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Old 05-06-2013, 02:27 PM
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Red face New and Wanting Insight

Hello,

I have been a heavy drinker for about 7 years (with 1 year off due to my senior year of college) and have gotten nothing from drinking heavily except 3 DUI's, guilt, embarrassment, and frequent hangovers. I am angry at myself, but I am coming to a point where I am accepting that "hey, it is okay, no one is perfect" point in my life; so here I am.
I am proud that I have been drinking every other day for the past week, and I never thought I could do even that. My drinking problem has been a major issue on my mind that I have been striving to fix or lessen. Honestly, I came here to feel better about my situation, so I could justify myself to myself. I am over it, but I am so bored. Boredom is not an excuse, I should find a hobby but there is nothing I am interested in except going to grad. school (which I did not get into twice). I love school.
I am rambling, but seeing this screen here makes me feel like I can breathe and express myself, which is cathartic looking at the essay I just wrote. UGH. I don't know. That is all for now. (I am worried about what you will think of me)
Thank you and I would love to hear a tidbit of your story,
Aly
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Old 05-06-2013, 02:35 PM
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I also had 3 DUI's and the final one, was my bottom as it led me to jail. I am now over 2 years sober...you can do it...stop the madness. I go to AA...have a sponsor & worked the Steps. It's an idea you may want to try. I wish you well.....
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Old 05-06-2013, 02:45 PM
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Don't worry about what people here will think of you..people here are not going to judge or criticize.
Continue with school and give up drinking every day of the week. You can do it.
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Old 05-06-2013, 02:49 PM
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I want to do it on my own

Bryangt,
I really appreciate your support! I've been to AA and it was not for me, but I am willing to try again. I do not want to completely cut myself off from alcohol, I just want control over it. I feel like I am gaining control by reaching out to people that understand (like you) and praying (not to offend anyone, I am not associated with any religious affiliation). I really want to do this on my own. I believe in myself. Thank you so much for your concern. I guess I have and "alternative" mindset about my recovery from binge drinking. I have an open mind though, I just really want to gain self-efficacy from tackling this obstacle without traditional methods.
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Old 05-06-2013, 02:58 PM
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23 years i have been a active drinker until recently something happened to me and i turned myself right around. i think it was all the liars, the users, the hangovers, the loss of money. selling all my personal items i had invested money in that finally said, what the heck am i doing. of course a small health scare also helped me in making a decision to get sober. i realize now that i dont need that in my life, what good comes from it? i have never met a person who was a alcoholic that had a great life, if there is one out there its very very rare and unusual. my advice to you would be to seek out a local outpatient alcohol counseling center. they can help you with your issues with drinking, those people are here to help, not to hurt. i know first hand, i have been in and out of treatment since i was 19 years old and here i am at 40 and what do i have? i am living with family members because i cant afford to live alone. real sad isnt it? i never did anything to help myself get a career, no school, nothing. so you have a good head start, keep going and give yourself a life i could never give myself. i wish you all the luck in the world, i really do.
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Old 05-06-2013, 03:01 PM
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Originally Posted by Alycenphoenix View Post
I've been to AA and it was not for me, but I am willing to try again. I do not want to completely cut myself off from alcohol, I just want control over it.
When alcohol has had it's way with you and you have lost all hope then you may find that AA is just the thing for you. I did.

All the best.

Bob R
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Old 05-06-2013, 03:19 PM
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I appreciate everyone's replies and solidarity, but I am not an "organized" type of person. I believe everyone has the power to change without a structured approach to recovery. Please do not tell me to go to AA. How about telling me your story instead of throwing AA in my face. I just get angry when everyone believes that one way is the right way, when has that worked in our world's history? We must get deeper
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Old 05-06-2013, 03:28 PM
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Slow down Al,
I'm not in AA, I use SR and so far so good.
You do whatever is comfortable for you, and good luck.
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Old 05-06-2013, 03:29 PM
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Hi and welcome to SR



AA is not the only way to get sober, people here use a variety of methods. There is a secular forum which will provide you with lots of information. My husband and I are both in recovery, I'm in AA and he isn't, and we are both doing really well on our chosen paths.

However, many if not all of us have tried to moderate or control our drinking. Speaking for myself, I couldn't do it, and neither could any of the alcoholics I've met.

It is hard work limiting the number of drinks per day or putting time limits on drinking hours etc. It didn't work for me and I tried it for years.

I hope that whatever you choose to do, you are successful and happy. Best wishes to you x
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Old 05-06-2013, 03:35 PM
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Phew!
I was starting to get freaked out about people saying AA is the only way. Thank you for clearing the air, I was getting worked up.
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Old 05-06-2013, 03:53 PM
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I am a binge drinker. I quit by using this site and spirituality. There is no way I could do AA as like yourself I am a disorganized person. I have always been this way, not because of drinking. I find alot of hope and inspiration in the teachings of Native Americans, Buddhists and the bible. I am looking to fulfill my purpose in life and drinking is not part of that no matter how fun it is

