LeslieL12

My name is Leslie, I have been with my husband for 13years, married for 8. We have 3 beautiful children together. I met him when I was a sophomore in highschool. I have loved him since then and some how still do. He is an addict and has been clean for off and on since August. I completely understand that addiction is a sickness, but lying and deceiving is not. He has made so many lies that I don't believe anything he says and he is not very understanding about it. Like I'm just supposed to believe him. I know that it's out of my control but I obsess over his every move. I don't know how to believe him or how to get past all the lies. Everything he does makes me think he is lying and it's upsetting. How will we ever get past this, how do I get over the damage his addiction has done to me? I'm lost and want it to be better.

tomsteve

welocome leslie and very sorry yer goin through this. i was on yer husbands side. deep down in, i knew the damage i was doin, but couldnt stop. i lied so much that i actually came to start believing my lies.
how to get over the damage? personally i cant answer that, but i know there are many poeple here who have been in your shoes.
prayers yer way.

Dee74

Hi and welcome Leslie

I told a lot of lies when I was drinking, mostly to protect my addiction.
It's not something I'm proud of now, but I think it does come with the territory.

I can well imagine the impact that has on you and the fear you must carry around.

Have you thought of something like AlAnon? maybe it's time to start focusing on you, and not your husband?

We also have a Family and Friends forum here - I hope you'll check that out too

Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

D

Hevyn

Welcome Leslie - I'm so glad you reached out.

Please check out our Friends and Families Forum too - I know you'll find others who've been through the same thing. It helps so much to not be alone with this - I hope you find the hope and encouragement you're looking for. We're happy you joined us.

Hevyn

Dee beat me to it about the other forum . You'll find all sorts of valuable advice.

LeslieL12

Thank you so much to all of you. I will look into those friends and family forums. I have been to many alanon meetings and I have been through the literature. But it was always to hard to focus on me. I'm learning all that now. Thanks again!