Elisabeth888

A friend from the program invited me to go to dinner with her and her friends for her birthday and it turned out not to be dinner but drinks. I am fine, but I watched her do shots and drink liquor drinks and act a fool all in the span of 1.5 hours.

I really did not know that this was on the agenda. I made the best of the situation, brought her a gift, hung out, drank my coke and ordered some cheese dip.

What would you have done? Left right then?

SoberHappyHour

I would have stayed for a bit and remained sober but left eventually. Pretty much what you did. Can't control her actions once the damage is done but you want to be there for a little and don't need to drink cuz they are so well done.

Grungehead

Yeah I think I would have had to. I would probably have to bite my tongue too in order not to say some smart ass remark about thinking this was a birthday party, not a relapse party lol.

Elisabeth888

To be honest, I had been having the urge to drink and it kind of cured it.

She is going to be sorry in the morning.

Ptcapote

Hi Elisabeth---good on you for making it through that. Frankly, I would have been a little p*ssed off at her insensitivity and thoughtlessness in the whole matter. If she is going to fall off the wagon, that's her business. Pulling others who are recovering with her, intentionally or not, is pretty crappy behavior. Albeit probably fairly typically selfish and alcoholic behavior. Anyway, glad it reminded you of how stupid drunks look and strengthened your resolve. I would have probably done the smartass remark thing mentioned by Grungehead (would have been hard to resist) but you did the right thing with a lot more grace and resolve than I probably could have mustered. Good for you and sorry you were put in that spot tonight!

AnotherPaul

Sounds like you handled it perfectly.

Marcher13

You did really well Elisabeth, I imagine I would have done the same since other people were involved. How sad that she intentionally spoiled her birthday, I'm looking forward to being sober on mine, that will be the best birthday present I can give myself.

ElegantlyWasted

Awesome for being a sport and making it through. Funny how ridiculous drunk people look when we're not drinking. Kinda uncool of her if she knows you're not drinking to not forewarn you IMHO.

Dee74

I think you handled it well Elizabeth

D

Carlotta

Hi

I would have handled it just the way you did. Making a scene would have ruined her birthday, nagging and lecturing does not work (I learned the hard way). yes she was insensitive and did not think about your recovery which leads me to believe that either she has not been working her program or even that she has been slipping for a while. On another hand, she obviously values you as a friend and trust you not to gossip.
If she is not going back on the wagon and you want to remain friend with her, you might have to set some boundaries with her. I am not bothered by people drinking or smoking pot around me but I had to set boundaries with my best friend who is an alcoholic and is very obnoxious as soon as he takes the first sip. I will not hang out with him when he drinks (even "lightly") or talk to him on the phone. I told him that he is my friend and I will talk to him and hang out with him but I refuse to talk to his disease.