Need advice

Old 05-06-2013, 08:32 AM
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Need advice

Hi, I've been around the forums for a little bit and finally decided to jump in. I know I have a drinking problem, from my Irish roots, I drink almost every night..or should I say I don't have a drink on very few nights. I work away from home mostly, I have to stay in bed and breakfasts during the week. When I finish work, I go to my room get changed and head out to the town or village. I usually get something to eat in the local pub, normally the only place around, then I will start drinking. My normal session would be 6 or 7 pints, but that can go over 10. When I go home at the weekends, I normally go out for a few pints with a couple of mates while we watch the match... but sometimes this can get to being 15 or 20.
I am married with two kids. My eldest has just turned 14. The other day he turned around to me, out of the blue, and said that he was sick of me getting drunk all the time, that I never spent any time with him... I don't know what to say. I feel devastated! I've thought about this before, but mosly I hide it away in some dark recess and don't listen. The worse part is that I just feel like drowning my sorrows... what a poor ******* I am!
I can see the tears in his eyes, the hurt in his face, and the bravery that it took for him to confront me. Like I say, I feel completely shellshocked...
Are there any other fathers out there with similar experiences?
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Old 05-06-2013, 08:38 AM
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I think most of us with children know that we have let them down. I know I did and it's very hard to come to terms with that. Is this going to be a wake-up call for you? I hope so and that you decide to stop drinking for good and become the father that you want to be.
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Old 05-06-2013, 08:44 AM
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It's not too late to give your kids a sober father PaddyMan! He told you that because he still cares and wants a relationship with you. It's not too late. And bravo to you for listening and taking it to heart, as hard as that must have been to hear.
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Old 05-06-2013, 08:59 AM
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I was in the same boat 4 months ago.. You can do this!! Get a real plan together and execute!! Stop the insanity, you're worth it!! Wishing you luck!!
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Old 05-06-2013, 09:30 AM
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Old 05-06-2013, 09:35 AM
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I commend you for taking any action to stop this that you can. I grew up with alcoholic parents. I too told them time and time again how much their drinking had effected me, and our relationship. They finally quit drinking when I was 19, the damage was somewhat irreparable, but we do have a strong relationship now.
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Old 05-06-2013, 09:43 AM
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Hi PaddyMan - we're glad you found us.

I definitely affected my son's growing up years with my drinking - though at the time I never thought I was. I wasn't abusive, but my personality changed greatly - which must've been so confusing for him. I'm glad you've reached out for some support and advice. There's plenty of it here. You can turn everything around.
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Old 05-06-2013, 09:47 AM
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Best to is extremely important for me to live clean and sober so that I have positive relationships with my grown sons.
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Old 05-07-2013, 02:38 AM
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Thanks for all the reply's. I really don't know where to start. I know it can be as simple as just stopping drinking. But it feels a lot more complicated than that. I don't really look for help much in this life, probably my problem in a nutshell. I didn't drink yesterday, and I'm going to try not to drink all week. It's being away from home when I crave the most... boredom! But I'm really gonna try and stay away from the booze at the weekend, and spend as much time with my kids as possible, see if I can get my son to open up a bit more
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