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Tired and trying to quit

Old 05-04-2013, 07:09 AM
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Tired and trying to quit

Good morning..

I am a 45 year old man and I have everything going for me. I have a wonderful family, great kids and a career that I love. I go into phases. I spend a week at the gym exercising, working hard and being a family man. By the end of the week, I get such a 'high' from life that I then go out and seek friends of mine to have drinks with. I have a couple of beers with a friend and bring back a bottle of vodka/whisky and hide it in my home and drink till I pass out.

I struggle with my life for the next week where I continue the drinking cycle every other day and then get tired of it and quit again.

I am not able to hold my quit. In one week, I forget all the trauma I put myself through and more importantly, what I put my family through. The kids feel that the dad is erratic and not dependable and I hate it.

I am not able to control my thought process when I start doing well and fall back again. When I drink, I smoke and eat unhealthy and hate every minute of it. I feel my insides are corroded by the time I am done with a week of drinking every other day.

This time, I am determined to keep my quit and have just signed on to this site. I plan on spending a lot of time here and and pointers would be helpful. I have enjoyed reading the posts here and look to become a part of the group

Thanks in advance

Sam
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Old 05-04-2013, 07:19 AM
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Welcome to SR!

Originally Posted by saminmi View Post
I am not able to control my thought process when I start doing well and fall back again.
Interesting comment - so much to work with here. There is a PART of your brain you cannot control. That part of your brain craves alcohol. It doesn't really think, per se, but it craves alcohol and you can't control that.

The part of your brain that makes moral judgments and has inhibitions does think. And you have absolute control over that part. That's not the part that wants to drink. That's the part that decides to drink.

You just have to put the part that makes the decisions back in charge.

Best of Luck!

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Old 05-04-2013, 07:21 AM
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Hi Sam!
I'm glad that you have decided to quit. You definitely came to the right place!
I understand what you're talking about. I was able to be good for days, sometimes weeks and then I felt like I can go and have fun since I've been so good.
That always turned into binge drinking for 3 or 4 days...I already lost one job because of that..
I always told myself that I can go out and just have few drinks. That was such a lie. After two nothing can stop me...

I have now been sober for 6 days and this time I have decided to make it.

Everytime I get an urge to go drinking I come here and read posts.
It really helps!

I wish you strenght. I know it won't be easy but it will be worth it!

Good luck!
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Old 05-04-2013, 07:37 AM
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Paul (nonsensical) - thank you for putting things in perspective. That actually helped. Took me a couple of minutes to process but I am going to save that statement on my phone so that I can read it every day

Sassu - thank you for the comments. I will be a regular as well.
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Old 05-04-2013, 07:46 AM
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Welcome here Sam,

You chillingly remind me of my former drinking buddy. He lived like you are, doing great things through the week but really, just waiting for the weekend so he could drink. Then he would tie one on until Sunday night when he would have to suffer the hangover till the next weekend.

He finally got sober and stayed that way for 5 years. Then one Friday he called all his friends to tell them he was going to Iowa to visit his daughter. Monday morning he jumped off his 11 story building.

You can do this. I am trying to make this Day 1 again after a relapse, so we can stay sober together.
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Old 05-04-2013, 07:50 AM
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Hey, I know how you feel. I finally had enough on Nov 5, 2012. I decided to fully embrace the program. Trying to do it alone, my way, wasn't working for me. I went to 90 meetings in 90 days. Made getting sober my #1 priority. Even though I had a full time job, was a graduate student, and have a family. I couldn't take the shame, frustration and pain of drinking anymore. I went to meetings all over town, whenever I could squeeze one into my schedule. I never let my schedule stop me from drinking!!!

When I was sober only 5 days my teenage son became suicidal and was hospitalized. I almost went to the bar straight from the hospital, but instead I called someone from the program. I had collected some phone numbers at the meetings and put them in my cell. That phone call may have saved my life!! 40 minutes later I had no desire to drink!!

You cannot do this by yourself. Let the AA program and the people in it help you, after all, it's what keeps them sober!!

And lastly, or maybe firstly, PRAY!!! Get on your knees and beg God to remove this obsession from you. You will need a God of your understanding to help you through this time. You can do this, it's simple, but not easy!!
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Old 05-04-2013, 07:57 AM
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Glad you found SR!

AVRT
SMART
Rational Recovery
SOS
Life Ring
Women for Sobriety
Power to Quit
AA

All have their own websites. Lots of reading for you to consider!
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Old 05-04-2013, 09:16 AM
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Originally Posted by saminmi View Post
Paul (nonsensical) - thank you for putting things in perspective. That actually helped. Took me a couple of minutes to process but I am going to save that statement on my phone so that I can read it every day
If you're interested in that perspective, there is quite a trove of information over in the secular connections forums.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ined-long.html

Is a good read that many people appreciate.

I'm a 48 year old man with a great career, beautiful family, big suburban home and (until last January) a penchant for getting pass out drunk 4-6 times a week. I learned what I needed to learn here at SR to help me stop doing things that would eventually wreck my family's future.

I did it. You can do it. Sally Forth!
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Old 05-04-2013, 03:26 PM
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Originally Posted by Nonsensical View Post
Welcome to SR!



Interesting comment - so much to work with here. There is a PART of your brain you cannot control. That part of your brain craves alcohol. It doesn't really think, per se, but it craves alcohol and you can't control that.

The part of your brain that makes moral judgments and has inhibitions does think. And you have absolute control over that part. That's not the part that wants to drink. That's the part that decides to drink.

You just have to put the part that makes the decisions back in charge.

Best of Luck!



This makes perfect sense. Thanks for posting it.
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Old 05-04-2013, 03:33 PM
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Sounds very similar to my pattern. I totally dried out for a year after a couple false starts. Figure out a way to get through the first Month and It should get easier. Maybe try AA, Making some kind of time commitment so you can't go drink with friends, get some kind of support group that you will be accountable to, write a cantract with yourself etc.? Welcome, and we're here to help you figure something out.
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Old 05-04-2013, 04:44 PM
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Welcome to SR Sam

I found posting here everyday helped me not to fall back into that same old way of thinking.

It was hard to forget what I'd been through when I was reminding myself of it everyday, y'know?

good to have you join us Sam

D
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Old 05-04-2013, 04:57 PM
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Thank you for the wonderful words of support. Will stay glued on.

Thank you
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Old 05-04-2013, 05:07 PM
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Welcome sam. You found a great place for support, encouragement, and hope. We all understand how you're feeling. Glad to have you here.
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