Day 188 and Counting...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Racine, WI
Posts: 35
Day 188 and Counting...
Hello All!!
I just wanted to post a quick update here, actually more of a quick intro to where I am at currently with my recovery. Because I am so new here that the word upodate would be kind of out of place, but enough with overthinking. I am sitting here 188 days clean from a 5 year everyday pain pill addiction. I can never thank my kids and girlfriend enough for being so supportive and not walking out on me for relapsing last April after being in a car accident. However, like most post car accident ER or doctor appointments go they usually prescribe a decent amount of hydro or oxycodone medication given your pain level. So shortly after the accident my aforementioned girlfriend (who is a nurse by the way) dragged me to the ER to get checked out due to the stiffness and overall soreness of my body, upon inspection of my medical records the treating ER doctor said Mr Kenyon we cannot administer pain medication to you,why you ask? Because when I made my first attempt at rehab/getting clean back in December of 2011 I gave a letter to all my doctors and my dentist. so with that letter firmly recorded in my file from me personally I told him is there anything else non-narcotic for the pain I am in, I received a toradol shot right in the old butt. Granted it stung quite a bit, I guess thats a natural reaction from that medicine.
So off we went from the ER, and they said if I need anything additional for the pain its up to me to superceed my own letter and see my family physician which was totally fine by me and my girlfriend alike. Only about a week later there Iwas buying vicodin and oxys off the street, was I hurt still from the accident? Sure a bit sore, but not in enough pain to grant the use of opiate based pain medication. Thus, began the sick cycle of lying, finger poitning at everyone but me, etc. I think all of us who are addicts on here know the game. The use culminated on halloween 2012 here, when I finally got tired of 1) not having any money constantly and 2) the search for the pills in general on a daily basis became stressful. With one phone call to the VA in North Chicago on October 30, 2012 I sit before you still a man clear of his drug of choice and other bad substances.
I still ask myself if it wasnt for that accident would I have started back up using again and the answer is still a resounding YES! Simple fact being and this is not a knock on my first rehab because they did great, but there was no maintenance program. They were a 12-step, cold turkey based organization, so when i left after my 6 weeks there I had massive cravings, but never caved in whatsoever to the pills. However, with the NA program at the VA I have attended meetings regularly, gotten a sponsor, and take suboxne once a day. And yes before anyone asks I understand that in nature and chemical makeup suboxone is a drug in itself, but if it keeps my cravings away and prevents me from stepping over the line of uncontrallability again I will take them as directed.
I have read now in the papers that kids abuse suboxone for its effects, where I sit back and wonder how? Do not get it twisted suboxone does give you a little boost in the morning, but nothing horible in regads to the vicodin and oxys. One last closing statement here, for anyone who reads this post and this is your first time here, you are in the right place and the support here is overwhelming and extremely helpful. Do not shy away from posting or asking questions, because those certain questions you have some other folks may have them as well people! I sit here at Day 188 still taking it one day at a time, because no one is promised tomorrow!
To any new recovering addicts in here there will be days that you might have to go in ten minute increments or hour increments just to get through that day of sobriety but I promise you as long as you do you will not only be proud of yourself, but all of us on here as well. Granted there is a lot of work of being an addict with all the manipulation, lies, travel times to get your drug of choice, but recovery dwarfs addiction in regards to work time. REcovery also has many many levels of personal rewards whereas addiction doesn not. Ok, i am tying your guys' eyes off here. I am just thankful you guys take the time to view my posts much less reply. Take care everyone in here and thank you for opening your forums to me as well. I am in the right place.
