palebluedot

So I sit here at work feeling like poop, yucky stomach, bloated, headache, etc and I am sick of it. Over the past two years my alcohol addiction has krept up on me so now I cant even go two days without a drink, or two, or three. I want my old life back, feeling healthy and fit and optimistic. I'm on antidepressants too and well its a no-brainer that alcohol reverses the effects. I went to AA for a few months but I am an atheist and cannot even try to convince myself there is a higher anything, it's just not in me. I spoke up about this at a few meetings and was kinda shunned for it. There are agnostic AA meetings in New York but due to my work schedule I cannot attend them. I'm embarrassed to admit this to even the closest people to me and no one knows how serious this addiction has gotten. I am moving in a few days and want to start fresh and I do believe in myself but I definitely need support from people that are going through this. Where I have lived the past two years has been in an uncomfortable environment surrounded by unhealthy people and a culture of drinking. So today is the big day and I'm nervous about failure but also hopeful and determined to take my life back. Sorry for the long post, I'm glad I found this forum.

least

I'm glad you found us and joined the family! You've come to a great place for support.

ScottFromWI

Welcome PaleBlue. SR is a great place for support and there is a lot of info on many of the secular recovery methods if that is what you think might work better for you. The most important thing is committing to sobriety 100% and then finding a plan/program that you can follow. A lot of support can actually be found right here on SR, some even use it as their sole support.

Best of luck and congrats on making a choice to better your life.

palebluedot

Thanks so much everyone, I have been looking at different plans and I used Alan Carr's method to quit smoking as well as CBT skills so I truly believe that if I can kick a 13 year half a pack a day smoking addicition (3 years now and going strong) then I can kick this addiction in the ass. I'm embarrassed to admit to my closest loved ones about how bad this has gotten but I will later tonight.

Received

Hey, palebluedot. I'm glad you found SR and are reaching out for help. You CAN do this. Aside from AA, what else have you tried?

palebluedot

Um basically just Some CBT/DBT tricks. I've just cut out self-destructive drinking buddies this past month because they are not real friends and definitely not supportive of me getting healthy so I won't miss them. I'm looking up AVRT, Rational Recovery and CORE right now. I am not knocking AA at all because I'm glad it works for many people I just know that it is not a method for me.

Coldfusion

Welcome, PBD!

I hope you keep posting here, because it can be an important part of your recovery!

∞CF

Received

Have you looked at our secular forum? Here is a link:

Secular Connections - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

I used RR/AVRT to end my addiction to alcohol. SMART is also something you may look into if you prefer face 2 face meetings of a secular approach.

With the intent of full disclosure I had 13 years without a drink (the first 8 of those 13 years attending AA) when I picked up and drank for 5 years before finding this message board and learning about Rational Recovery/AVRT. I also started seeing a therapist for reasons not pertaining to drinking and I post here.

There are many paths to recovery and I finally found mine. I believe you will find yours too.

ETA: Please note we also have an 12 step secular recovery forum:

Secular 12 Step Recovery - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Dollyangel17

Welcome to SR! I am on day 10 of sobriety, after drinking daily for the past 6 years. 10 days ago I couldn't imagine a day without alcohol, but now it's becoming a clear that not only can I do it, but that I will actually be happier.

This board has been a great source of support for me, as I am sure it will for you too.

Best of luck!

rainyengland

Welcome !..first few days are poop!..but every day you see through it gets better and better!

You made a great choice joining SR!

Dee74

Welcome Palebluedot

Things will get better - but don't hesitate to see a Dr if you feel too yucky

D

Hevyn

Hi Paleblue! We're so glad you joined us. I hope you'll find comfort in being here - this is a great place where everyone understands how you're feeling.

applecake

Hi Paleblue! Glad you found us. Hang in there -- it does get better!

1newcreation

Hey Pale,
good to hear u post. I'm learning in AA how to be tolerant & I have so far hugged an atheist man & Wiccan woman!!!! There is no way in hell less than a yr ago I would have EVER thot of doing that. But as the big bk says, we surround ourselves in the program w/ people we would NOT normally hang out w/. So as a Christian, my question to you is will you keep a God whom you don't believe doesn't exist, keep you from getting sober or work you're recovery?
Make the mtgs you're HP or the steps as one man I read in the grapevine mag for this mth did...the bottom line for you doing this is humility coz we alcoholics are undisciplined & think that we ran the show out there & think we can here but we cannot. Read big bk pg88
Best wishes

nowme

Welcome palebluedot! I'm using SR only right now and it has helped me a great deal. I had to go to rehab to detox from benzos and alcohol and a bunch of other stuff. I'm not attending AA right now either. I have been reading a lot if threads here and joined the May class. Keep coming back here, it will help.

palebluedot

Thanks everyone I am a little over two and a half hours away from the 24 hour mark of no drinking and just getting over my hellish hangover from last night (well early morning cuz technically I had my last beer at 1:30am this morning). I'm tired and nervous but also a little relieved after just admitting to BF an hour ago about how serious an addiction its become. He was supportive of me and not angry or annoyed like I had feared. I am so grateful to have joined this forum and be surrounded by people that know exactly what I'm talking about and feeling. I'm gonna treat myself to a nice shower and episode of something silly and have a good nights rest, not a drunken sleep where I feel like I haven't slept at all. I want to banish those liquor induced under eye dark circles for good! Or at least minimize them, lol. Goodnight everyone

Alynn0788

Congrats. You can do it.