friend distancing himself from me, I feel like I'm going at this alone.
Sorry for writing a novel, but
for reading! 
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,372
Welcome AnonK - you'll find a ton of support here
I also recommend looking at our Family and Friends forums too - lots of support there too
D
I also recommend looking at our Family and Friends forums too - lots of support there too
D
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