Have a blessed day,
Patrick K.--
I just wanted to post a quick update here, actually more of a quick intro to where I am at currently with my recovery. Because I am so new here that the word upodate would be kind of out of place, but enough with overthinking. I am sitting here 188 days clean from a 5 year everyday pain pill addiction. I can never thank my kids and girlfriend enough for being so supportive and not walking out on me for relapsing last April after being in a car accident. However, like most post car accident ER or doctor appointments go they usually prescribe a decent amount of hydro or oxycodone medication given your pain level. So shortly after the accident my aforementioned girlfriend (who is a nurse by the way) dragged me to the ER to get checked out due to the stiffness and overall soreness of my body, upon inspection of my medical records the treating ER doctor said Mr Kenyon we cannot administer pain medication to you,why you ask? Because when I made my first attempt at rehab/getting clean back in December of 2011 I gave a letter to all my doctors and my dentist. so with that letter firmly recorded in my file from me personally I told him is there anything else non-narcotic for the pain I am in, I received a toradol shot right in the old butt. Granted it stung quite a bit, I guess thats a natural reaction from that medicine.
So off we went from the ER, and they said if I need anything additional for the pain its up to me to superceed my own letter and see my family physician which was totally fine by me and my girlfriend alike. Only about a week later there Iwas buying vicodin and oxys off the street, was I hurt still from the accident? Sure a bit sore, but not in enough pain to grant the use of opiate based pain medication. Thus, began the sick cycle of lying, finger poitning at everyone but me, etc. I think all of us who are addicts on here know the game. The use culminated on halloween 2012 here, when I finally got tired of 1) not having any money constantly and 2) the search for the pills in general on a daily basis became stressful. With one phone call to the VA in North Chicago on October 30, 2012 I sit before you still a man clear of his drug of choice and other bad substances.
I still ask myself if it wasnt for that accident would I have started back up using again and the answer is still a resounding YES! Simple fact being and this is not a knock on my first rehab because they did great, but there was no maintenance program. They were a 12-step, cold turkey based organization, so when i left after my 6 weeks there I had massive cravings, but never caved in whatsoever to the pills. However, with the NA program at the VA I have attended meetings regularly, gotten a sponsor, and take suboxne once a day. And yes before anyone asks I understand that in nature and chemical makeup suboxone is a drug in itself, but if it keeps my cravings away and prevents me from stepping over the line of uncontrallability again I will take them as directed.
I have read now in the papers that kids abuse suboxone for its effects, where I sit back and wonder how? Do not get it twisted suboxone does give you a little boost in the morning, but nothing horible in regads to the vicodin and oxys. One last closing statement here, for anyone who reads this post and this is your first time here, you are in the right place and the support here is overwhelming and extremely helpful. Do not shy away from posting or asking questions, because those certain questions you have some other folks may have them as well people! I sit here at Day 188 still taking it one day at a time, because no one is promised tomorrow!
To any new recovering addicts in here there will be days that you might have to go in ten minute increments or hour increments just to get through that day of sobriety but I promise you as long as you do you will not only be proud of yourself, but all of us on here as well. Granted there is a lot of work of being an addict with all the manipulation, lies, travel times to get your drug of choice, but recovery dwarfs addiction in regards to work time. REcovery also has many many levels of personal rewards whereas addiction doesn not. Ok, i am tying your guys' eyes off here. I am just thankful you guys take the time to view my posts much less reply. Take care everyone in here and thank you for opening your forums to me as well. I am in the right place.
Have a blessed day,
Patrick K.--
Not Alone
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: South East UK
Posts: 1,513
Hey Kenyon,
Fair play. I have a letter like that stamped into my medical files. I also told them that if I came in trying to get them to change it then they should remove me from the doctors surgery. I'm so glad you came back from it. It sounds like you learnt an awful lot from it.
Natom.
Fair play. I have a letter like that stamped into my medical files. I also told them that if I came in trying to get them to change it then they should remove me from the doctors surgery. I'm so glad you came back from it. It sounds like you learnt an awful lot from it.
Natom.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Racine, WI
Posts: 35
thank you everyone! your added congrats and knowing all of us have each others back is more than enough to stay on the right track. one day at a time is what i tell myself multiple times a day. not too mention it only takes one use of that past drug to total out my entire sober time, is just not worth it 
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