Friends arent helping

Old 05-07-2013, 08:23 AM
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Friends arent helping

Why do people keep telling me I don't have a problem and that I don't need to stop drinking I just need to cut back. I do t drink every weekend but when I do 90% of the time I get blackout drunk and wake up mortified with crippling hangovers and anxiety. Is it because I'm not drunk every day and homeless that they think I don't have a problem? I'm a binge drinker, I was never a one or two drink kind of girl. I'm a ten shot plus ten drink kind of girl where anything goes and I could give a **** about anyone but my good time. But they tell me I'm young and that's how I am everything will work out and I'll grow out of it. My mom and my friends just aren't getting it. They think my gf is being to hard on me for telling me that she's leaving me cuz she tired of the embarrassment and the lies and me driving drunk all the time . I don't know how to get across that I feel like I've lost myself and alcohol is doing nothing to enrich my life. I need supporters in my corner not ppl telling me that I'm not that bad and that I just need to have a few drinks then stop. The problem is that rarely happens and I get wasted and regret it for weeks after until I start over again. How do I get across that this is a problem?
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Old 05-07-2013, 08:30 AM
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Are your friends and family really the reason you struggle with sobriety? Are they the ones who are able to convince you to pick up that first drink that leads to the other 10?

Or are you convincing yourself you can drink?

You don't need to convince them you have a problem. Convince yourself, then committ to quitting, and don't pay any attention to what anybody else says about your drinking.
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Old 05-07-2013, 08:47 AM
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Agree with Carl Above. You need to focus on you. Friends, family, and other people may not get it. Find some people who do. I'm dealing with a live in AGF who's Nick name from 10 years ago is Pass Out (Name Withheld but it kinda rhymes). She doesn't get it; we had a verrry toxic anti-synergy when we would both drink. With only her drinking its stressful, but l can control/mediate things so nothing nasty happens. Point being, it would be nice if everyone we cared about in our immediate proximity was understanding and supportive, but that's just not how it works. Just know you're not alone and there are constructive ways to deal with this. It's gotta come from withing you and you have the power to choose what external influences you let in.
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Old 05-07-2013, 08:48 AM
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People who give me a hard time with my sobriety tend to have a problem with alcohol themselves... don't sweat the haters!
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Old 05-07-2013, 08:55 AM
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Why do you need to get it across to your friends/family that you're an alcoholic? Your recovery should be about you and what you know is best for yourself. It's nice if friends support you, but it's not necessary. Maybe it would be better to not talk about it until you felt stronger.
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Old 05-07-2013, 09:20 AM
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Your family and friends probably haven't seen what your gf has seen either. My bf was the one who saw what I was doing at my worst. I kept it all from my parents and friends. No one thinks I need a recovery program. But I know that I need one and am in a program as well as AA now. I'm doing this for myself and it doesn't matter what others think of me. Do what is right for you.
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Old 05-07-2013, 09:30 AM
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Im not sure if taking on the job of "getting it across to your family and friends" is going to help you. The thing about this is that it doesnt matter what others are thinking. If you are tired of driving drunk, blacking out, and all the other things that takes place while under the influence, then it is time for you to quit. I do not think you are overreacting. All of this young stuff leads into old stuff, when it is not funny anymore, and it is not acceptable. Not that driving wasted is acceptable. I think that your family and friends are not truly seeing the extent of what you are doing. I would not go and show them, but it is hard for loved ones to embrace that we have a serious issue that needs to be addressed. I got the "moderate, "Its not that bad", " Your not an alcoholic". Well, after a few times of losing my head, and then going in a psychotic emotional melt down on a plane, they got the picture loud and clear. I have an issue that is serious and it means that I have to abstain from alcohol. Good luck to you. Keep doing what you are doing. You are doing well.
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Old 05-07-2013, 11:16 AM
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Of course you're not an alcoholic to them. Because if you are then that makes them one as well. (maybe not but I've gotten that vibe from my friends)
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Old 05-07-2013, 11:34 AM
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YOU know you have a problem. You've posted about it many times in many different ways and you only have 29 post here. I'm not sure why you continue to look to or listen to friends and family about it. Is it to talk yourself out of knowing what you already know?

Me, personally? I don't give a rats butt what others think, they're not in my head. I know the truth and refuse to engage others or allow others to engage me in conversation about it. It's a cop out.

And, yes, I'm in a crabby mood today.
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Old 05-07-2013, 11:40 AM
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I agree. If your instinct is telling you that you have a drinking problem, you do. There are different types of drinking problems. There are the binge drinkers that may not drink every day, but when they do, will drink to dangerous levels.

Then there alcoholics like me...a functioning alcoholic that never got drunk, but drank every day..some in the morning, some at lunch, and some every night.

And a whole lot of other types too I imagine. Listen to yourself, it seems as though you are not comfortable with the amount you drink, and that is all that matters.

Good luck!
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Old 05-07-2013, 12:15 PM
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For one thing, if they are not alcoholics they don't understand what it means to be an alcoholic. They don't understand that a true alcoholic CAN'T cut back. Or they just don't care and are alcoholics themselves but don't realize it.

Having said that, I'd agree with the others - what they say couldn't be more irrelevant. If you think you have a drinking problem you need to do something about it. If that means getting local support by all means do it- via AA, some other support group or counseling. Or any combination. Bottom line though YOU have to make the decision to quit and act on it - regardless of what anyone else says or does.
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