I started drinking to fit in at the age of 22. I continued just as something to do on my nights off work. It wasn't until a disaster happened in my life that I became a binge drinker. I was drinking strictly to get drunk. I look back now and realize I was actually trying to kill myself with alcohol. I couldn't see myself living without my family which I had lost by unfortunate circumstances beyond my control. I lived for my family so with them gone I felt I was nothing. I hit rock bottom and I knew if I didn't do something I was going to die. I took my dog and whatever I could fit in my car and moved to Mississippi. This began my recovery and the journey to discover who I am. I have been on this journey ever since with each year learning more and more and letting go of more old habits that don't suit the new me anymore. You will find out what you really want out of life as you move along your path. Then you will wonder how you could have ever thought life was boring. Life is full of magic and wonder if you take the time to see it. Best luck to you.
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Old 05-06-2013, 03:58 PM
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Thank you Roseblossom!!
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Old 05-06-2013, 04:09 PM
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Originally Posted by Alycenphoenix View Post
I appreciate everyone's replies and solidarity, but I am not an "organized" type of person. I believe everyone has the power to change without a structured approach to recovery. Please do not tell me to go to AA. How about telling me your story instead of throwing AA in my face. I just get angry when everyone believes that one way is the right way, when has that worked in our world's history? We must get deeper
hey dont worry, when people mention AA its their way of saying it worked for them. i dont attend AA in my city because of all the cliques here, but i know eventually one day i will need to go back. sometimes we need to go slow, like myself, right now i am just going to my mental health appointments and getting my outpatient alcohol counseling set up. for me, thats all i need right now. i dont want to overwhelm myself with so much stuff at once. plus i throw in 30 minutes of exercise everyday as well with a day off in between the workouts. i will say YOU do what you feel comfortable with, thats the only way we as alcoholics can be successful. i want to be successful and there is nothing stopping me from getting to my ultimate goal. i have a plan and so far each step is going according to how i want it too. that doesnt mean i wont take suggestions from other sober people, but i know what i want and i will kick myself in the ass daily just to make it all happen. one day i will look back and say to myself, damn man, you went through a ton of crap and now you have come out clean on the other side. YOU can do this too, when we put our minds to something we can accomplish anything. (think i might have said that before lol) its true and i am not stopping, not for anything or anyone.
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Old 05-06-2013, 04:10 PM
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I tried for a long time to control my drinking... Why couldn't I just have one or two likes normal person? Guess I'm just not wired that way. I started with just this site and myself. I white knuckled every second. After bingeing some more, I tried AA. Worked for me though I know it isn't for everyone. Check out the different recovery methods. Welcome to the site.
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Old 05-06-2013, 04:37 PM
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You can read some of our stories here: Stories of Recovery - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

I didn't use AA in my recovery, but I knew full well that never drinking again was my only option to achieve health and serenity long-term.

Happy to "meet" you There's tons of great stuff here.
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Old 05-06-2013, 05:17 PM
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Alyce, there are many people using different recovery methods here. I have used SR for many years, along with lots of good books. Choose any way you like to get sober, as long as it works for you.

What I find scary is that you think you can control your drinking. If you're an alcoholic you cannot control your drinking. It just won't work. Most of us here have tried to do that, me included. It would work for a bit and then I'd get worse. And, all the while, I'd be obsessing about alcohol.
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Old 05-06-2013, 06:24 PM
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Welcome Alyce! SR and the wonderful people here helped me quit a life long drinking habit. I felt so alone until I came here. I hope you'll feel hope and encouragement by joining us - we care about you.
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Old 05-06-2013, 06:46 PM
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i found that it is just exhausting to try to moderate....I rationalized to myself that i am not going to be controlled by a liquid...there are many non-harmful liquids to drink...tasty and healthy.

please take the time to read through all the sections and get some information to mull over....I like AVRT, it's all how you relate to it.

3 DUI's is a sure sign that you are doing more harm than good by trying to moderate.
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Old 05-06-2013, 07:10 PM
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Alycen - you have come to the right place. There is not one road to recovery, and that in itself has many definitions as well. Please understand that I am an alcoholic and unfortunately did cross that invisible line where I cannot moderate. Trust me, I tried.

Only you know if you have crossed and cannot drink in moderation. My best advice is not to lie to yourself. As long as you are truly honest when you look in the mirror the answers to your questions will materialize. I've lied to my own reflection, but I've always known deep down that I was lying. Eventually, I stopped. It was the day I chose a sober life over 8 months ago.

You will find a lot of experience, strength and hope here. Take what you need and leave the rest as the saying goes...wishing you much success however you define it
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Old 05-06-2013, 07:43 PM
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Originally Posted by Alycenphoenix View Post
I do not want to completely cut myself off from alcohol, I just want control over it. I feel like I am gaining control by reaching out to people that understand (like you) and praying (not to offend anyone, I am not associated with any religious affiliation).
Welcome Alycen. I understand your not wanting to give up alcohol completely. I (and probably many others here) feel the same way. Unfortunately, I (and we) realize that we've gone too far down the alcohol path to ever return to anything resembling social or controlled drinking.

However, if you think moderation is an option for you, there are two organizations that take this approach. One is Moderation Management and the other is HAMS (Harm Reduction for Alcohol).

Moderation Management
Harm Reduction for Alcohol--HAMS

Personally, I was a once-a-month drinker for decades. But about 6 years ago I started into some serious binge drinking. There was no particular event, it just sort of happened. That type of drinking led to some pretty serious events. Thankfully, I did not receive any DUI's and I did not hurt anyone other than myself, but I did some incredibly stupid and careless things. It just came to the point where stopping completely was the best option, and that's what I'm working on now.
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