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Old 05-05-2013, 10:26 PM
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New to this site and I have a general question

Hello,

My sobriety date is 12/13/12 and I have not had a drink or drug since. However I have had one grey area issue after I took a 30 day coin that my old sponsor, a trusted fellow, another trusted fellow and a member of my dignitaries sympathies group did not consider a relapse. I was sitting in my room playing video games and had two DayQuil gel caps sitting on my desk. I am a very messy person so if you know me personally the fact I have random DayQuil caplets on my desk wouldn't be a surprise. I can assure you, myself and my higher power that I had no intention of trying to get high or was seeking relief via mind and mood altering substances, but I just took them compulsively, like I was on Auto Pilot. I literally remember the experience as they were randomly on my desk, then the foil pack was empty because I consumed them. I freaked out about the incident and couldn't believed it just happened like that. I waited a day and played this mental roller-coaster, attempted to share it in a meeting, then I finally called my sponsor who said it was not a relapse. Still felt crappy about it and went to my Dignitaries group in which no one responded to me with feedback. I literally shared it then the next person gave feedback about the person who shared before. I was told it wasn't a relapse, I don't believe it's a relapse but I am finding that having a character defect where I am scared of being judged is overwhelming me a lot. I am going to share this with my new sponsor tomorrow and he was at that dignitaries meeting I was at and see what he thinks. This addiction stuff can be frustrating!
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Old 05-05-2013, 10:38 PM
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Well, I dont think it was a relapse either. Yes, it was impulsive, addictive behavior, but I wouldnt call it a relapse.
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Old 05-05-2013, 10:45 PM
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Hi and welcome NPK

Whether or not it's a relapse is up to you I think - I would be concerned about the auto pilot factor if it was me tho.

I hope you and your sponsor can discuss it and come to some conclusions

D
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Old 05-05-2013, 10:52 PM
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I would not consider that a relapse. I think we all carry a lot of baggage from our addictions, while you need to stay vigilant in your sobriety; it is okay to forgive yourself of past mistakes. Believe it or not, I think many of us are our worst critics and imagine that others would judge us harshly over the minutest mishap. Now, lighten up a bit and stop being so hard on yourself.

Congratulations on staying sober for nearly five months!
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Old 05-05-2013, 11:17 PM
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The auto-pilot factor concerned me a bit to and I addressed it a lot in meetings and with a sponsor. I don't feel like this is a "whisky with the milk" kind of thing, I don't feel like it is a relapse, I prayed to my higher power/God as I understand him about this evening and I got relief about it for myself. I think I just fear the judgement. I guess I got a good fear to put on my reworked fourth step I am doing with this new sponsor.
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Old 05-06-2013, 04:18 AM
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maybe try to start cleaning up and organizing and try to keep it a bit organized now....?
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Old 05-06-2013, 05:27 AM
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Honestly, to me this is not a relapse. I can see that this really bothers you, and you want to do the right thing. Rest assured that you are doing the right thing. I would most likely let this situation go. It is nothing to cause so much worry and stress over.
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Old 05-06-2013, 05:35 AM
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I would say that if it's not a narcotic and if used
for allergies or a cold then it's ok. There is so many
over the counter medicines used for various illnesses
and if taken responsible then its still ok.

It's easy to abuse many things, but if you live
and incorporated the tools and knowledge of
a recovery program in all areas of your life then
using your gut and mind you can live a easier,
more content way of life alcohol and drug free.
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Old 05-06-2013, 06:38 AM
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I think it's up to you to decide whether or not it's a relapse. Ultimately, it's how you feel about the situation that matters, not what others think.
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Old 05-06-2013, 06:48 AM
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Originally Posted by Woodswalker View Post
Well, I dont think it was a relapse either. Yes, it was impulsive, addictive behavior, but I wouldnt call it a relapse.
What is a relapse then if it isn't drinking/using additively/impulsively ?? ....

All the best.

Bob R
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