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and the bad news cometh

Old 05-07-2013, 02:34 PM
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and the bad news cometh

so after a little bout with some depression and anger over the last couple of days i am back feeling great and then all of a sudden, WHAM. a friend of mine who i have known for the last 23 years might have cancer! he told me there was a checkup for tonsillitis and the doctor noticed a discoloration and thought it might be something else. so he has to goto see another doctor for tests. i really dont need this right now, my life is turning around for the better, i feel more positive than ever. i couldnt take losing him to cancer, i lost another person very close to me 4 years ago and i was in a downward spiral from that tragic event. i dont want to drink today, i feel good and i love being sober, its just what will happen if? thats the question right now...
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Old 05-07-2013, 02:39 PM
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Drinking won't change anything with your friend. You know that. Don't use the unfortunate circumstances of someone else to convince yourself that drinking is okay. It isn't. Support your friend by remaining sober.
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Old 05-07-2013, 02:41 PM
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Hey there,
We are not for certain what it is at this moment. We have to wait. Your friend will go to the doctor, and find out if he has Cancer or not. I had a similar scare myself, with my own life. I had to play the waiting game, and the news came back positive. The not knowing is really the scary part. You will make it through this. Be there for your friend, and keep yourself grounded. I know that you can make it through this without drinking. The what if? will only cause anxiety and stress. Keep posting as much as you need to. We are here for you.
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Old 05-07-2013, 02:48 PM
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Originally Posted by Legend40 View Post
...its just what will happen if? thats the question right now...
I understand why you might entertain drinking over your friend's health as justified.

My sister was diagnosed with a brain tumor a couple months back. They weren't sure if an operation was even feasible. I told myself, if something happens to my sister, I'm going to drink.

Then it dawned on me. My sister, who had the brain tumor, wasn't drinking over it, why should I? I shouldn't. Only an alcoholic would entertain the idea that someone else's suffering should handled by our drinking.

Be strong for your friend, as you would want that friend to be for you.
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Old 05-07-2013, 02:48 PM
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You are much more valuable to your friend and your self sober, and you will be much more capable of dealing with whatever the outcome may be sober as well. Also remember as others have mentioned that his is only a precautionary test - doctors always want to err on the side of being safe.
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Old 05-07-2013, 02:48 PM
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i really dont need this right now

um, this isn't happening TO you! your friend is the one with the anomaly, and going to get some additional tests. don't see how YOU using this as an excuse to drink will solve anything. one day at a time, you stay sober and you be a good friend.
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Old 05-07-2013, 02:49 PM
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This isn't happening to you. It's happening to your friend.
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Old 05-07-2013, 03:07 PM
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Sorry to hear this..but be strong for yourself - drinking not going to help at all and more likely make things worse

Be strong ,thoughts with you
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Old 05-07-2013, 03:21 PM
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thanks for all the support, i dont want to drink, that much is true. i am just worried about him, he has been a great support for me my whole life. to think he might be gone would devastate me
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Old 05-07-2013, 03:26 PM
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Originally Posted by Legend40 View Post
thanks for all the support, i dont want to drink, that much is true. i am just worried about him, he has been a great support for me my whole life. to think he might be gone would devastate me
Yes, that would be devastating. We do not have any results at this time. May I ask how is your friend? Is he worried? Is he talking about this?
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Old 05-07-2013, 03:39 PM
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I hope your friend will get a clean bill of health, or it's something they catch early, Legend40....you're worrying over what ifs right now....

I get it tho. It's ok to be scared - it's a natural reaction - but you can get through this, sober...I have.

To run away from the reality is not only letting yourself down, it's letting your friend down too, yeah?

D
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Old 05-07-2013, 03:50 PM
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Originally Posted by Mizzuno View Post
Yes, that would be devastating. We do not have any results at this time. May I ask how is your friend? Is he worried? Is he talking about this?
he emailed me and said he was scared, and i understand that totally. i would be messing in my pants if i heard that C word too. i am ok, i am not on the verge of a relapse, thats the last thing i want for myself at this time. i just wanted to come here, vent a little to get it off my chest. i know you all are a great support system and thats why i chose to come here first
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Old 05-07-2013, 05:39 PM
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Hi Legend. I'm glad you wanted to come here & talk about this. I'm hoping your friend will get good news - I'm sorry for the scare.

I know you already realize there's nothing to be gained by drinking - even if the news is bad. It's hard for us when we've always used alcohol as our go-to solution in times of trouble or grief. It backfires terribly - leaves us weak and unable to cope with anything. I felt so much better when I faced up to things with a clear head. We know you can stay away from the temptation, be there for your friend, and not let yourself down. Good job on recognizing this potential trigger.
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