Babs78756

Hello,

I've read threads on this site for months. I am a binge drinker alcoholic. I hide my alcohol consumption and few people in my circle really really know the extent of my drinking. I'm 37 weeks pregnant and have binged on multiple occasions. I'm disgusted with myself. I would never have imagined I'd be this person. While all my obgyn check-ups have shown that the baby is normal, healthy no facial problems and growth is right on target I'm petrified the binges have caused her mental damage. I cannot even wrap my mind around what I've done.... I have finally registered for this site as I know I need help and to find other women who have a similar experience. Please help if you can... I'd love to hear from other moms struggling whole pregnant. If you did binge while pregnant- how are you babies? Please don't judge- I can hardly look at myself as it is....

flutter

No judgment here, what's done is done. I would be concerned now with how you're going to keep from drinking once baby is here.. I got pregnant about 2 months in to my recovery, so I don't have experience with drinking while pregnant, but I do know how hard (is this your first?) it is to have a baby that is for sure, and if I hadn't prepared myself to have some coping skills to turn to once he was here, I would have drank for sure. What support do you have with the baby? (Husband, family?) What are your plans for recovery? (do you plan to quit forever?). I hope you've been honest with your doctors, there's just no telling what if any damage has occurred until baby is here, and sometimes not even until baby starts developing and showing possible signs of issues.

Babs78756

Thank you Flutter,

I have a husband who is supportive and will have friends and family around when she arrives. I had previously gone to meetings but stopped going, I will return and get a sponsor. I have been honest with my doctor about my struggles and while all the tests are coming back normal, there is no way to know the extent of what I've done. I'm hoping some moms will respond and tell me their experiences. I'm a wreck. I am guilt ridden. I am shame.

flutter

It's still early in some parts of the world I'm sure a lot of people with direct experience will be along shortly! Also there's a "Women Only" board on here somewhere, you might find a few posts there too about pregnancy and alcoholism.

ETA: here's the link to the women's forum: Women In Recovery - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

visch1

Welcome. It seems you know where to go for one day at a time. The shame because of drinking lessens if we don't drink and know it's the first drink that gets us drunk and back on the slippery slope again. BE WELL

Fandy

welcome to SR....i agree, check through the woman's section.
There used to be a woman on here who posted regularly, her son was born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome...you might find her posts helpful, i cannot remember her name?

Babs78756

Thank you everyone. I have posted in the women's forum as well. Thank you for the guidance.

Pondlady

Welcome Babs, No judgement, but as I work in early childhood education, I'd discuss this with your pediatrician too. I hope you find support to stop drinking, this is a great place, I stopped last June and it's been a life saver for me.

PeacefulRain

Welcome Babs! Please know that fetal alcohol syndrome can not be detected before birth. I was lucky, I was able to stop cold turkey when pregnant. I wish to God I had never picked up again after my daughters birth. I wish you the best of luck, stay close here to us, it helps a lot!

What are your plans after she is born? I have 2 toddlers and while the infant stage is hard toddlers can easily drive you to drink!

Anna

This is very significant.

I hope that your baby is safe and please, please stop drinking now for the sake of your child and yourself.

Sasha4

No judgement from me either.

I didn't drink when I was pregnant, but I carried on after my baby was born.

Is this your first baby?

I would say you have a couple of weeks left before your new arrival.
Use that time to get as strong in recovery as possible. Go AA, read here, post here, find any support you can.

Worrying now will not change anything.
I have known of a woman who five drinks the whole of her pregnancy and her child had FAS. I have known of friends who drank the entire way through and the baby was fine.
You just don't know.

But don't let alcohol steal anymore precious time away from you and your baby.

You deserve better and your baby does too.

You should be looking forward to the birth now, not worrying about FAS and your child.

You need to enjoy every milestone and treasure it, not be worrying if the baby will ever reach this part of its development and if you had something to do with it.

My best to you
x

Babs78756

Sasha4, yes this is my first child. I am so disgusted by myself and what I've done. It's surreal to think I'm even in this situation. This was never suppossed to be me. I know I am a good mom, I love this girl. She's going to change my life in the best possible way and to think I've put hurdles in front of her, it's too much to bare. My husband and my daughter are my life... I hate this lie. I hate this disease. I am afraid.

I will get to a meeting and begin my recovery, again.

Thank you for taking the time to comment...

least

What's past is past. Get sober today and keep it that way. I pray everything is alright with your baby. Get help to stop drinking and stay sober, for you, your husband, and your precious baby.