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What on Earth is wrong with me?

Old 05-08-2013, 01:29 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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One thing that I need to add, even if I did not have the financial or legal issues my life was less than desirable. I had to quit drugs and alcohol because it would have killed me. Despite what friends and family think I am exactly where I need to be!
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Old 05-08-2013, 08:30 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Wow, thanks everyone. There are so many helpful comments on here, I don't know how to respond! I was busy today as school, then went grocery shopping (I only glanced wistfully at the wine aisle, but kept walking), then made dinner for the family and did laundry. I'm feeling tired, and my husband is planning on going to the movies in about an hour, so no meeting today, but I did go yesterday. I admit, I'm craving HARD. It's day 3. I keep telling myself: I will not drink, I will not drink, I will not drink, but at the same time I told my husband I forgot something at the store (I really did, but also wanted to go get wine to drink while he's gone), and I need to go get it. He saw right through the bs and said that he would get it after the movie....really trying to keep myself from sneaking out right now.
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Old 05-08-2013, 09:20 PM
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One thing that has helped me is to say I like being sober, rather than I can't drink. I think about the positive things about being sober. If I can't do something or I'm told not to do something the rebel in me wants to do it more. It is a mind game for me.
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Old 05-09-2013, 04:43 AM
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Amanda..I have done the same thing. Unfortunately I think one of the things that got me to drink a couple of weeks ago after almost 2 months of abstaining is reading about relapse in a book about recovery. Our minds are just playing tricks on us. I also know, all too well, how being alone in the house seems like the perfect time to drink and how many times I have "forgotten something" and ran out to the store as an excuse to buy alcohol. Be glad your husband knows the game or you might be able to get away with it. But I also spent years playing that game, hiding my drinking from my boyfriend who wouldn't "allow" me to drink. You have to stay strong, do it for yourself, and my favorite strategy....play the tape to the end. Think about how how you will feel drinking, and the next day, having to start all over again--the regret and disappointment in yourself. We never wake up and say, "OH, I should have drank last night, darn! What a wasted opportunity!"
There is some amazing advice on this thread...I honestly plan to re-read this when I get home from work today and the cravings begin. Thank you
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