Day 2, feeling hopeful
 

Yesterday I made a post titled Hopeless, today I am trying to be Hopeful. I'm on day two, and yesterday I went to two AA meetings in the first time in four years, and all I could think all day is what if I can't make it to meetings every day, what if it doesn't work this time, what if this what if that, it was a very stressful day... Today i am feeling slightly better and I had the same thoughts racing through my head as i drove to work this morning, and somehow it just clicked, that the what if's are simply excuses, if I really want to stay sober I need to focus on what i need to do, and not how I am going to fail with a perfect excuse. And as i'm thinking this the song Home by Phillip Phillips came on the radio, and i've heard it 100 times and really enjoy the song but it took on a new meaning this morning, and it all just kinda clicked that I just need to settle down and stay positive and focus on my recovery and not let the demons fill me with fear of failure, cause if i fear failure i will find an excuse to be a failure.

"Settle down, it'll all be clear
Don't pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found
Just know you're not alone
Cause I'm going to make this place your home"
Phillip Phillips

Hi MaMa, glad your feeling more hopeful today, im on day 3 today after latest slip, also went to a meeting last night. My heads been racing like yours the 'what ifs' especially. Ive been dwelling too much on kicking myself for slipping instead of concentrating on a more positive future- starting with today. I wish you luck.

HI. The mentioning of demon is a big remember when for me. It was my downfall for about 2 years and I'll bet most slipping or slipped alcoholics wanting to get sober. I managed it by going to 2 meetings a day for at least 90 days, constantly thinking about NON drinking, talking to fellowship people and a sponsor every day and staying away from slippery places and people. Hang on, guaranteed we get better. BE WELL

Hi, MaMa, I think most people fail many times before it starts to stick. For me this place worked along with support at home, I think the important thing is to never stop giving up you have a slip be honest with yourself and start again till it works and you have enough knowledge about or around the times you slip. If you can't make a meeting maybe try and think how good it would be to say how great it is to go a few days and still not have picked up. It's no good saying I picked up because ,unless you can either always get to a meeting
Or have another plan , this place is all I needed so you do have support here and due to its international base you can get support 24 hours. Your doing well feel pride , we don't often have much left but you do when you know just how difficult the first few days are.
It gets better and life fills in all the gaps if you let it .
Regards John.

I'm glad you're feeling better MaMa. :) These early days are rough - but you can do this. Things will ease up and you'll feel a bit better each day. You're in the process of getting free - be proud of yourself.

Heck yeah mama! Each day is going get better. No more hangovers and chaos. Hang in there!!!

I've found it doesn't get easier but it gets so much better it makes the work staying sober worth it.